Let me ask you to do something for a moment. Follow the directions carefully. Close your eyes. Think of 3 things that you like most about yourself…..(pause)…Don’t be in hurry… Take you time… If you’re done thinking of them, think of another set of 3 good things about yourself…….. (pause)… If you’re done, think of 3 more gifts and talents that you have…..(pause)… Think of another set of three…..(pause)… Don’t stop thinking of another set of three until I ask you stop…. (pause for 5 minutes)
STOP!
Did you have difficulty doing the simple activity? Why?
Are comfortable doing it? Why?
Were you surprised of what you’ve thought of? Why?
I guess most of us are not used to this kind of activity. Why? Because the things we thought of earlier are different from what we hear from people around us, and contradictory to our parents and loved ones have been telling us. “You’re no good!” “You can’t do it!” “You’re the worst person I’ve ever met!” “You’re the biggest mistake that ever happened in my life!” “You’re lazy and irresponsible!” “You’re an idiot!”
There are problems in a relationship because there are some words that should not be said, but uttered, and things that need to be said which are left unsaid due to complacency and fear of rejection.
The first love language is Words of Affirmation. There are people who are hungry and thirsty to hear
words that will compliment and affirm them, that will bring out the best in them and that will appreciate their beauty and goodness. A simple “thank you” may express appreciation for one’s efforts. A “You can do it” remark may encourage and motivate someone to pursue his goal. A “very good” comment may challenge someone to give his best. Don’t be stingy in affirming your friends and love ones. Words can make and transform a person. Words can give life and hope. Words can inspire people. And so, what are you waiting for? Open you lips, tell your spouse, your kids, your friends, your parents, your co-workers and the people around you how special, beautiful and awesome they are.
Words fuel, animate and energize a relationship. Verbal communication is essential in strengthening your relationship! Speak your partner’s love language! Affirm and appreciate him/her!

I’m recommending this book. Check it out and know the love language of your kids.