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Many adult women of today where told by their parents, when they were little girls, to be nice, quiet, obedient and not to complain. They wanted to be good in order not to upset mommy and daddy, so they did what they were told. They obeyed and when there was something they didn’t like, they kept it to themselves.

 These little girls grew up and today they are thirty, forty, fifty. They are experienced, self-confident and educated. But even today they are subconsciously afraid of admitting that something is wrong. They fear that their partner will blame them for creating problems, get upset and eventually stop loving them. However, being tight-lipped is one of the most destructive relationship mistakes. And if you don’t dare to talk about what bothers you and to express your wishes, you’re not being a good girl at all. On the contrary.

We all know that communication is the key to a happy relationship. Usually, women are considered more communicative, while men tend to find it more difficult to open up, show their emotions and discuss relationship issues.

However, there is one communication area in which we, women, often do not excel. Many of us have problems telling the truth when something is wrong and expressing exactly what we want. Instead, we expect men to see what’s wrong and to guess what we want. The bad news is that men are no mind readers and most of the time they believe what we tell them.

Let’s have a look at this typical example: Your partner asks you if you’re okay. You say that you are. He’s happy and goes about his day. But in reality, you’re not okay. Maybe you had a bad day at work, maybe you’re sad, maybe you have a headache, maybe he said something or did something annoying. However, you don’t say a word because you expect him to know, to see it, to feel it. He would, if he really loved you, right? So you get frustrated and furious. He doesn’t understand why you’re snapping at him, and he says you’re hysterical. It makes you even more furious because you’re angry for a reason. He still doesn’t understand. You end up fighting for nothing. Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s quite possible that your mum or your best friend really see when something is wrong and don’t leave you alone until you tell them. However, most men are much more straightforward and a bit less empathetic than women, and when you say you’re fine, they take your word for it.

So my advice is: Speak up and tell your partner how you feel and what you think. Believe me, he can take it. Actually, he’ll be happy to listen, advice and help, or just to hug you and support you.

The same rule applies to relationship issues. Maybe something he does (or did) has been bugging you for some time. Maybe you would like to spend more time together or do different things. Maybe his habits are ticking you off. He can’t know it unless you tell him, and such little “secrets” have ruined many good relationships. The tension keeps building up, you’re not happy, he can see that but he doesn’t understand why. It leads to unnecessary fights and even to break-ups.

Your partner wants your relationship to work, just like you do. He wants to be happy, just like you want him to be happy. And he wants to know what’s going on in your head, just like you want to know what’s going on in his. Talking about things that bother you and about those that you want or long for should become a natural part of your relationship. So start today. Tell your partner you want to discuss something over a good meal on Friday night and believe me, he’ll be ready to listen. Don’t accuse each other and don’t complain, just talk about things that you would like to change. Stop keeping your worries to yourself. You’re in this together, it’s your relationship and you love each other, so be honest and open. And remember, hints are useless and they don’t work, so don’t expect your partner to read between the lines. You will see that straightforwardness is something that men deeply appreciate.

 Written by Barbora Knobova.

Is your relationship draining you? How to avoid it……..

I am sure it is easy for all of us to stay in a negative relationship, one which started out perfect,then, started to change almost overnight. There comes a time where you have to decide whether or not the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices. When you are feeling unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be too optimistic about getting yourself back out there. It is not easy to open yourself up to new opportunities, but it is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness we all seek.

The most beneficial thing you can do is to educate yourself to the point that you know what to look for and what to avoid. This is not by any means a fail-proof plan, but by applying certain strategies, you stand to increase your chances of finding a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert.

Try taking these steps to avoid negative relationships:

Step 1

Avoid going back to the wrong person. When you’re feeling particularly lonely, it is hard to fight the urge to fall back on someone that you feel comfortable with even though you know they not right for you. Your head tells you that this person is not “the one” and yet your heart tells you to go crawling back anyway, convincing you they can change. Chances are, they won’t.

Step 2

You need to spend time getting to know your partner well. Focus on getting to know your partner first before it becomes a more serious relationship. You need to try the in depth conversations close to the start of the relationship. This gives you the scope to decide to work through it or move on quickly, if there are any nagging doubts.

1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert.

Step 3

Get an insight into your partner’s history. Did you find any disturbing events in his or her past? You need to move on quickly from people who have a history of violence or intense form of addiction. If you have this knowledge and you choose to pursue the relationship, you must set ground rules and proceed with caution.

Step 4

Manipulative people are best avoided. It is not easy to realize it at first, but being manipulated often can be seriously draining on your relationship. If your partner is controlling, and their motives seem to be selfish, it is not the most pleasant relationship to be in. You must recognize the behavior and move on before becoming attached to this type of person. Recognize these red flags!

Step 5

It is important to prepare a list of the qualities you desire in a partner. By including the qualities you like and also dislike, will make it easier to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

1000 Questions For Couples By Michael Webb Relationship Expert.

Here’s a tip:

Superficial things such as looks, are best avoided, because these types of things will likely change with age. You need to be attracted to their personality, genuinely liking them as a person. Just pure human nature tells us relationships are difficult to maintain. We shouldn’t base our future hopes on the fact that many relationships just come to an end. The world is full of people that will be a perfect match, have faith. It is important to avoid relationships that drain our energy and destroy our soul.

Remember:

We all have a right to make choices. Focus yourself, walk the path to finding the right partner for you and then take the steps to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

Love & Passion Relationship Program

A really great Relationship Program by Anthony Robbins, for anyone wanting to improve their existing relationship or to find that special partner!  This program provides you with the tools you need to attract and sustain a passionate, loving relationship.  Find more information at the Anthony Robbins website.

By MaryAnn Roche.

7 Ways to a Happy & Stress Free Home

If what I am about to explain sounds like a typical evening at your place, then read on. The baby is on your hip, whilst you hurriedly put the Take Away out for dinner, the cat is throwing up on the bathroom mat, the hubby’s feet are up and TV on full-blast, and your teenager just angrily slammed his bedroom door because his washing is still on the line….

Sadly, this is not an exclusive club. However, the good news is that we don’t necessarily have to live this way. There are, in fact, things you can do to ease this stress and create a more harmonious home life so that you and your family can look forward to and enjoy being all home together.

A certain degree of stress is inherent as you deal with the varying phases of your precious-yes they are precious, family members. You must strive to uphold a core set of values and go with the flow to a degree. This ensures you can maintain a happy and healthy home.

There are some specific ways though that you can reduce stress, in turn creating harmony at home:

1. Be organized. Life can quickly become chaotic when you do not maintain organization. An organized home just flows, but disorganization will be full of ebbs and very little flow.

* A good tip is to start small, trying to organize the whole house at once becomes overwhelmingly difficult to achieve. Start small, one room at a time, and see how pleasing the task becomes.

2. Communicate. Your family will find it extremely beneficial to be actively working on communication skills. When you fail to do this effectively, you may not get what you want and may even lead to upsetting misunderstandings. Working on communication skills will in turn, allow all family members to feel loved and appreciated, create harmony and allow the household to run efficiently.

3. Always have your evening meal together. Everyone in your family likely has a full agenda of their own. You may even start to realize that you have no idea what’s going on with your spouse or child. When you make the time to have dinner together, you really start to relax and open up to each other, despite all having a busy lifestyle.

4. Enjoy each other’s company. It is important to schedule time to have fun together as a family, even starting with one night a week. This will take some advance planning, choosing an activity. You need to allow each family member a chance to pick an activity to their liking.

5. Show unconditional love, fill each other’s cup of love to the brim! Be sure to encourage unconditional love with your family. This leads to secure attachments and will in turn keep all of your family happy and stress-free.

* We all need to know that, when we make mistakes,which we all do at times,we have a loving family who will back us up and forgive us, no matter what.

6. Show support and go out of your way for your family members. It might not be your idea on a Friday night to go to your daughter’s ballet concert but just think of how she will feel when she sees your smiling face, knowing that she has your love and support. Express your love and support by really being there , no matter what or how difficult it seems. They can not read your mind, so just thinking about how much you love them is not enough!

7.Every family needs rules. Having a set of family rules will help with keeping organization, letting everyone know what is expected of them to create harmony for all.

* You will need to plan a family meeting to establish the house rules. Let everyone have a chance to participate and share his or her concerns. You will more than likely find a compromise that allows everyone a chance to feel happy and satisfied.

A home that is built on love will be happy and stress free. Don’t be too hard on yourself and others, and you will have the foundations for creating an excellent home life.

By MaryAnn Roche.

How To Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort.  It is not a set and forget arrangement.  To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.

Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship.  To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage.  You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail?  If not, is it better that way?

Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way.  There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process.  Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.

In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?”  You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING.  If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!

Marriages seem full of decisions.  There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live.  A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making.  It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.

I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on.  There are generally about 5 of these.  Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.

I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance.  Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.

Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing.  It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.

By MaryAnn Roche.

How You Can Command the Respect of Others

Do you ever get the feeling that your first name should be Doormat?
Would you like to be able to command the respect of others?
Do you feel as if people take advantage of you on a daily basis? Are you allowing this to happen?

Learn about You and Get What You Need – Click Here!
If you responded yes to one or all of these important questions, it’s obvious that you don’t have the respect of others, but that’s why you’re here to learn!

Respect is something you earn. However, no one deserves to be taken advantage of. Fortunately, it’s possible to change how others treat you!

Implement these simple tips and tricks and you’ll command the respect of others you deserve in no time:

1. Live by the Golden Rule.

Most of us are familiar with the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would want done to you” is a wonderful philosophy when attempting to garner respect. Always treat others as you expect to be treated. People will tend to reciprocate and treat you the same way. If they don’t, then you can ease your way out of the relationships over time, if possible.

2. Put yourself first.

An example of this would be telling your friend that you cannot babysit her 4-year old so she can get her nails done because you’re busy with your own personal appointments and schedule.

Find the Real You, Meet Your Higher Self – Click Here!

* You have to make yourself a priority. If people see that you respect yourself, then you’ll ultimately be respected, too.

3. Use strong body language.

When speaking face to face with others, portray the fact that you’re strong and important. Stand straight, look people in the eye, and speak forcefully but not overwhelmingly so.

* If your body language shouts, “I am important and I respect myself,” you’ll surely gain the respect of others.

* Those people who stare at the floor when speaking, avoid eye contact, and whisper their words are telling others that they don’t believe they deserve respect and attention. Always remember to stand tall and proud; you’re important and you deserve to be recognized!

4. Speak positively.

In addition to having strong body language, the words you use to express yourself are also extremely important when trying to earn the respect of others. Learn to speak in positively and authoritatively. Don’t be boastful, but don’t demean or belittle yourself either.

* Leave the impression that you’re intelligent, well spoken and confident. If you portray yourself in this manner others will treat you the same way.

5. Surround yourself with the right people.

Let’s face it: there are people in this world who are disrespectful to everyone and everything. No matter what you do to command respect, nothing may work!
Learn about You and Get What You Need – Click Here!

* You may need to take some time and rethink those you’re spending time with. They may not be the kind of people who have your best interests at heart.

6. Stand up for yourself.

If people are disrespectful to you, how do you respond? Do you say something to the offending person or do you just go on with life? People treat us in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

* If you confront the person and voice your opinion and unhappiness, chances are good that person won’t treat you that same way in the future. It’s not about being confrontational, but a simple “I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to me” can go a long way.

Final thoughts on getting the Respect you Deserve

We all have a desire and need for respect. By making some small changes, you’ll be able to open yourself to receiving the respect of others, while learning how to also express your respect. Use these techniques in all interactions every day to command the respect of others and gain the respect you deserve.

By MaryAnn Roche.