For those of you who are the same vintage as I am, you would remember this as a very popular song title. It may bring back some very different memories of a time when things seemed much simpler and life was generally pretty easy. Our youthful memories, should be filled with heady romances and first kisses. Sadly though, we form habits in relationships, that are hard to break, or routines that are hard to put behind us.

We all at around the age of twenty to twenty five start to mature and partners or relationships that once we thought were sweet and tender, suddenly become manipulative and controlling. We can feel this happening but tend to keep telling ourselves that our partner is tired, stressed or even worse, we are doing things to make them unhappy and insecure. Mind you, this behavior is not age restrictive. I have to say that I know many people in their 40′s, 50′s even 60′s who are still repeating this pattern, over and over again. This type of relationship is very hard to walk away from, especially if you have a soft easy going nature, or have self esteem issues. You start to think that this is what you deserve. WRONG!

Rarely do you see strong confident types of people caught up in relationships they are not enjoying, they have the strength and self confidence to make a life for themselves, with or without a partner. If you ever find yourself in a situation where everyone around you can see these signs and they are prepared to put themselves in a vulnerable position by addressing it with you, be rest assured this comes from a place of love. Nobody wants to sabotage your happiness, least of all those who love you.

Naturally, everyone one will come across someone they think is unsuitable for their friend, daughter, son, parent, BUT if this is the majority and not the minority then we really need to take stock, listen and find the strength to move on. The old adage that “Life is too Short” is very true indeed.

Each new day is a gift and not a given.

Naturally, every aspect of our lives cannot possibly be perfect, but the person we choose to be ‘The One’, should make our heart skip a beat, make the room light up when they smile. Life offers us no guarantees, so we need to be as certain, as we can be of the person we choose to be our lover and our friend. God created something wonderful and unique, YOU!. You would not buy a BMW for your worst neighbour, so don’t give the greatest asset you have to someone undeserving.

Walking away from something that isn’t working takes an awful lot of inner strength and it is so much easier to stay and keep the peace, your partners peace, not yours long term. Find the inner strength, combine it with the love and support from family and friends and you will soon be on your way to a happier, healthier life, with or without a partner.

By MaryAnn Roche.

I am sure at some stage or another in our many relationships that mould us into the person we are today, we have at some point suffered feelings of doubt and insecurity. Unfortunately, this can wreak havoc not only on your intimate relationships, but our whole world in general. There are so many different things that influence us into believing we are “Not Good Enough”. If only we all realized how full of worth and beauty each and every one of us are.

I think the best way to explain this is to give you some real insight into someone who has repeated this pattern over and over, throughout their whole life.

Boys and relationships start earlier for some people and later for others, but our pattern of feelings and actions start from the very beginning. Bearing in mind, the early partners we choose, and the way they treat us can lead us into a lifetime pattern, of insecurity and self doubt. Other times I think it is something in our make-up that we can only strive to conquer and improve.

I started my very first long term serious relationship at the tender age of 15, and it lasted until just before my 19^th birthday. I remember from the start being very needy and seeking constant reassurance. He was very devoted, spoilt me and paid me so much attention, so why did I still feel like I wasn’t good enough, that every girl that walked past was better. Why did I always think there was something better out there for me but yet try so hard to have his approval. I was so sure when we dined out or went to public places that people were thinking I looked silly and wasn’t cool enough to be there. I am still working on conquering these feelings today. It would turn out to be something I repeated in most of my intimate relationships.

I married at 20, happy but not quite as in love as I knew I should be, but once again tried to make sure I looked perfect all the time so he couldn’t possibly desire anyone else. I had felt from an early age that I would be “Left on the Shelf”, so in all reality I had everything I had thought I had wanted. A man totally devoted to me, so why did I always think I wasn’t good enough. My marriage ended when I was 39, again I found myself searching for that elusive relationship I was sure I could find.

Insecurity comes and rears it’s ugly head, no matter how perfect you think you are being, and you find yourself wondering how you can make this person want you more than life itself. You can throw yourself into their life to a point where you feel you are indispensible to this person. Insecurity drove me to do things that I would be appalled at if my daughter was doing them. I cooked meals and delivered them, picked up children and baby-sat, formed relationships with family members carefully placing myself at the centre of his world. How could he live without me, I was charming, witty, attractive, yet so desperately seeking approval. Unfortunately this type of behavior eventually drives a person away, in turn achieving the exact opposite of what we so desperately desire. A person who is strong, confident and independent is so much more attractive to other person, which in turn leads to the very thing we are striving for. But how do we find this? What can we do to get to this point…….It takes time and hard work to find that true inner strength, which believe me is in all of us.

I look back now and see all the wonderful promise I had, but never believed in. When I found myself alone, for the first time since I was fourteen, I was devastated and was sure I couldn’t go on. A very dear Uncle of mine said to me at the time-What don’t you get Lisa-You are the catch now, you have your own home, a great job, nice car and are great company. I smiled and agreed, but inside was that nagging insecurity again. It was only eight years ago that these words were spoken to me, and to this day I wished I had the strength back then to believe I was worthy of a great relationship. You can have so much if you can fight your way out of your inner most self doubt.

Today I know that I am a ‘Catch’ and that I will find that true happy relationship. I urge all of you to fight back against these awful feelings of doubt after all, we, each and every one of us has something to offer the world that is truly unique and beautiful…….Ourselves!

By MaryAnn Roche

Are you enjoying a wonderful, loving and positive relationship?
Have you been striving to attain a positive relationship with your partner and help it grow stronger?

Having a positive relationship takes effort from both of you, but you can get it started. Your partner will surely enjoy the benefits and follow your lead.

A positive relationship can be one of the most wonderful things in the world, while a negative one can turn your life into a disaster!

Here are my five top strategies you can use to nurture your relationship:
Top Tip #1,
Give 100%. First and foremost, if you want to build a relationship that’s positive, passionate, and withstanding, you need to give 100% of yourself. This is one of the most important things for success, not only in your relationships, but life in general.

* Remember the golden rule. When you fully give of yourself, the other person will see the effort you’re making and soon begin to reciprocate with the same type of behavior.

* There’s no “50/50″ when it comes to giving in a relationship. You’ve got to give freely of yourself if it’s going to work. It’s almost impossible to receive from your partner if you don’t give.

Top Tip #2,
Respect your partner. Always respect your partner in every way to build a lasting and positive relationship with them. Respect is an important building block of any relationship.

* Respect your partner not only in a physical sense, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

Top Tip #3,
Build a strong friendship. Your romantic relationship needs to have the stability and deep roots that come from a strong friendship. With a meaningful friendship as its basis, your connection becomes stronger and more lasting.

If your goal is to create a stronger bond with your partner, take the time to think about what it is you’d like from your partner. Give those things to your partner, and you’ll almost always find the answers you seek about how to create a nurturing relationship.

* When you work hard to construct a strong friendship, you can be assured that your relationship is ready to weather whatever life may throw at you in the future.

Top Tip #4,
Use charitable acts. The things you do for your partner make a difference in your relationship. When you love someone, acts of kindness toward him or her come naturally.

* Remember, your actions are more important than your words, so use them to help build up a relationship that’s naturally positive.

* No action should be done just because you feel obligated to do it. The things you do for your partner should be done because you want to do them.


Top Tip #5,
Focus on loving your partner. In order to nurture a positive relationship, your main focus should be on simply loving your partner. Show your love in both your words and actions, in all you say and do.

* Be generous with compliments and mean what you say.

* The expression “actions speak louder than words,” is definitely true when it comes to a relationship. However, your partner still wants to hear you say, “I love you.”


If you can follow these five steps you will see a great improvement in any relationship! Once you begin taking care of your relationship and making a conscious effort to improve it, you’ll see a stronger, more positive bond flourishing before your eyes.

Having a great relationship is one of the best things in the world, so take my advice…it will have a positive impact on any relationship.

Even through tough times these top tips on how to nurture a positive relationship will help!