Hi friend! I’ve heard of news of couples who used to be filled with love, and who passionately loved each other, but eventually got separated. The sparks on their eyes which they had when they first met dwindled and lasted only for a couple of years. Their hearts which were once on fire, ended up cold and apathetic. They used to kiss and embrace each other. Saying “I love you” had become their morning ritual and evening lullaby for years. People would consider them as a perfect couple for the love they showed to each other. What happened? What’s wrong?

They did not know each other’s love language. No matter how much love one has for the other, and no matter how often one expresses it, it would still be nothing if one does not know the other’s love language. Love is not merely a feeling that fades. It is a language that needs to be learned, communicated and recognized. There are 5 languages in human relationship. Please refer to my previous post about this. I will be explaining each language and how to express each well in my succeeding posts.

How do you know your own (or your partner’s) love language? These are three things that you need to observe and study to know your own love language.

First, observe how you express more often your love to your partner. What are you fond of doing for your partner? This is the manner you express your love. You do it naturally and spontaneously, without being told and taught because this is who you are. This is how your love tank is built for. (I will explain what love tank is in my next posts) It is part of your system, and so you don’t have to think and decide when you do it. It comes out spontaneously. Have you caught yourself hugging your partner without any reason at all? Or giving your partner gifts even though there are no occasions and special events?
Second, notice what you complain about the most. You complain about it always because it is something you want to be appropriately addressed. You always perceive and talk about it, and not ignore it, because it matters to you. Do you and your partner always fight because he/she is always busy with a lot of things, and so having no time to spend together? Do you always complain about your partner not remembering your birthday and anniversary?
Lastly, know what you always ask/request from your partner. You most often ask for it because it will bring you joy and satisfaction. No matter how petty and small it is, you would fight for it, just to have it. It’s the way you want to be loved by your partner. The quantity, amount and frequency may not be counted and may not matter as long as love is expressed in the manner you want to be loved. Have you noticed your partner wondering why you’re crazy about a cheap chocolate being given to him/her on special occasion? Is your partner perplexed why you love to be with him/her for hours, doing nothing and talking about nothing?
Now, you know your love language, it’s time to know your partner’s love language. In my next post, I will be sharing with you a quiz/survey you have to take, or let your partner take to know your or his love language.
I recommend that you read this book to know more how you can deepen, strengthen and save your relationship. This has helped thousands of people. Buy this at affordable price. Click on the link and invest in your relationship.

My friend wanted to get out of an unhappy and abusive marriage. Unfortunately for her, she was in a foreign country, away from her family, and didn’t have proper information about the laws of the place. She turned to a woman’s organization, run by other women from her country, for help and she was turned down on the excuse that they can help only if her life were in danger. But, the only help they did provide her was the contact details of some attorneys, who fought similar cases. So, she spoke to a few of the attorneys and hired the least expensive one, because her ex-husband had emptied out her bank account. The only thing that was in her favor was the fact that she had a job and had some source of income to survive and rely on.  After grappling through a few months of divorce and custody battle with her ex-husband, she gained her freedom. That was the turning point of her life. She found meaning and purpose in her pain – She decided to empower other women in her situation, with information and lessons learnt from her experience.

She collected information about stuff from marriage counseling to divorce laws, so she could advice and help others with the information. With all the information gained, she has been helping other women in similar situation, by referring them to relevant people and giving them advice on how to proceed. While understanding that each situation is different, she has tried to balance her emotions and give only objective suggestions.

Struggling through divorce battles or suffering the loss of/separation from loved one are painful situations. Pain is far from being pleasant, but thriving through and finding meaning in pain gives us the inner strength, to go on, be a better person and release encumbrances. When you find meaning in your pain you can turn it into gain.

Use your lessons from the pain and try to help others. Ask yourself this, “What can I gain from this pain that will be lessons learnt for others?” Get involved in helping others. Find meaningful ways to say goodbye to the pain.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche