Many adult women of today where told by their parents, when they were little girls, to be nice, quiet, obedient and not to complain. They wanted to be good in order not to upset mommy and daddy, so they did what they were told. They obeyed and when there was something they didn’t like, they kept it to themselves.

 These little girls grew up and today they are thirty, forty, fifty. They are experienced, self-confident and educated. But even today they are subconsciously afraid of admitting that something is wrong. They fear that their partner will blame them for creating problems, get upset and eventually stop loving them. However, being tight-lipped is one of the most destructive relationship mistakes. And if you don’t dare to talk about what bothers you and to express your wishes, you’re not being a good girl at all. On the contrary.

We all know that communication is the key to a happy relationship. Usually, women are considered more communicative, while men tend to find it more difficult to open up, show their emotions and discuss relationship issues.

However, there is one communication area in which we, women, often do not excel. Many of us have problems telling the truth when something is wrong and expressing exactly what we want. Instead, we expect men to see what’s wrong and to guess what we want. The bad news is that men are no mind readers and most of the time they believe what we tell them.

Let’s have a look at this typical example: Your partner asks you if you’re okay. You say that you are. He’s happy and goes about his day. But in reality, you’re not okay. Maybe you had a bad day at work, maybe you’re sad, maybe you have a headache, maybe he said something or did something annoying. However, you don’t say a word because you expect him to know, to see it, to feel it. He would, if he really loved you, right? So you get frustrated and furious. He doesn’t understand why you’re snapping at him, and he says you’re hysterical. It makes you even more furious because you’re angry for a reason. He still doesn’t understand. You end up fighting for nothing. Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s quite possible that your mum or your best friend really see when something is wrong and don’t leave you alone until you tell them. However, most men are much more straightforward and a bit less empathetic than women, and when you say you’re fine, they take your word for it.

So my advice is: Speak up and tell your partner how you feel and what you think. Believe me, he can take it. Actually, he’ll be happy to listen, advice and help, or just to hug you and support you.

The same rule applies to relationship issues. Maybe something he does (or did) has been bugging you for some time. Maybe you would like to spend more time together or do different things. Maybe his habits are ticking you off. He can’t know it unless you tell him, and such little “secrets” have ruined many good relationships. The tension keeps building up, you’re not happy, he can see that but he doesn’t understand why. It leads to unnecessary fights and even to break-ups.

Your partner wants your relationship to work, just like you do. He wants to be happy, just like you want him to be happy. And he wants to know what’s going on in your head, just like you want to know what’s going on in his. Talking about things that bother you and about those that you want or long for should become a natural part of your relationship. So start today. Tell your partner you want to discuss something over a good meal on Friday night and believe me, he’ll be ready to listen. Don’t accuse each other and don’t complain, just talk about things that you would like to change. Stop keeping your worries to yourself. You’re in this together, it’s your relationship and you love each other, so be honest and open. And remember, hints are useless and they don’t work, so don’t expect your partner to read between the lines. You will see that straightforwardness is something that men deeply appreciate.

 Written by Barbora Knobova.

Tags: boost your self esteem, confidence, happiness, Love, personal development, positive thinking, Relationships, respect, Self Esteem and Confidence

How to Feel Self Esteem and Self Respect

How’s your self esteem or your self respect?
Do you feel confidence and love yourself for who you are?

What about others? how do they see you? how do you think they see you? Do you want to get the respect of others – in the office, on the street, and in your community?

In case you didnt know it all starts with you and how you feel about yourself. The funny thing is that getting respect is an internal process that could be expressed outside, but starts from inside for sure.

If you want to get others’ respect you have to gain self respect too.

So what is Self Respect or Self Esteem?

Its a lot of thing all rolled in to one, consider it a mixture of the following things……and learn about yourself and what you think in the following areas…..

Be Honest With Yourself

Lie to others if you wish, but never lie to yourself. Be honest about what you want to do, who you want to be with, where you want to go, etc. Learn to listen to yourself. Do not listen to your fears or others. Listen to yourself and follow your Guiding Light.

Respect Your Body

Your body is your only vehicle in the Land of Life. Take care of it. Feed it with good food. Keep it clean and fully functional. Train it and improve it’s abilities. A better body will be your trip on the Earth.

Respect Your Emotions

Know what you feel and let yourself feel it 100 per cent! Do not suppress your feelings. Express them instead. They are like a turbulent river and nothing could keep them inside you. They will find their way out.

Respect Your Mind

Your mind is your most precious weapon. Take care of it. Fill it with thoughts about the solutions, not about the problems. You can use it to win and conquer the world. Or you can use it to kill yourself. It’s up to you!

Respect Your Opinion

Your opinion is not less valuable than the opinions of others. Know your opinion and respect the fact that you have it. Express it and don’t be shy. It is yours and is valuable enough to be expressed and to be respected by others.

Respect Your Skills

Your set of skills is unique. Why? Because you are unique your life is unique. So you can be proud of your skills. Improve them and use them. Do your best and follow the road to perfection.

More ways to find Self Esteem…

Respect Your Talents

You are born with a purpose, believe me! And your Creator has given you all the talents and gifts you need in order to complete your mission here.

So, know your talents, work on them, improve them, and use the knowledge about them to find and fulfill your mission. This is the only way to feel a complete and satisfied life.

Know Your Success Stories

Know your ups, your successes. Know and remember clearly when you’ve won and what your reward was. Think about these successes and write them down. Do not forget them. They will motivate you and will protect you from failure in the future.

Know Your Failures

Know them in order and learn from them. Learn the lessons; improve your skills, performance, abilities, etc. Then forget those failures as they cannot help you any more.

Know Your Goals

If you know what your direction is, you will be able to find a way, or many ways to get there. If you know where you are going you will find the road to lead you there.

Know Where You Are On The Road To Success

It is not enough to know your goal. You need to know where you are on the road to your goal.

How far is it? Are you on the right road? Always know your position in relation to your goal. If you are not on the right road then change it! If you are close, work harder to get even closer. If you are still far away keep working even harder.

Know Your Promises and Keep Your Word

In the old days keeping your word had been a matter of honor. Nowadays we have forgotten this. Remember it!

Promise hard and never break your promises! Never! Know very well what have you promised and keep your word. Do this for the promises to yourself as well.

Getting the respect of others starts with your own self respect. When you respect yourself, others will respect you too. Otherwise you have got nothing.

At the end of the day it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks – it matters what you think and how you feel. If you don’t have a positive self esteem, you will find yourself miserable!

Where as if you take the time to really take stock in all your glory, and allow yourself to get to know the real you and enjoy your own company – your self respect and confidence, self esteem and happiness will soar!

Tags: confidence, respect, self esteem, self respect

About Teenagers and Teenage Self Esteem

My regular readers know I have 7 children between 11 and 22 and they also know…I know about this stuff!

Today I thought I would write about adolsecent self esteem and how to boost your teens confidence. Teenagers problems are many and varied but let’s start off with the topic of self esteem and confidence – which if your child possesses – they are off to a great start in life!

About teenagers! Teens are stuck in an in-between world. They’re neither children nor adults. They’re adjusting to both physical and mental changes, including emotional extremes caused by additional activity in the part of the brain that regulates emotions. and hormones!

Needless to say, this is right up there on the teenagers problems list! for many teens, this is a very confusing time!

Along with the normal confusion, teens often suffer from low self esteem and peer pressure. Females are more prone to confidence issues and often get more attention for the problem, but males are just as susceptible. In fact, any teen is vulnerable to self esteem challenges.

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As parents and involved adults, it’s our responsibility to help teens foster a healthy self esteem. It’s an ongoing process and there are no shortcuts. Teens need to be constantly reminded that they’re great kids and we’re proud of them.

Follow these strategies every day to boost your adolescents self esteem and confidence:

1. Set a positive example for your teenager.

No matter how distant your teen may seem, they still model your behaviors closely. If they see you have a self esteem issue, they may mimic that. Set an example with a positive attitude towards yourself and others.

2. Lessen teenagers problems by taking the time to talk with your teen.

While your teen may not want to talk to you, make sure they know you’re available if they change their mind. Sometimes just knowing you’re there for them makes a difference.

* Part of talking with a teen is actively listening. Teens with self esteem issues often feel that no one listens to them or cares about what they have to say. Show them you’re listening by letting them finish and then asking questions about what they said.

3. Help your teen set goals and celebrate when they reach them.

Start with small goals that they can achieve in a short period of time. When they reach the goal, celebrate with them. If it takes longer to reach their goal, keep encouraging them and their confidence will grow.

* Let your teen know that it’s okay to change their goal along the way. This is the way of life and an important skill teens need to learn. When circumstances change, we may need to re-adjust our plans. If your teen understands this, it will help build their confidence.

* Show them that taking definitive action to achieve their goal is just as important as reaching the goal.

4. Let your teen know you’re proud of them.

When they score an A, tell them how great they did. If they got a C, it’s just as important that your teen knows you’re proud of that grade as well. Encourage them to do their best and be proud of them when they do.

5. Encourage your teen to get involved in an activity they enjoy.

It could be any activity, club, or organization. Getting them involved in something will help them realize they’re more normal than they think!

* Encourage their individuality and interests by letting them pick the activity. Give them the freedom to express themselves by getting involved in their own interests and passions.

6. Encourage your teen to live a healthy lifestyle.

Many times problems can manifest when teens are couch potatoes or have unhealthy eating habits. When a teen eats a well balanced diet and gets a regular amount of exercise, it’s easier for them to feel better about themselves.

* Schedule your teen for a full check-up with your doctor. Your primary health care provider can rule out any physical causes for your teen’s low self esteem. They may also recommend additional steps or counseling that can help.

Teenage self esteem can be fragile. All the time you spend building your teen’s confidence can be torn down in one crappy afternoon.

As with anyone, teens will have good and bad days. Never be discouraged or give up on them. Follow these strategies and soon enough, you’ll know that you’re on the right path. Your teen will go through mood swings, but with time and love, they’ll emerge as a strong and confident adult.

Want more info on this subject? – Click Here!

Talk about teenagers problems and teach them that learning to deal with disappointment, criticism, and challenges is an important life skill. Talk to your teen about how important it is to know they’re still a great person worthy of love and affection, no matter what life may throw their way.

One thing I know about teenagers, is that if they are happy and confident – they do better in all area’s of their lives. I believe teenage self esteem or lack of it can have a hugely detrimental effect on our children, so it’s very important to help work on your adolescents self esteem and try to make it low on your teenagers problems list!

Tags: about teenagers, adolsecent self esteem, confidence, Self Esteem and Confidence, Teenage Self Esteem, Teenagers problems

My passion for personal development is well known to my readers! As a matter of fact this whole site is devloped on the theme of personal development, self help and growth.

Today I want to talk about the power of self confidence.

We are all different but for me, Self confidence is not something that holds me back. In fact I really appreciate the level of confidence I enjoy and feel that I can make the choices and decisions I want without a feeling of concern or over riding fear. That is not to say that I am always successful, but I realize that even by trying I am moving closer to a higher level of confidence and ultimately bigger successes.

I did not always have a high level of self confidence. When I was younger, I had a lot of self confidence in my ability to do well in school and sports, but my confidence in my ability to deal with life’s challenges was quite low. This was probably caused by a fear of not measuring up to my parent’s expectations and a little bit of social shyness. However, as I got older, I realized that my parents only wanted me to be healthy and to try my best at everything I did.

Self confidence or confidence in yourself means that you know that you can do whatever task you are faced with. This does not mean that you have to do every task by yourself. It means that the ones you know you can do by yourself you do and the ones where you need help you know how to find it. Confidence is a learned trait, not something you are born with. It is the force which pushes you forward and allows you to find the right path amidst the confusion and chaos of life. Confidence is the necessity you must have to assist you in realizing your dreams and goals.

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We all have the power of self confidence within us. Sadly many leave it unused for long periods of time while others use it sparingly like a miser. Forget about past worries and build the power of self confidence within you. Since you can’t change the mistakes of the past, don’t let them spoil the present or dim the future.

The first thing that you must practice is “don’t hate yourself” before deciding to practice self confidence. It is very difficult to become self confident if you do not like yourself. Remember, just like everyone else, you were born into this world for a specific reason. Think about the things that you are good at doing. Work at becoming better at them. Don’t worry about the things that you are not very good at. As a very successful person I was talking to recently said, “Why spend your limited time here on earth working on things you are not good at. Instead perfect the things you are good at and hire someone to do the things you are not good at.”

Mediocrity and poor performance are often due to low self confidence but it is not something you have to live with. You can build your self confidence by challenging yourself to take action and do something. Even though you feel as if you lack confidence, it doesn’t mean other people can tell. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it’s much easier than you’d imagine. One of the easiest ways of building self confidence is to “take baby steps.” What I mean by this is to set small goals or projects that you have to complete. Each time you do one in the time you have set for yourself, you will build your self confidence. The accumulation of small “victories” will convince your subconscious mind that you can do what you set out to do. It will then convince your conscious mind that you have a lot of capabilities and your self confidence will grow. If you continue to do this over a period of months, you will find that your self confidence becomes greatly improved. With improved self confidence you can take on bigger projects and goals and as these are completed your self confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.

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So what other techniques are available to anyone embarking on the personal development road to confidence? It should be no surprise to you when I tell you that the single most influential person on your self confidence is you, or more specifically, your mind. This probably sounds very basic but are you using your own thoughts to re-enforce your self confidence and self esteem? Talk positively to yourself all the time. Become your own best friend and supporter. Encourage yourself to do more. Congratulate yourself on every small or large victory. Remember that very few people are successful the first time they try to do something. You didn’t ride a bike the first time you tried. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on his first attempt either. It took him more than 10,000 attempts before he made the first successful light bulb and it only lasted a few minutes. The biggest thing to remember is that you are never defeated in doing anything you want to do until you quit. Donald Trump, during a recent interview, stated that he was richer than most people because he failed more times than most. However, in his case, he learned from his mistakes and tried again. Why? Because he was confident that he could do what he wanted to do if he just continued trying. You are no different from Donald Trump. Do what he did. Just keep trying until you succeed. When you do, your self confidence will soar and you will realize that you can do anything you want to as long as you continue trying.

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Another technique is to watch other people. When you see someone that stands upright and moves with a sense of purpose watch to see if they give you the impression that they have a lot of confidence. If they do, duplicate the physical characteristics of these confident people and you will start to gain the confidence they display.

One thing that you must ensure that you do not do is listen to people who talk down to you or try to tell you that you cannot do something. Usually these people can’t do these things themselves, so they try to convince others that they can’t do them either. If something like this keeps happening to you, tune these people out and stop associating with them. Your inner confidence needs to be liberated from this constant barrage of negative thoughts and statements from the dream stealers around you. Your limitations are in your mind, not in your reality.

Here are some tips for everyday practice. If you want to develop and build confidence, associate with positive uplifting people. Good people around you will help you build self confidence. If you want to build up your confidence, do something new every day. Each of these small acts will add to your confidence and also make your life more enjoyable. The most sacred thing in life is self confidence because it is the secret of all miracles. When you have confidence in yourself, you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in you. In consequence, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish. A person who knows the power of self confidence walks a path of personal development, inner growth and achievement. With self confidence a person of mediocre ability can achieve more in life than those with exceptional talents and little self confidence.

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Supreme self confidence is a birth right for every person so isn’t it about time you claimed yours?

Get on the personal development road now and grow your confidence today!

Tags: confidence, personal development, self confidence