7 Ways to a Happy & Stress Free Home

If what I am about to explain sounds like a typical evening at your place, then read on. The baby is on your hip, whilst you hurriedly put the Take Away out for dinner, the cat is throwing up on the bathroom mat, the hubby’s feet are up and TV on full-blast, and your teenager just angrily slammed his bedroom door because his washing is still on the line….

Sadly, this is not an exclusive club. However, the good news is that we don’t necessarily have to live this way. There are, in fact, things you can do to ease this stress and create a more harmonious home life so that you and your family can look forward to and enjoy being all home together.

A certain degree of stress is inherent as you deal with the varying phases of your precious-yes they are precious, family members. You must strive to uphold a core set of values and go with the flow to a degree. This ensures you can maintain a happy and healthy home.

There are some specific ways though that you can reduce stress, in turn creating harmony at home:

1. Be organized. Life can quickly become chaotic when you do not maintain organization. An organized home just flows, but disorganization will be full of ebbs and very little flow.

* A good tip is to start small, trying to organize the whole house at once becomes overwhelmingly difficult to achieve. Start small, one room at a time, and see how pleasing the task becomes.

2. Communicate. Your family will find it extremely beneficial to be actively working on communication skills. When you fail to do this effectively, you may not get what you want and may even lead to upsetting misunderstandings. Working on communication skills will in turn, allow all family members to feel loved and appreciated, create harmony and allow the household to run efficiently.

3. Always have your evening meal together. Everyone in your family likely has a full agenda of their own. You may even start to realize that you have no idea what’s going on with your spouse or child. When you make the time to have dinner together, you really start to relax and open up to each other, despite all having a busy lifestyle.

4. Enjoy each other’s company. It is important to schedule time to have fun together as a family, even starting with one night a week. This will take some advance planning, choosing an activity. You need to allow each family member a chance to pick an activity to their liking.

5. Show unconditional love, fill each other’s cup of love to the brim! Be sure to encourage unconditional love with your family. This leads to secure attachments and will in turn keep all of your family happy and stress-free.

* We all need to know that, when we make mistakes,which we all do at times,we have a loving family who will back us up and forgive us, no matter what.

6. Show support and go out of your way for your family members. It might not be your idea on a Friday night to go to your daughter’s ballet concert but just think of how she will feel when she sees your smiling face, knowing that she has your love and support. Express your love and support by really being there , no matter what or how difficult it seems. They can not read your mind, so just thinking about how much you love them is not enough!

7.Every family needs rules. Having a set of family rules will help with keeping organization, letting everyone know what is expected of them to create harmony for all.

* You will need to plan a family meeting to establish the house rules. Let everyone have a chance to participate and share his or her concerns. You will more than likely find a compromise that allows everyone a chance to feel happy and satisfied.

A home that is built on love will be happy and stress free. Don’t be too hard on yourself and others, and you will have the foundations for creating an excellent home life.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: happiness, positive attitude, Relationships, respect, stress

Insecurity in Relationships….

I am sure at some stage or another in our many relationships that mould us into the person we are today, we have at some point suffered feelings of doubt and insecurity. Unfortunately, this can wreak havoc not only on your intimate relationships, but our whole world in general. There are so many different things that influence us into believing we are “Not Good Enough”. If only we all realized how full of worth and beauty each and every one of us are.

I think the best way to explain this is to give you some real insight into someone who has repeated this pattern over and over, throughout their whole life.

Boys and relationships start earlier for some people and later for others, but our pattern of feelings and actions start from the very beginning. Bearing in mind, the early partners we choose, and the way they treat us can lead us into a lifetime pattern, of insecurity and self doubt. Other times I think it is something in our make-up that we can only strive to conquer and improve.

I started my very first long term serious relationship at the tender age of 15, and it lasted until just before my 19^th birthday. I remember from the start being very needy and seeking constant reassurance. He was very devoted, spoilt me and paid me so much attention, so why did I still feel like I wasn’t good enough, that every girl that walked past was better. Why did I always think there was something better out there for me but yet try so hard to have his approval. I was so sure when we dined out or went to public places that people were thinking I looked silly and wasn’t cool enough to be there. I am still working on conquering these feelings today. It would turn out to be something I repeated in most of my intimate relationships.

I married at 20, happy but not quite as in love as I knew I should be, but once again tried to make sure I looked perfect all the time so he couldn’t possibly desire anyone else. I had felt from an early age that I would be “Left on the Shelf”, so in all reality I had everything I had thought I had wanted. A man totally devoted to me, so why did I always think I wasn’t good enough. My marriage ended when I was 39, again I found myself searching for that elusive relationship I was sure I could find.

Insecurity comes and rears it’s ugly head, no matter how perfect you think you are being, and you find yourself wondering how you can make this person want you more than life itself. You can throw yourself into their life to a point where you feel you are indispensible to this person. Insecurity drove me to do things that I would be appalled at if my daughter was doing them. I cooked meals and delivered them, picked up children and baby-sat, formed relationships with family members carefully placing myself at the centre of his world. How could he live without me, I was charming, witty, attractive, yet so desperately seeking approval. Unfortunately this type of behavior eventually drives a person away, in turn achieving the exact opposite of what we so desperately desire. A person who is strong, confident and independent is so much more attractive to other person, which in turn leads to the very thing we are striving for. But how do we find this? What can we do to get to this point…….It takes time and hard work to find that true inner strength, which believe me is in all of us.

I look back now and see all the wonderful promise I had, but never believed in. When I found myself alone, for the first time since I was fourteen, I was devastated and was sure I couldn’t go on. A very dear Uncle of mine said to me at the time-What don’t you get Lisa-You are the catch now, you have your own home, a great job, nice car and are great company. I smiled and agreed, but inside was that nagging insecurity again. It was only eight years ago that these words were spoken to me, and to this day I wished I had the strength back then to believe I was worthy of a great relationship. You can have so much if you can fight your way out of your inner most self doubt.

Today I know that I am a ‘Catch’ and that I will find that true happy relationship. I urge all of you to fight back against these awful feelings of doubt after all, we, each and every one of us has something to offer the world that is truly unique and beautiful…….Ourselves!

By MaryAnn Roche

Tags: happiness, intimacy, Love, positive relationship, Relationships

Strutt Your Stuff Ladies!

How many times in any given day are we literally bombard by TV, radio, magazines or any form of advertising telling us and showing us how women are supposed to look. 9 times out of 10 this is an unrealistic image of how a woman’s body is supposed to be.

Of course when you’re 13 years old you are young and vulnerable and still trying to distinguish reality from nonsense. How is a young girl expected to grow up feeling happy and healthy towards her body? Is it any wonder health issues such as anorexia are prevalent throughout developed countries. We are constantly fed the garbage that thinner is better on so many levels! No wonder it is sometimes taken to the extreme.

Somehow, somewhere while we are constantly being spoon feed on a daily basis that we arent thin enough, that our waist needs to be smaller, our thighs are too big, our breasts are too small, we actually have to try to come to terms with, and love the body we have. Somehow we have to filter the information we receive every day. We must change our thinking and perhaps do a lot of self talk in order to remind ourselves that we are perfect just as we are right now. For we are perfect right now, it isnt that we wil be perfect sometime in the future when we have lost weight, if we wait to attain our perfect life we will miss the perfect life we have right now.

Every woman in every magazine you have ever looked at has imperfections. They have been airbrusheed and touched up to appear thinner and blemish free. When you are out with friends try to keep the negative talk at bay. Generally we as women when we get together tend to focus on our weight and what is wrong with us. Try instead to focus on the wonderful friendship you all have and talk and laugh about the great things life has to offer. That way we as women, teach our daughters healthy attitudes towards their bodies.

Now hang on a minute. Let’s just actually stop for a moment and really think about this. A woman’s body can create life and give birth to another human being. A woman’s body can also provide nourishment and sustenance to an infant. A woman’s body should be honored, treasured and respected for the marvellous vessel that it is!

I tell you ladies, no matter how thin you are, I doubt you will ever look in the mirror and say “I’m so happy with the way I look” but as my daughter once said to me “Mum you will never be this beautiful in your life again, so go out there and flaunt what you have!”

So very true, and if we as women could forget about our perceived flaws for one moment, and get out there and strutt our stuff, we would realize just how sexual our confidence in ourselves is to the opposite sex.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: happiness, Positive Affirmations, Self Esteem and Confidence

How To Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort.  It is not a set and forget arrangement.  To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.

Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship.  To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage.  You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail?  If not, is it better that way?

Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way.  There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process.  Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.

In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?”  You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING.  If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!

Marriages seem full of decisions.  There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live.  A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making.  It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.

I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on.  There are generally about 5 of these.  Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.

I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance.  Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.

Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing.  It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: find a loving relationship, happiness, love yourself, loving relationship, marriage, Nurture a Positive Relationship, positive attitude, respect, self respect

Applying the Law of Attraction

I guess it’s a topic everyone has all heard about by now.  How could you not, remember what a splash “The Secret” made a few years ago?  I don’t know that anyone living and breathing didnt hear about it!  The funny thing is, is was all about the Law of Attraction, which really is nothing new right?  Well, if its nothing new then why do so many of us either ignore it, or just fail to incorporate it into our daily lives?

I suppose to do so would mean that we must firstly understand what the Law of Attraction is and how we can utilize it. It really is a simple and easy concept – negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.  How difficult is that to understand?  Easy isnt it. Well perhaps it is a little more involved -in that the universe knows our subconscious mind and delivers things according to our thoughts. If we are wanting good things in our lives such as peace, happiness, success etc, then we simply need to give thanks for all the good things we currently have. We must be truly grateful for what we have right now and profess our thanks for this on a daily basis. To do so begets more of  the same.

Of course we all have times when its difficult to escape those negative thoughts and feelings, and often times when we are overworked, tired and stressed, it really is too easy to allow those negative thoughts to permeate.  However its moments such as these when it is even more important to focus on the positive and give thanks for all the little things we take for granted. According to the principles of the Law of Attraction, redirecting these feelings immediately attracts more of the positive into our lives.

Imagine you are standing in line at the supermaket, you have had a long and taxing day and this really is the last thing you want to be doing, before you have to go home and face the kids and actually cook dinner!  Difficult to see the positive in that situation isnt it?  Not really.  Give thanks for the fact that your work allows you to buy the food for your children, and imagine how happy they will be when you walk through the front door.

Lastly and the single most important lesson in the Law of Attraction:  Ask for what you want. Honestly it is that simple that we forget.  We actually have to voice what it is we actually want.  We all waste so much time talking about what we dont want, and of course in doing so, we simply attract more of the same. If you want a great relationship or you want happy children, a well paid job etc, you can actually have all that you want but you must ask for it and give thanks for all that you currently have.  If you would like to learn more about applying the law of attraction,Click Here!

When asking for what you want, you have to visualize yourself having it already.  Although its difficult to do and does take practice you have to actually live as though you already have whatever it is you want, taste the tastes or smell the smells etc as this will feed through to your subconscious. If love is what you want in your life, you must visualize yourself experiencing it. Laughing and smiling, enjoying things with someone special etc.

The funny thing about the Law of Attraction is you just can’t fake it, our subconcious is a very powerful tool that can provide us with all that we want in our lives if we just use it correctly.  Imagine how happy you are, the smiles on your faces, and enjoying things together.

* Just remember that you must request this sincerely.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: happiness, Law Of Attraction, peace, positive attitude, Success