The advent of technology has made reaching out to people so easy and convenient that distances and boundaries have almost vanished. Despite this most people seem to be biased about long distance relationships being successful.

People in a long distance relationship should first overcome the hurdle of physical distance.  A person should get into a long distance relationship with the mindset that the distance will not be a hurdle and he/she will treat this relationship just the way they would a normal one, with a few adjustments here and there.

To make long distance relationship work people should set some ground rules and expectations. Rules will define how the relationship will be handled and expectations will define the emotional involvement aspect.  Rules around the communication channels used, frequency of communication, how often to meet, what activities to share, extent of involvement of each in the other’s lives, handling of disagreements, etc. Expectations of where the relationship is going or what each one wants out of the relationship and how each will contribute to helping the other reach their goals.

When people live in different locations then the mode and means of communication becomes very essential to how the relationship shapes up. People should try not to limit the relationship to just phone conversations or emails or chats, etc. Using a combination of the modes available will be more effective, especially for people living in different time zones.

Set a finite schedule for meeting so that each will have something to look forward to. Waiting for something to happen without knowing when is always frustrating. This doesn’t imply No Surprises. Surprising your long distance partner with a sudden visit is wonderful, but that shouldn’t preclude a schedule. While making a meeting schedule remember to take turns for travelling. Only one person doing the travelling is frustrating and will take a toll on the relationship. So be fair to each other by deciding when and who will do the travelling.

Having common activities that can be shared and done together will help keep people stay connected. People need to have something in common to do, as a way to overcome the distance. This could be playing a game together online, reading a book and talking about it, solving puzzles, etc. Get creative and come up with something interesting for both.

Involving in each other’s lives will help understand and relate to each other better. Accept that the even though each lives in different locations they will remain connected and involve the other in their goings on.

Getting to know a person better will inevitably include some disagreements. Arguing over the phone or email or chat will only make matters worse. Try to hold off the argument until you meet each other. If the matter can’t wait that long, try to not let anger drive the argument. Be careful with your choice of words and mellow down the tone.

While I would say that making any relationship work is completely dependent on the people involved, I also believe that if certain standards are set and followed then any relationship can bloom. Long distance relationships are no exception to following some guidelines to be successful. Make distance a factor in the relationship not a drawback.

By
Mary-Ann Roche.