Hi friend! I’ve heard of news of couples who used to be filled with love, and who passionately loved each other, but eventually got separated. The sparks on their eyes which they had when they first met dwindled and lasted only for a couple of years. Their hearts which were once on fire, ended up cold and apathetic. They used to kiss and embrace each other. Saying “I love you” had become their morning ritual and evening lullaby for years. People would consider them as a perfect couple for the love they showed to each other. What happened? What’s wrong?

They did not know each other’s love language. No matter how much love one has for the other, and no matter how often one expresses it, it would still be nothing if one does not know the other’s love language. Love is not merely a feeling that fades. It is a language that needs to be learned, communicated and recognized. There are 5 languages in human relationship. Please refer to my previous post about this. I will be explaining each language and how to express each well in my succeeding posts.

How do you know your own (or your partner’s) love language? These are three things that you need to observe and study to know your own love language.

First, observe how you express more often your love to your partner. What are you fond of doing for your partner? This is the manner you express your love. You do it naturally and spontaneously, without being told and taught because this is who you are. This is how your love tank is built for. (I will explain what love tank is in my next posts) It is part of your system, and so you don’t have to think and decide when you do it. It comes out spontaneously. Have you caught yourself hugging your partner without any reason at all? Or giving your partner gifts even though there are no occasions and special events?
Second, notice what you complain about the most. You complain about it always because it is something you want to be appropriately addressed. You always perceive and talk about it, and not ignore it, because it matters to you. Do you and your partner always fight because he/she is always busy with a lot of things, and so having no time to spend together? Do you always complain about your partner not remembering your birthday and anniversary?
Lastly, know what you always ask/request from your partner. You most often ask for it because it will bring you joy and satisfaction. No matter how petty and small it is, you would fight for it, just to have it. It’s the way you want to be loved by your partner. The quantity, amount and frequency may not be counted and may not matter as long as love is expressed in the manner you want to be loved. Have you noticed your partner wondering why you’re crazy about a cheap chocolate being given to him/her on special occasion? Is your partner perplexed why you love to be with him/her for hours, doing nothing and talking about nothing?
Now, you know your love language, it’s time to know your partner’s love language. In my next post, I will be sharing with you a quiz/survey you have to take, or let your partner take to know your or his love language.
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