Love is a universal language. It is understood and expressed by anyone despite the differences in culture, condition, gender, age, status, language/dialect, beliefs and personality. Wherever you go and what the time/period is, love is in the air! We cannot but love. It’s the very reason for existence! It gives meaning, color and significance to life. What is life is you don’t have anyone to share it with!
Though love can be understood by anyone, in a relationship it needs to be expressed appropriately. This is the reason that we are encouraged to know our love language and our partner’s/friends’. It is a key to a healthy, deep and meaningful relationship. By the way, here is the love language test I promised you. Please click on the link, and take the test. Enjoy loving! Live LOVE and LOVE life!
Hi friend! I’ve heard of news of couples who used to be filled with love, and who passionately loved each other, but eventually got separated. The sparks on their eyes which they had when they first met dwindled and lasted only for a couple of years. Their hearts which were once on fire, ended up cold and apathetic. They used to kiss and embrace each other. Saying “I love you” had become their morning ritual and evening lullaby for years. People would consider them as a perfect couple for the love they showed to each other. What happened? What’s wrong?
They did not know each other’s love language. No matter how much love one has for the other, and no matter how often one expresses it, it would still be nothing if one does not know the other’s love language. Love is not merely a feeling that fades. It is a language that needs to be learned, communicated and recognized. There are 5 languages in human relationship. Please refer to my previous post about this. I will be explaining each language and how to express each well in my succeeding posts.
How do you know your own (or your partner’s) love language? These are three things that you need to observe and study to know your own love language.
First, observe how you express more often your love to your partner. What are you fond of doing for your partner? This is the manner you express your love. You do it naturally and spontaneously, without being told and taught because this is who you are. This is how your love tank is built for. (I will explain what love tank is in my next posts) It is part of your system, and so you don’t have to think and decide when you do it. It comes out spontaneously. Have you caught yourself hugging your partner without any reason at all? Or giving your partner gifts even though there are no occasions and special events?
Second, notice what you complain about the most. You complain about it always because it is something you want to be appropriately addressed. You always perceive and talk about it, and not ignore it, because it matters to you. Do you and your partner always fight because he/she is always busy with a lot of things, and so having no time to spend together? Do you always complain about your partner not remembering your birthday and anniversary? Lastly, know what you always ask/request from your partner. You most often ask for it because it will bring you joy and satisfaction. No matter how petty and small it is, you would fight for it, just to have it. It’s the way you want to be loved by your partner. The quantity, amount and frequency may not be counted and may not matter as long as love is expressed in the manner you want to be loved. Have you noticed your partner wondering why you’re crazy about a cheap chocolate being given to him/her on special occasion? Is your partner perplexed why you love to be with him/her for hours, doing nothing and talking about nothing?
Now, you know your love language, it’s time to know your partner’s love language. In my next post, I will be sharing with you a quiz/survey you have to take, or let your partner take to know your or his love language.
I recommend that you read this book to know more how you can deepen, strengthen and save your relationship. This has helped thousands of people. Buy this at affordable price. Click on the link and invest in your relationship.
Hi friend! How are you? I hope that you’re enjoying your life. I want to share something interesting and meaningful with you. But before that, let me ask some personal questions. Have you experienced problems in your relationship?
Have you encountered conflicts and misunderstanding in your marriage?
Are you about to give up on your partner?
Have you been accused of your friend or partner that you don’t love him/her?
Are you confused sometimes that no matter what you do to express your love to someone, it’s still not sufficient, not recognized, and not appreciated?
These questions will lead us to a great discussion on love and relationship. One of the reasons that there are broken relationships and marriages is that people have difficulty expressing their love to their partner, and their partner don’ feel, recognize and appreciate their love. Loving someone entails knowing the love language of one’s partner. No matter how one tries his best to love another person, this love will not be felt and recognized by the other if it is not expressed in his love language. Each person has his own love language. And we need to love the other not in the way we want to love him/her, but in the way he/she wants to be loved. This is what love language is all about. It is the form of love that one can easily understand and feel.
There are 5 love languages. A person may have one or more love languages, but one is dominant. Identify which your love language is. How do you want to be loved?
1. Touch
2. Words
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Time
If you really love your friend or partner, you will try to know his/her love language, and love him/her in the way he/she wants to be loved. We need to consider their needs, not ours. In this way, no love will go to waste, misunderstandings and conflicts will be resolved, relationship will be deepened and strengthened, and doubts and fears will be lessened. My friend, Speak Your Partner’s Love Language! Moreover, one way to know your own love language is checking how you express your love to others. The way we love others is also the way we want to be loved.
Watch our for my succeeding posts. I will be explaining more what love language is. Subscribe to my Newsletter and Feeds to be updated.
If you want to know more how to deepen and improve your relationships, I strongly recommend that you consult this resource. I will be posting more recommended resources in my next posts. Invest in your relationships. Reap the fruits of your investment in the future. Have a great and love-filled day!
Marriage is considered the sacred union and at the same time a complex relationship between two people. What keeps two people together or pulls them apart? There is no simple answer to that.
After going through a divorce I moved into a small apartment to start my life anew. While living there I made friends with my 70 year old neighbor. We bonded pretty well and would discuss about the ups and downs of our life. We seemed a pretty rare pair, as friends. Me in my 30s, and she in her 70s. But, what I learnt from her are the most precious life’s lessons, especially marriage.
I was talking to my 70 year old neighbor-friend about love and marriage. I was telling her how disappointed and disillusioned I felt about marriage after my divorce. I said to her “I don’t know what love is anymore. It’s like I have fallen out of falling in love and can never get married again. I gave my all to the relationship, yet it didn’t work! The word marriage scares me now. I don’t think I have any love left in me to give to anybody”.
To this she said, “I know how you feel. My husband and I have been together for more than 50 years, which is half a century! Yes, I know it sounds like a long time and it hasn’t always been rosy. We had our share of hiccups and have learnt to make our marriage work and have worked on it together. But you know, before him I was married to someone else for a year. I couldn’t bear to be in that horrible marriage and I got out of it. I felt exactly the same way back then until I met my husband. He helped me realize that one failure shouldn’t stop me from giving my all to the next. A marriage or love relationship can work when both partners work in tandem. It is a work in progress. You never stop working on it; each day you start your work afresh. There are ups and downs in every relationship and marriage is no exception. Get over the bad moments and cherish the good.”
The conversation was quite enlightening and encouraging for me. I realized that one unsuccessful relationship shouldn’t dishearten me from trying again. So with renewed interest I decided to pursue the prospect of marriage.
A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort. It is not a set and forget arrangement. To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.
Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship. To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage. You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail? If not, is it better that way?
Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way. There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process. Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.
In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?” You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING. If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!
Marriages seem full of decisions. There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live. A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making. It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.
I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on. There are generally about 5 of these. Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.
I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance. Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.
Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing. It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.
Lastly, know what you always ask/request from your partner. You most often ask for it because it will bring you joy and satisfaction. No matter how petty and small it is, you would fight for it, just to have it. It’s the way you want to be loved by your partner. The quantity, amount and frequency may not be counted and may not matter as long as love is expressed in the manner you want to be loved. Have you noticed your partner wondering why you’re crazy about a cheap chocolate being given to him/her on special occasion? Is your partner perplexed why you love to be with him/her for hours, doing nothing and talking about nothing?
Have you experienced problems in your relationship?
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