There is an age old quote, “No man’s an island”. As human beings, we are dependent on one another for our needs. Hence it becomes very important for one to maintain a smooth relationship with all. Sustaining a relationship is a difficult task but making one is more difficult. How can we get around making friends? It’s not a matter of money. You can’t just pay people to have relationships with you. It is a matter of emotion and understanding.

 We shall now see how to build a relationship. There are five golden rules to build a relationship:

1.)    Listen to people: Listening, in this context doesn’t mean obeying what others say. It simply means truly listening to them. Suppose you are at a friend’s party where there are a lot of people whom you don’t know. Who knows? One of them could turn out to be a prospective business client, or a good friend or even your prospective spouse. Just listening to them in conversation would help you get to know them better.

 2.)    Be expressive:  Try not to be shy at social gatherings. Try to give an opinion on a topic and express your feelings as you may have a valid point that could benefit others. Express yourself in an easily understandable manner and put forward your thoughts well. Someone might like your language, your style or your opinions. Someone may like you enough to want to form a friendship with you.

 3.)    Make the best use of technology: Technology has completely changed our way of life. What took weeks and months a few centuries ago can now be done within seconds. Making use of the internet when looking to establish friendships is an excellent idea, particularly when social networking sites such as Facebook are available. Being a regular user of Facebook, I can assure that you will be able to find old friendships from school and form new friendships with like minded people. A few decades ago, finding pen pals was something a lot of people did. Now it is networking and forming friendships online.   

 4.)    Learn to judge people: You may have come across many sayings such as ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ and ‘Appearances are deceptive’. This is hundred per cent true. A person might look handsome and suave yet be a beast in real life. On the other hand, a person might look mean and nasty yet be talented and sweet once you get to know them. So try not to judge people on looks alone, but rather, spend some time getting to know them, and if you like them, work on building a relationship or friendship with them. True friendships are hard to come by in life so when you find one it is worthwhile looking after.   

 5.)    Be understanding: Never be rigid. Be flexible when it comes to relationships. Try to see an issue or topic from their point of view. Forgive people readily and don’t harbour thoughts of revenge in your mind. Above everything else, accept your friends for who they truly are, there will always be personality traits you may not like, but overall if your friendship is important to you, you will overlook those little things that annoy you and your friend will do the same of you. 

  

Breaking Up Gracefully

 

1. Don’t Shift the Blame

When you do not feel the same towards your partner and you want to break up, you often find yourself distancing from him/her.  This distancing is usually displayed as being prickly or over critical and can involve going out with friends and trying to spend time away from the other.

This is the beginning of the end.  This behavior is quite hurtful to the other party and can leave them feeling vulnerable and hurt.  If you know you are shutting down emotionally, the responsible thing to do is to tell your soon to be ex-partner as soon as you know.

2. Don’t Force Them to Dump You

If you are the person who wants to leave then be adult about it and say so, don’t force your partner to be the one to want out, particularly when you know he/she doesn’t want this.  It is a cowards approach.  People often do this by flirting with others, putting their partner down and more.  Basically doing everything that they know their partner would hate so it drives the partner to the point where they can no longer put up with the treatment.

3. Be Upfront

If you want to break up then do so face to face.  Treat your partner with respect and so that he or she has closure.  So must is lost via a text message or email, as the person is unable to see any body language at the time. 

4. Don’t Give Mixed Messages

If you have made the decision to break up with your partner then ensure you clearly explain that the relationship is over, and keep the distance for a period of time after.  It is often too easy for your partner to get mixed messages especially if he/she is texting you and you resist for a week then suddenly respond.  This tends to give the person false hope and sends them the wrong single as they are still in a vulnerable state.

5. It’s Over That’s It

So if it’s over there is no hanging out with one another.  If you start hanging out a week after the breakup this will only serve to extend the pain of the breakup.  You must set clear boundaries, such as a period of time without any contact so the person understands there is no chance of reconciliation.

6. Don’t be Cruel

If there is a specific reason like you can’t stand the way he chews his food with his mouth open, or you hate the way she flirts with men every time you go out, probably better not to go into  specifics at this time, but rather just end it gracefully.

For Women: A Guide to Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship!

 

 

 

 

For Men:  A Guide to Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship!