Actions speak louder than words. Although my parents will not say it, I believe that this is their favorite motto. I seldom hear them saying “I love you.” But, I can truly feel that they love me through the things they are doing for me. First, let’s talk about my loving mom. Every time I visit her home, she always cooks and serves me my favorite dishes. Since I live in a separate home with my kids, I still miss the things that my mom is doing for us, her children. What my mom has been doing for our family is still fresh in my mind. Her day starts early. She used to cook our breakfast before we go to school. While we are taking our meal, she would prepare our school uniform and the bags we would bring to school. When we leave for school, she would wash the dishes and clean the entire house. At midmorning, she would cook lunch for my father and my younger siblings, then washes the dishes afterwards. In the afternoon, she would go to the grocery store to buy items and food that will be needed for the next day. Then, she prepares our appetizing dinner in the evening, and washes the dishes after dinner. She even manages to help us in our assignments and lessons in school. If there will still be time, she will wash the clothes, and iron them. She retires late at night. This has been her daily routine for many years. She never gets tired, bored and burned out. Why? It is a labor of love. Now, let’s talk about my responsible father. He is always there to help me. I can still remember him driving us to school every morning and fetching us in the afternoon when my siblings and I were still studying. My dad is just a call away. When my car got towed, he rushed to the place few minutes after I had called him. When my kid got locked up in the bedroom, he came to the rescue. During my first year of living in a separate house, he extended his assistance to us in fixing plumbing and electrical problems. That’s my dad! He never runs our of energy to help us. Why? It’s a labor of love!
There are people who express their love through acts of service. They do them without being told, because it is their nature and their love language. They feel content, fulfilled, happy and appreciated when they serve people. Loving acts are living expressions of love. They have more impact and more meaning. They will never be forgotten. They will forever be etched in the hearts of people dear to you. Be creative in serving your loved ones. Surprise them! Know what they like. Love them in the way they want to be loved. Get out of your comfort zone and invest in your relationships. Serve your spouse a breakfast in bed. Pause from your busy schedule, and accompany your kids in their sports events, dance contests or buying their clothes. Help your friends in their chores. Feed and take care of a sick family member. Pay your parents a visit, give them a relaxing massage. Bear in mind that actions speak louder than words. Words are not enough. They should be translated into actions to make love real and tangible.
When is the last time you served your spouse, your kids, your family and loved ones? What’s the last deed you have done out of love? Here’s the challenge for you. Create a list of acts of service you plan to do for your loved ones. At the end of the week, check what you will be able to accomplish. Expect that your relationships will never be the same again!
Are you looking for ideas how to love and serve your loved ones? It’s time to treat those people who occupy a special place in your heart. Check this out!
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One time, my 15-year old nephew asked me a question that surprised me. I was not expecting that he would ask me this question, “Does my father love me?” I did not see any valid reason for him to ask me this. Without second thoughts, I answered “Yes, of course, he loves you so much.” Then, I began rationalizing, groping for answers and providing explanations to convince him that his father loves him very much. I told him that his father has been working hard just to provide for his needs. During birthdays, holidays and special occasions his father would never forget to give him gifts. His father would give him any amount of money he would ask from him. His father sent him to a prestigious school for him to have a good education and bright future. His father would buy him expensive branded clothes. His father hired 2 nannies who would take care of him. I even told my nephew that he is luckier that other kids because he has a dad who is a responsible person and good provider. After hours of debate and persuasion that seemed would not end, he did not change his conviction as if he did not hear anything from me. He still doubted his father’s love for him. Why?
Since I was not able to convince him after all the efforts of I did, I asked him the reason for asking the question. He gave me a simple answer that made me rethink, “I have all the things that I need, but my father is not always there for me.” This shocked me and made me pause and reflect. I realized that my nephew has a point. What would he do with all the expensive stuff and the large amount of money he has if he seldom sees his father. Even though his father is so sincere in expressing his love to my nephew through gifts this love will not be appreciated and recognized. For a long time the father has not loving his child in the way the child wants to be loved. And so, the child does not feel his love. Quality time is love language of the child.
Quality time is spending time with each other with undivided attention. It’s not simply eating together, playing together, or doing something together. It’ “being” together. It’s a “being-to-being” encounter, a person-to-person encounter. The activities we do together may not matter more. It’t the quality of time we spend together. The activities that we do are just opportunities or instruments through we can share ourselves with each other. It’s not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality of time.
When we spend quality time with our loved ones, we enter into another world where there are no paper works, deadlines, meetings, work stress, business pressure, memos, etc. It’s a realm where only you and your loved ones exist. We share our stories, joys, griefs, sorrows, dreams, triumphs, secrets, and our very own selves with each other. No phone calls, worries, fears, customers, bosses, etc. can disturb us. It’s a radical stop from the daily routine of life. It’s a special world where love, joy, peace and intimacy overflow. A minute of Quality Time cannot be compared with a thousand days of Time spent with divided attention and disruptions!
How much QUALITY TIME have you spent with your loved ones? It’s time to invest you time in your relationships!
Friends, I want to recommend you this book in helping you deepen your relationship with your loved ones. This book has done a lot of marvelous things in my life! I hope it will help you as well!
Tags: Children, communication, dialogue, family, intimacy, kids, Love, love language, misunderstanding, parents, quality time, relationship, teenager, time, Time Management
Love is a universal language. It is understood and expressed by anyone despite the differences in culture, condition, gender, age, status, language/dialect, beliefs and personality. Wherever you go and what the time/period is, love is in the air! We cannot but love. It’s the very reason for existence! It gives meaning, color and significance to life. What is life is you don’t have anyone to share it with!
Though love can be understood by anyone, in a relationship it needs to be expressed appropriately. This is the reason that we are encouraged to know our love language and our partner’s/friends’. It is a key to a healthy, deep and meaningful relationship. By the way, here is the love language test I promised you. Please click on the link, and take the test. Enjoy loving! Live LOVE and LOVE life!
So many people confuse sex or the act of making love as intimacy. They couldn’t be more wrong! Understanding intimacy is very important when in a relationship with someone, for it is only in understanding intimacy that we can truly achieve it.
In understanding intimacy one needs to firstly understand that true intimacy is about connecting on a deep and intimate level with someone . Intimacy is about sharing your needs and desires and your inner most feelings with someone together with sharing your body.
Why do so many of us have trouble understanding Intimacy?
I suppose intimacy is not really someone we learn at school and sometimes things happen to us in our journey through life that cause us to fear intimacy. For real intimacy to be achieved the basis is trust. Trusting in yourself and trusting another person enough for them to know everything about you. Everything about how you feel, what you like, what your fears are, to know and understand you physically on a sexual level.
Understanding intimacy and wanting to achieve it with someone takes courage and commitment and of course love. Courage to expose yourself to someone else, so they can truly see you for who you are. Understanding intimacy and wanting to achieve it certainly takes commitment, a dedication to the relationship, a willingness to grow and learn with and about the other person.
More tips on understanding and achieving intimacy can be found here.
When we begin a relationship intimacy is simple, we cannot seem to get enough of that person! As time passes however and the relationship continues it is very easy to slip into complacency. Remember being in a relationship and being intimate with someone takes effort!
One of the most important ingredients in a successful intimate relationship is the ability to communicate. Communicate when you like something the other person does not just when you don’t! Communication sexually is just as important.
Understanding intimacy and achieving it with a partner brings a special bond, its the very basis for getting up each day, that passion and desire for another!
I am sure at some stage or another in our many relationships that mould us into the person we are today, we have at some point suffered feelings of doubt and insecurity. Unfortunately, this can wreak havoc not only on your intimate relationships, but our whole world in general. There are so many different things that influence us into believing we are “Not Good Enough”. If only we all realized how full of worth and beauty each and every one of us are.
I think the best way to explain this is to give you some real insight into someone who has repeated this pattern over and over, throughout their whole life.
Boys and relationships start earlier for some people and later for others, but our pattern of feelings and actions start from the very beginning. Bearing in mind, the early partners we choose, and the way they treat us can lead us into a lifetime pattern, of insecurity and self doubt. Other times I think it is something in our make-up that we can only strive to conquer and improve.
I started my very first long term serious relationship at the tender age of 15, and it lasted until just before my 19th birthday. I remember from the start being very needy and seeking constant reassurance. He was very devoted, spoilt me and paid me so much attention, so why did I still feel like I wasn’t good enough, that every girl that walked past was better. Why did I always think there was something better out there for me but yet try so hard to have his approval. I was so sure when we dined out or went to public places that people were thinking I looked silly and wasn’t cool enough to be there. I am still working on conquering these feelings today. It would turn out to be something I repeated in most of my intimate relationships.
I married at 20, happy but not quite as in love as I knew I should be, but once again tried to make sure I looked perfect all the time so he couldn’t possibly desire anyone else. I had felt from an early age that I would be “Left on the Shelf”, so in all reality I had everything I had thought I had wanted. A man totally devoted to me, so why did I always think I wasn’t good enough. My marriage ended when I was 39, again I found myself searching for that elusive relationship I was sure I could find.
Insecurity comes and rears it’s ugly head, no matter how perfect you think you are being, and you find yourself wondering how you can make this person want you more than life itself. You can throw yourself into their life to a point where you feel you are indispensible to this person. Insecurity drove me to do things that I would be appalled at if my daughter was doing them. I cooked meals and delivered them, picked up children and baby-sat, formed relationships with family members carefully placing myself at the centre of his world. How could he live without me, I was charming, witty, attractive, yet so desperately seeking approval. Unfortunately this type of behavior eventually drives a person away, in turn achieving the exact opposite of what we so desperately desire. A person who is strong, confident and independent is so much more attractive to other person, which in turn leads to the very thing we are striving for. But how do we find this? What can we do to get to this point…….It takes time and hard work to find that true inner strength, which believe me is in all of us.
I look back now and see all the wonderful promise I had, but never believed in. When I found myself alone, for the first time since I was fourteen, I was devastated and was sure I couldn’t go on. A very dear Uncle of mine said to me at the time-What don’t you get Lisa-You are the catch now, you have your own home, a great job, nice car and are great company. I smiled and agreed, but inside was that nagging insecurity again. It was only eight years ago that these words were spoken to me, and to this day I wished I had the strength back then to believe I was worthy of a great relationship. You can have so much if you can fight your way out of your inner most self doubt.
Today I know that I am a ‘Catch’ and that I will find that true happy relationship. I urge all of you to fight back against these awful feelings of doubt after all, we, each and every one of us has something to offer the world that is truly unique and beautiful…….Ourselves!
First, let’s talk about my loving mom. Every time I visit her home, she always cooks and serves me my favorite dishes. Since I live in a separate home with my kids, I still miss the things that my mom is doing for us, her children. What my mom has been doing for our family is still fresh in my mind. Her day starts early. She used to cook our breakfast before we go to school. While we are taking our meal, she would prepare our school uniform and the bags we would bring to school. When we leave for school, she would wash the dishes and clean the entire house. At midmorning, she would cook lunch for my father and my younger siblings, then washes the dishes afterwards. In the afternoon, she would go to the grocery store to buy items and food that will be needed for the next day. Then, she prepares our appetizing dinner in the evening, and washes the dishes after dinner. She even manages to help us in our assignments and lessons in school. If there will still be time, she will wash the clothes, and iron them. She retires late at night. This has been her daily routine for many years. She never gets tired, bored and burned out. Why? It is a labor of love.
Now, let’s talk about my responsible father. He is always there to help me. I can still remember him driving us to school every morning and fetching us in the afternoon when my siblings and I were still studying. My dad is just a call away. When my car got towed, he rushed to the place few minutes after I had called him. When my kid got locked up in the bedroom, he came to the rescue. During my first year of living in a separate house, he extended his assistance to us in fixing plumbing and electrical problems. That’s my dad! He never runs our of energy to help us. Why? It’s a labor of love!
Be creative in serving your loved ones. Surprise them! Know what they like. Love them in the way they want to be loved. Get out of your comfort zone and invest in your relationships. Serve your spouse a breakfast in bed. Pause from your busy schedule, and accompany your kids in their sports events, dance contests or buying their clothes. Help your friends in their chores. Feed and take care of a sick family member. Pay your parents a visit, give them a relaxing massage. Bear in mind that actions speak louder than words. Words are not enough. They should be translated into actions to make love real and tangible.
Are you looking for ideas how to love and serve your loved ones? It’s time to treat those people who occupy a special place in your heart. Check this out!
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