How To Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort.  It is not a set and forget arrangement.  To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.

Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship.  To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage.  You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail?  If not, is it better that way?

Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way.  There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process.  Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.

In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?”  You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING.  If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!

Marriages seem full of decisions.  There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live.  A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making.  It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.

I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on.  There are generally about 5 of these.  Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.

I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance.  Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.

Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing.  It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: find a loving relationship, happiness, love yourself, loving relationship, marriage, Nurture a Positive Relationship, positive attitude, respect, self respect

How to Feel Self Esteem and Self Respect

How’s your self esteem or your self respect?
Do you feel confidence and love yourself for who you are?

What about others? how do they see you? how do you think they see you? Do you want to get the respect of others – in the office, on the street, and in your community?

In case you didnt know it all starts with you and how you feel about yourself. The funny thing is that getting respect is an internal process that could be expressed outside, but starts from inside for sure.

If you want to get others’ respect you have to gain self respect too.

So what is Self Respect or Self Esteem?

Its a lot of thing all rolled in to one, consider it a mixture of the following things……and learn about yourself and what you think in the following areas…..

Be Honest With Yourself

Lie to others if you wish, but never lie to yourself. Be honest about what you want to do, who you want to be with, where you want to go, etc. Learn to listen to yourself. Do not listen to your fears or others. Listen to yourself and follow your Guiding Light.

Respect Your Body

Your body is your only vehicle in the Land of Life. Take care of it. Feed it with good food. Keep it clean and fully functional. Train it and improve it’s abilities. A better body will be your trip on the Earth.

Respect Your Emotions

Know what you feel and let yourself feel it 100 per cent! Do not suppress your feelings. Express them instead. They are like a turbulent river and nothing could keep them inside you. They will find their way out.

Respect Your Mind

Your mind is your most precious weapon. Take care of it. Fill it with thoughts about the solutions, not about the problems. You can use it to win and conquer the world. Or you can use it to kill yourself. It’s up to you!

Respect Your Opinion

Your opinion is not less valuable than the opinions of others. Know your opinion and respect the fact that you have it. Express it and don’t be shy. It is yours and is valuable enough to be expressed and to be respected by others.

Respect Your Skills

Your set of skills is unique. Why? Because you are unique your life is unique. So you can be proud of your skills. Improve them and use them. Do your best and follow the road to perfection.

More ways to find Self Esteem…

Respect Your Talents

You are born with a purpose, believe me! And your Creator has given you all the talents and gifts you need in order to complete your mission here.

So, know your talents, work on them, improve them, and use the knowledge about them to find and fulfill your mission. This is the only way to feel a complete and satisfied life.

Know Your Success Stories

Know your ups, your successes. Know and remember clearly when you’ve won and what your reward was. Think about these successes and write them down. Do not forget them. They will motivate you and will protect you from failure in the future.

Know Your Failures

Know them in order and learn from them. Learn the lessons; improve your skills, performance, abilities, etc. Then forget those failures as they cannot help you any more.

Know Your Goals

If you know what your direction is, you will be able to find a way, or many ways to get there. If you know where you are going you will find the road to lead you there.

Know Where You Are On The Road To Success

It is not enough to know your goal. You need to know where you are on the road to your goal.

How far is it? Are you on the right road? Always know your position in relation to your goal. If you are not on the right road then change it! If you are close, work harder to get even closer. If you are still far away keep working even harder.

Know Your Promises and Keep Your Word

In the old days keeping your word had been a matter of honor. Nowadays we have forgotten this. Remember it!

Promise hard and never break your promises! Never! Know very well what have you promised and keep your word. Do this for the promises to yourself as well.

Getting the respect of others starts with your own self respect. When you respect yourself, others will respect you too. Otherwise you have got nothing.

At the end of the day it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks – it matters what you think and how you feel. If you don’t have a positive self esteem, you will find yourself miserable!

Where as if you take the time to really take stock in all your glory, and allow yourself to get to know the real you and enjoy your own company – your self respect and confidence, self esteem and happiness will soar!

Tags: confidence, respect, self esteem, self respect