One time, my 15-year old nephew asked me a question that surprised me. I was not expecting that he would ask me this question, “Does my father love me?” I did not see any valid reason for him to ask me this. Without second thoughts, I answered “Yes, of course, he loves you so much.” Then, I began rationalizing, groping for answers and providing explanations to convince him that his father loves him very much. I told him that his father has been working hard just to provide for his needs. During birthdays, holidays and special occasions his father would never forget to give him gifts. His father would give him any amount of money he would ask from him. His father sent him to a prestigious school for him to have a good education and bright future. His father would buy him expensive branded clothes. His father hired 2 nannies who would take care of him. I even told my nephew that he is luckier that other kids because he has a dad who is a responsible person and good provider. After hours of debate and persuasion that seemed would not end, he did not change his conviction as if he did not hear anything from me. He still doubted his father’s love for him. Why?
Since I was not able to convince him after all the efforts of I did, I asked him the reason for asking the question. He gave me a simple answer that made me rethink, “I have all the things that I need, but my father is not always there for me.” This shocked me and made me pause and reflect. I realized that my nephew has a point. What would he do with all the expensive stuff and the large amount of money he has if he seldom sees his father. Even though his father is so sincere in expressing his love to my nephew through gifts this love will not be appreciated and recognized. For a long time the father has not loving his child in the way the child wants to be loved. And so, the child does not feel his love. Quality time is love language of the child.
Quality time is spending time with each other with undivided attention. It’s not simply eating together, playing together, or doing something together. It’ “being” together. It’s a “being-to-being” encounter, a person-to-person encounter. The activities we do together may not matter more. It’t the quality of time we spend together. The activities that we do are just opportunities or instruments through we can share ourselves with each other. It’s not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality of time.
When we spend quality time with our loved ones, we enter into another world where there are no paper works, deadlines, meetings, work stress, business pressure, memos, etc. It’s a realm where only you and your loved ones exist. We share our stories, joys, griefs, sorrows, dreams, triumphs, secrets, and our very own selves with each other. No phone calls, worries, fears, customers, bosses, etc. can disturb us. It’s a radical stop from the daily routine of life. It’s a special world where love, joy, peace and intimacy overflow. A minute of Quality Time cannot be compared with a thousand days of Time spent with divided attention and disruptions!
How much QUALITY TIME have you spent with your loved ones? It’s time to invest you time in your relationships!
Friends, I want to recommend you this book in helping you deepen your relationship with your loved ones. This book has done a lot of marvelous things in my life! I hope it will help you as well!