My friend wanted to get out of an unhappy and abusive marriage. Unfortunately for her, she was in a foreign country, away from her family, and didn’t have proper information about the laws of the place. She turned to a woman’s organization, run by other women from her country, for help and she was turned down on the excuse that they can help only if her life were in danger. But, the only help they did provide her was the contact details of some attorneys, who fought similar cases. So, she spoke to a few of the attorneys and hired the least expensive one, because her ex-husband had emptied out her bank account. The only thing that was in her favor was the fact that she had a job and had some source of income to survive and rely on.  After grappling through a few months of divorce and custody battle with her ex-husband, she gained her freedom. That was the turning point of her life. She found meaning and purpose in her pain – She decided to empower other women in her situation, with information and lessons learnt from her experience.

She collected information about stuff from marriage counseling to divorce laws, so she could advice and help others with the information. With all the information gained, she has been helping other women in similar situation, by referring them to relevant people and giving them advice on how to proceed. While understanding that each situation is different, she has tried to balance her emotions and give only objective suggestions.

Struggling through divorce battles or suffering the loss of/separation from loved one are painful situations. Pain is far from being pleasant, but thriving through and finding meaning in pain gives us the inner strength, to go on, be a better person and release encumbrances. When you find meaning in your pain you can turn it into gain.

Use your lessons from the pain and try to help others. Ask yourself this, “What can I gain from this pain that will be lessons learnt for others?” Get involved in helping others. Find meaningful ways to say goodbye to the pain.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche