How To Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort.  It is not a set and forget arrangement.  To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.

Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship.  To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage.  You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail?  If not, is it better that way?

Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way.  There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process.  Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.

In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?”  You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING.  If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!

Marriages seem full of decisions.  There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live.  A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making.  It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.

I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on.  There are generally about 5 of these.  Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.

I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance.  Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.

Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing.  It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.

By MaryAnn Roche.

How You Can Find a Loving Relationship

Everyone benefits from enjoying a loving relationship! Have you got a great relationship with a special someone? or are you looking to find one?

Has finding a loving relationship been on your mind? Have you been disappointed in your search? While it may seem like discovering the type of relationship you long for is beyond your reach, rest assured it’s not impossible.

There are many strategies you can use to help you in your search for that special someone. Once you find that extraordinary person who loves you for who you are, your relationship can carry you forward, together, toward your dreams and complete fulfillment!

Here are a few important tips to help you find a loving relationship you so desire:

1. Identify your goals. What are your goals? Where do you plan to be in five or ten years? A relationship where both partners have very different goals will be difficult.

* It’s important that you find someone with similar goals so you’re both heading in the same direction. You want to come closer together as your relationship grows, not be torn apart by wildly differing goals. For example, discuss important subjects such as children, career aspirations, and family life before jumping into a relationship.

2. Know your own needs. When looking for a long-term relationship, the first thing you need to do is clarify your own wants and needs. After all, if you don’t know what you want, how will you recognize it when you find it?

Many people go out looking for a relationship with no clue what they really need or want in a companion. When you’re able to figure out your own desires and know who you truly are, then you’re much more likely to find someone who fulfills those desires.

* Know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you absolutely don’t want.

3. Be true to yourself. This is imperative if you want to find the loving relationship your heart longs for. You should never settle for someone just because you want to be in a relationship.

If you’re not true to yourself, you’ll come to regret it later. You may wake up one day and realize you’re not happy with your life, including the person you’re sharing it with.

* Don’t allow your desire to have a loving relationship sell you short of what you really deserve.

4. Be firm with your values. It’s essential to stand up for the values you find important. If your love interest has completely different core values, then you’re not going to be able to build a strong, loving, and lasting relationship.

* You can still have a relationship with someone you disagree with on some issues. However, the foundational values that you hold dear should be shared. This could be your religious or political values, or whatever else is important to you.

Finding a loving relationship is possible – don’t let anyone, including yourself, try to tell you otherwise. However, it’s important that you take the time to prepare yourself to attract your soul mate.

By following these tips, you’re putting yourself in a good position to spark a connection that will last for a lifetime. It might take some time and effort to get to know yourself first, but the results will be worth it!

Enjoying the company, conversation, passion (and sex) of your Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, can be the thing in life that gets you through all the hard times with relative ease.

Everyone deserves to be happy and one of the best ways I know to do that is by loving someone and being loved back. Use my suggestions above and you too, can find a loving relationship!