Shyness or social phobia can be an unrewarding state we can all fall into at different times and stages of our lives and the condition can become worse if we do not recognise it and do something about it.

We all have to face different cicumstances and people and places as we journey through life and letting shyness or social phobia have too big an input will only lower your self esteem and affect your enjoyment of what could otherwise be a rewarding experience.

So we see shyness can occur at all stages of life but ones first experience of it can be when you are young. Todays youngsters on the whole are less liable to be shy than those of yesteryear but it can and does still occur.

What to do when first you become aware of it.

Resolve first of all to tackle the problem.

Then ascertain whether it is people or places that are the the problem. If people,you must resolve to make an effort to meet and greet them with politeness and friendliness.

Inquire after their health and try to find out what they are most interested in.

Most people being generally selfish are most interested in themselves and like to talk about themselves.

So be a good listener and try to be genuinely interested in their life story. Should your endeavours be rebuffed or ignored do not let it worry you because it will be the exception and if there is a gathering of people you will have no difficulty finding someone to converse with along the lines previously mentioned. 

Your self confidence and esteem will rise and your shyness will tend to evaporate. If you are shy about going to places and events your efforts to overcome this shyness will be  rewarded. Do not worry about any rudeness you may encounter because it will only show the perpetrater to be less a person than you and it should be used to bolster your confidence rather than undermine your self esteem.

 Should you feel shy and reluctant to go to places or events that you have not been to before once again you must summon the effort/resolve required and make yourself go.You will discver that it is not as bad as you feared and you can enjoy the surrondings and people and your shyness will be virtually overcome.

Overcoming shyness or social phobia takes time and to be honest a lot of practise.  Putting yourself out there when asked to attend a function or drinks after work, whatever it may be, will become easier the more often you do it.  Think about the people you may meet before you attend a particular function, what do these people have in common, perhaps pick one or two people to talk to that you recognize as talkers rather than listeners.  I am including a link to a great audio pack that can really help you understand your shyness and how it affects you socially, and teach you the strategies to overcome it and enjoy your life.  Purchase your copy of “Overoming Social Anxiety and Shyness “here.

By Michael Joseph Roche aged 87 years.

Tags: anxiety, overcoming anxiety, overcoming shyness, shyness