Many adult women of today where told by their parents, when they were little girls, to be nice, quiet, obedient and not to complain. They wanted to be good in order not to upset mommy and daddy, so they did what they were told. They obeyed and when there was something they didn’t like, they kept it to themselves.

 These little girls grew up and today they are thirty, forty, fifty. They are experienced, self-confident and educated. But even today they are subconsciously afraid of admitting that something is wrong. They fear that their partner will blame them for creating problems, get upset and eventually stop loving them. However, being tight-lipped is one of the most destructive relationship mistakes. And if you don’t dare to talk about what bothers you and to express your wishes, you’re not being a good girl at all. On the contrary.

We all know that communication is the key to a happy relationship. Usually, women are considered more communicative, while men tend to find it more difficult to open up, show their emotions and discuss relationship issues.

However, there is one communication area in which we, women, often do not excel. Many of us have problems telling the truth when something is wrong and expressing exactly what we want. Instead, we expect men to see what’s wrong and to guess what we want. The bad news is that men are no mind readers and most of the time they believe what we tell them.

Let’s have a look at this typical example: Your partner asks you if you’re okay. You say that you are. He’s happy and goes about his day. But in reality, you’re not okay. Maybe you had a bad day at work, maybe you’re sad, maybe you have a headache, maybe he said something or did something annoying. However, you don’t say a word because you expect him to know, to see it, to feel it. He would, if he really loved you, right? So you get frustrated and furious. He doesn’t understand why you’re snapping at him, and he says you’re hysterical. It makes you even more furious because you’re angry for a reason. He still doesn’t understand. You end up fighting for nothing. Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s quite possible that your mum or your best friend really see when something is wrong and don’t leave you alone until you tell them. However, most men are much more straightforward and a bit less empathetic than women, and when you say you’re fine, they take your word for it.

So my advice is: Speak up and tell your partner how you feel and what you think. Believe me, he can take it. Actually, he’ll be happy to listen, advice and help, or just to hug you and support you.

The same rule applies to relationship issues. Maybe something he does (or did) has been bugging you for some time. Maybe you would like to spend more time together or do different things. Maybe his habits are ticking you off. He can’t know it unless you tell him, and such little “secrets” have ruined many good relationships. The tension keeps building up, you’re not happy, he can see that but he doesn’t understand why. It leads to unnecessary fights and even to break-ups.

Your partner wants your relationship to work, just like you do. He wants to be happy, just like you want him to be happy. And he wants to know what’s going on in your head, just like you want to know what’s going on in his. Talking about things that bother you and about those that you want or long for should become a natural part of your relationship. So start today. Tell your partner you want to discuss something over a good meal on Friday night and believe me, he’ll be ready to listen. Don’t accuse each other and don’t complain, just talk about things that you would like to change. Stop keeping your worries to yourself. You’re in this together, it’s your relationship and you love each other, so be honest and open. And remember, hints are useless and they don’t work, so don’t expect your partner to read between the lines. You will see that straightforwardness is something that men deeply appreciate.

 Written by Barbora Knobova.

Tags: boost your self esteem, confidence, happiness, Love, personal development, positive thinking, Relationships, respect, Self Esteem and Confidence

How You Can Boost Your Self Esteem In Hard Times

Attempting to boost your self-esteem during normal times is hard enough, but what happens when you’re dealing with a difficult period in your life?

Stressful issues like job loss, broken relationships, or sickness can lower our self esteem. We tend to take the blame and feel that, if we were “better,” these things wouldn’t have happened in the first place. When thinking rationally, we may realize that this is untrue, but it’s harder during times of struggle to feel good about ourselves!

For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!

Here are some simple strategies you can use to give your self-esteem a boost during trying times:

1. Focus on the positive.

Yes, negative things can happen in your life, but this must not be your only focus. As I’m sure you’ve heard before: “Things could be worse.” Try to turn your attention onto what you have that is good.

* Whether it’s wonderful children, a terrific spouse, or a roof over your head, focus on what is positive and special in your life.

* Not only will this make you feel better about your current situation, but you’ll also realize that these good things would not have been possible without you.

* It’s time to understand that you are a positive influence in the lives of many. Realistically, everyone has to deal with difficult times as a part of growing and maturing. Try to remember that “this too shall pass” and keep your chin up.

2. Take time for you.

With all that’s happening in your life right now, you’re under a lot of stress. This obviously isn’t helping your feelings of low self-esteem. More than likely, you’re not taking any time out for the most important person in your life: you.

For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!
* Allow some time to relax and regroup. It will do wonders for your mindset! Make the time to do something that you thoroughly enjoy doing. It can be alone or with family or a trusted friend – whatever relaxes you the most.

* Read a book, take a bubble bath, make some cookies, or dance around the house to your favorite music. Anything that can relieve some of that stress you’re feeling will make a big difference.

3. Believe that things will get better.

The power of the mind is amazing. If you’re in a situation that you truly believe is hopeless, your chances of changing that situation worsen greatly. If you believe things can and will get better, your chances of improving the situation are greatest.

* Knowing that things will improve will also help you feel more confident about yourself. You’ll feel more positive heading into the right direction, and your self-esteem will increase.

Final thoughts on Self Esteem

Life sometimes presents us with difficult situations that we’re not prepared to deal with. During these times, consciously redirect your feelings away from the negative and towards the positive. Your self-esteem will be strengthened, along with your belief of a better outcome.
For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!

When you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, things don’t seem as dark. Use these tips on how to boost your self esteem to find your light and feel better.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Tags: boost your self esteem, self esteem

My 7 Top Tips to Boost Your Self Esteem

Self esteem is a very important part of a happy and successful life. If you enjoy a high self esteem you are in a much better place to enjoy your existance.

There are many things you can do to boost your own self-esteem. By taking the steps to build your own self worth and well being, you’re practicing the best form of preventative medicine possible.

Everyone needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a successful, contented life. While some people look to others and their material success to gauge their own self worth, the most important assessment is how you feel about yourself.

Here are the top seven ways to boost your self-esteem:

1. Surround yourself with positive people. Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next. When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you’ll be charged from their energy.

2. Measure your worth based on yourself, not on others. Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances. When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it’s a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they’re attacking.

Basing your self-esteem on another person’s opinions is never a good idea. Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

3. Strengthen your strengths. When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self esteem rises as well. We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

4. Do things you love. The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel. Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemical in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we’ve done them, and those memories increase our self esteem. Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

5. Set your thoughts on the things you want to attract. Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

6. Speak affirming thoughts to yourself. We’ve all heard the phrase “act as if.” Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” say, “I am a happy person.” Say it out loud everyday.

7. Believe in yourself. Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish. When you believe that you’re capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

You’ll begin to reprogram your subconscious to believe it as the truth, and soon you’ll be feeling that truth every day.

These simple steps to boost your self esteem are easy to put into practice in your day-to-day life. Start today and build your self worth and self-esteem into the foundation of your character. Your life will never be the same.

Tags: boost your self esteem, Self Esteem and Confidence

I Use Affirmations to Boost my Self Esteem!

Low self esteem is often because of negative messages that you absorb subconsciously. Knowing that, you can give yourself positive messages in order to boost your self esteem.

What are you supposed to say? How do you word affirmations? Don’t worry, here are some steps that will help you boost your self esteem with affirmations.

1) Make them in the present tense- Make your affirmations in the present tense instead of the future. Instead of saying “I will”, say “I choose”. The words “choose to” empowers you and it puts it in the present, instead of someday in the future.

2) Make them believable- You also want your affirmations to be believable. If you say something that you know you don’t believe, your subconscious may reject it. For example, if you are not good at something, instead of saying that you are good at it, which you don’t believe anyway, say that you are learning to be good at it. That is believable and true.

3) Use the right tone- You can say your affirmations out loud or in your head, but pay attention to the tone you are using. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Don’t use a tone of voice that sounds bored or like you don’t believe what you are saying. Say your affirmations with love and sincerity. If you say that you love yourself in a sarcastic tone, your subconscious will know that you don’t believe it. Would you rather hear affirmations in a sincere tone or a bored or sarcastic tone?

4) Repeat the affirmations- After you have chosen your affirmations, you need to repeat them several times a day for as long as necessary. Just saying them one time won’t do the trick. You have heard so many negative messages for such a long time, that it will take repeating positive affirmations, over and over again for them to combat all of the negative messages you have been hearing.

5) Have patience- It will take time to combat all of those negative messages for good. You have been getting negative messages for so long and your self esteem has suffered for a long time, so your self esteem won’t suddenly raise to a healthy level in one day.

Brian Tracy’s Affirmations with music CD
Every day you say affirmations, the more you combat those old, negative messages. Have patience and give it some time and you will see the changes. You’ll feel more positive and notice that you feel happier.

Using affirmations to boost your self esteem is just one thing you can use them for! I will write articles on both affirmations and other ways to use them and also, articles on self image and different ways to boost your self esteem – check back regularly and have a nice day – you deserve it!

Tags: Affirmations, boost your self esteem, Self Esteem and Confidence