I was going through a period of extreme stress and duress until a vacation with friends came along. My friends and I had been planning the vacation for some time and it took us a long time to put all the logistics in place. When it finally happened we all had a wonderful and memorable time. I came back feeling like “My life hit the refresh button”. It was that much needed vacation and the timing couldn’t have been better. The merits of taking a break dawned on me then. I am completely conscious of and acknowledge the fact that a break doesn’t make the stress go away from our lives; it only refreshes us and renews our energy to face life’s challenges.
Here are a few ways to take that break; I know some sound like common sense things, but sometimes we are so engulfed in our problems that we can’t think of these simple things, a little nudge in that direction might be needed:
1)    Plan the trip well. A well planned out trip reduces the hassles of figuring out where to stay, what to do and how to get to the place. For eg. If the place is famous for shows, then make reservations for the show you want to watch in advance. That way you will not be scrambling for tickets to the show and wondering if you will even be able to go for the show. No one wants to go through anxiety during a vacation.
2)    Do your research of the place you are visiting so that you know what to expect and what you can and can’t miss. This is inter-related to planning the trip. Knowing what the place has to offer will empower you in planning better and choosing options that are favorable for you.
3)    If you are on a budget, look for sites/books offering coupons. You never know what you might find. You can spend sensibly and still have a luxurious vacation if you plan and research properly.
4)    Leave all your worries behind. Don’t carry the burden of all your troubles and hinder yourself from having a good time.
5)    If possible plan your trip with close friends. A vacation with friends makes it more memorable. Sometimes it’s the company that makes a place more enjoyable.
There may be a lot of hurdles in the way to take a vacation, but if we can cross all these the vacation will be well worth it. We all deserve some time to enjoy the beautiful places the world has to offer. Go ahead and make your life hit the refresh button.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: relaxation, vacation

7 Anger Management  Exercises to Help you Remain Calm

Mastering anger management is about being in charge of your emotions and taking the time to stop and think prior to speaking out. If you fail to control your anger you may very well destroy important relationships with those around you leading possibly to physical and certainly emotional damage and you will undoubtedly, harm yourself in the process.

Before looking at 7 Anger management exercises lets take a look at anger and what is represents.  Always reported to be a “bad” or “wrong” emotion we need to understand that anger does in fact serve a purpose, and is there to tell us that something is really wrong. Anger really is a failure to express one’s emotions in an appropriate and productive manner and outlined below are some anger management exercises designed to help you keep a cool head.

1. Don’t React. Take the time to think about any previous situations that have gotten you into trouble in the past. At the time you probably reacted immediately to the issue in an angry manner.  Remember that whenever you are presented with a situation that is stressful to you, do not react.  Stop and think through what is really happening, decide how you feel about it and then decide how you are going to act.

2. Breathe. If you are in a situation where you have let your emotions gain control and you are feeling extremely angry, then take the time to stop and breathe, slow breaths in and out until you are able to regain control and get back into this mindset of emotional control.

Try this “at home” study course – “Regaining Control of Your Anger“.

3. Don’t Worry quite so much about other people. Sometimes we get very caught up in how other people perceive us and what opinion they have of us. When this happens and we try to please everyone and make everyone happy, we tend to forget about ourselves which can in turn leave us feeling angry and resentful.

4. Include Exercise in your Life. A consistent and regular exercise routine can help you to release pent up emotions and frustrations. If you feel anger welling up inside, you can always take yourself for a walk or a run, or a game of golf, anything that is an avenue for releasing that anger in a healthy way.

5. Never Hold a Grudge. Holding a grudge against someone, even it is truly warranted, only ends up hurting you at the end of the day.  Try to practice the art of forgiving and forgetting. In some instances this may be very difficult to do, but will actually bring peace into your life.

6. Learn the Art of Relaxation. If you are tired and stressed, anger has a tendency to arise more often. Relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga, soaking in a bath, deep breathing exercises, listening to music – are all strategies to help you to relax.

Pick up your copy of Deep Zen Meditation CD here..and begin learning the art of relaxation.

7. Learn How to Appropriately Express your Anger. When you feel anger, the trick is to try to identify why you are feeling it, what does it really mean?  Then you must quickly try to express this anger appropriately, causing minimal damage to yourself and to others. Remember suppressing your anger is not the answer, and this could over time, make things much worse and can lead to issues with depression and more.

I find that generally speaking, when I’m angry its more to do with fear than anything else.  So next time you feel angry STOP and try to identify with what the real issue is.

Children and Anger

I am sure we all from time to time have watched in horror at the degree to which our children young and old can display their anger.  I know my own children could get extremely angry and upset and throw tantrums when they were little.  It is very difficult to try to talk to and reason with a very young child and we have to rely upon their body language to try and assess the situation and determine what is causing the leve of anger they are experiencing.  Really easy to do isn’t it when you have a 2 year old SCREAMING THE HOUSE DOWN!

Likewise the same can be said of teenagers and young adults.  It is often very difficult to determine what is causing their anger and it could be any one of a thousand things.

The most important thing though is to teach our children appropriateness in terms of expressing their anger.  Yes it is perfectly normal healthy to experience anger as an emotion however it is not acceptable if that anger involves inflicting physical or emotional pain on another.

A really good resource that you can listen to in the comfort of your own home is a 75-minute audio recording by Parenting Expert Toni Schutta where she talks about the typical anger triggers for children, calming techniques to use and really understanding what anger is all about.  I would recommend you give it a try – “Children’s Anger: Triggers and Solutions for Coping.”-grab your copy here.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: Anger, anger exercises, anger management, fear, Meditation, relaxation, relaxation techniques, yoga