Should I Stay Or Should I Go………….

For those of you who are the same vintage as I am, you would remember this as a very popular song title. It may bring back some very different memories of a time when things seemed much simpler and life was generally pretty easy. Our youthful memories, should be filled with heady romances and first kisses. Sadly though, we form habits in relationships, that are hard to break, or routines that are hard to put behind us.

We all at around the age of twenty to twenty five start to mature and partners or relationships that once we thought were sweet and tender, suddenly become manipulative and controlling. We can feel this happening but tend to keep telling ourselves that our partner is tired, stressed or even worse, we are doing things to make them unhappy and insecure. Mind you, this behavior is not age restrictive. I have to say that I know many people in their 40′s, 50′s even 60′s who are still repeating this pattern, over and over again. This type of relationship is very hard to walk away from, especially if you have a soft easy going nature, or have self esteem issues. You start to think that this is what you deserve. WRONG!

Rarely do you see strong confident types of people caught up in relationships they are not enjoying, they have the strength and self confidence to make a life for themselves, with or without a partner. If you ever find yourself in a situation where everyone around you can see these signs and they are prepared to put themselves in a vulnerable position by addressing it with you, be rest assured this comes from a place of love. Nobody wants to sabotage your happiness, least of all those who love you.

Naturally, everyone one will come across someone they think is unsuitable for their friend, daughter, son, parent, BUT if this is the majority and not the minority then we really need to take stock, listen and find the strength to move on. The old adage that “Life is too Short” is very true indeed.

Each new day is a gift and not a given.

Naturally, every aspect of our lives cannot possibly be perfect, but the person we choose to be ‘The One’, should make our heart skip a beat, make the room light up when they smile. Life offers us no guarantees, so we need to be as certain, as we can be of the person we choose to be our lover and our friend. God created something wonderful and unique, YOU!. You would not buy a BMW for your worst neighbour, so don’t give the greatest asset you have to someone undeserving.

Walking away from something that isn’t working takes an awful lot of inner strength and it is so much easier to stay and keep the peace, your partners peace, not yours long term. Find the inner strength, combine it with the love and support from family and friends and you will soon be on your way to a happier, healthier life, with or without a partner.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Love Pain? Relationship Advice for You

Do you need some relationship advice? Are you or have you endured love pain that you just cant seem to get past?

It seems the ones we love the most are the same ones who get past our defences and are able to hurt us the most, true?

Why? because we care! we care what they think, what they say etc so we let them in close to us and then all of a sudden we can experience total and utter devastation

Have you ever been hurt so badly that you thought you’d never come out on the other side? Perhaps you’re still holding onto that grief. If you are, then it’s time to learn how to let go of past love pain or any other type of relationship torment. You deserve to let it go and learn how to move forward with your life.

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How can something you’ve kept inside for so long just be let go? It’s not an easy task, but it can be done with a little effort and self-reflection.

Please take this relationship advice….Holding onto past pain and anguish is a kind of self-inflicted torture that can cause serious health risks as well as emotional scarring. The truth is, when you cling to the past, you’re internally changing your present.

Great Relationship Advice….Losing Your Love Pain

1. Talk it out.

If the person who caused the hurt is still in your life, talk to them about the way they made you feel. If that person isn’t available, try to talk to a close friend or professional therapist about the situation.

* Getting your emotions out in the open can help you get over any resentment or anger you may be feeling. Bottling up your emotions is never a good thing. Let it all out in a constructive way and you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel.

2. Make the first move.

You’re in charge of your pain. You’re the one who carries it around with you and you’re the only one who can change its intensity. It’s up to you to take control of the pain and take the first step towards making yourself feel better.

* Confront the cause of the pain and do everything in your power to get rid of it.

* Acknowledge that your pain is real and that a positive solution exists.

3. Know what’s holding you back.

What are you holding onto and why? Identify the things you’re keeping inside that you shouldn’t be.

* They may not even be aware they did anything to upset you. Whether or not they apologize isn’t important. While it may be nice, you can’t control others or force them to say sorry. However, by simply voicing your feelings, you are finding closure from the hurtful situation.

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* Getting closure on something that was left open-ended can make a huge difference in letting things go.

* For example, maybe your best friend betrayed you in a way that broke your trust. Recognize this and figure out a way to finally deal with it. Get in touch with them again, then explain the pain they’ve caused.

4. Forgive and forget.

It may sound easier said than done, but forgiving someone who has hurt you can be extremely therapeutic. Strive to let things stay in the past and don’t allow them to affect your present. * Once you learn to forgive the people who’ve caused your pain, you will find it far easier to heal and move on with your life.

Make the conscious decision, today, to live your life free from pain and resentment.

Love Pain needs to be put in the past!

The best way to move forward is to forgive the past. If you can’t change the past, you might as well learn to accept it and move on. You’ll be glad you did once you see just how bright your future can be when you regain control of your life.

If you are suffering more than this relationship advice can help, please seek out someone to talk things over with. Maybe a professional is what you need – what ever you do – dont live on with love pain!