Blended Family Issues – Can they be Overcome?

 A subject a little too close to home for me I guess, the blended family which is defined as “blending families with children” is a little over looked in terms of  guidance and support. By that I mean you take 2 people from 2 marriages both with children, put them together and try to call them a family???

Come on, who are we kidding? Blending families just isn’t that simple as some of us who have been there know too well, there can be many blended family issues that neither parent is aware of before making the commitment.

Problems with blended families

I believe with all my heart that as much as the two people involved want the “new” family to get along, and as parents do everything in their power to ensure that happens, the simple fact remains: THESE CHILDREN ARE NOT NATURAL SIBLINGS.  You cannot expect that the children are going to “fit together” naturally, they are a blend of two families and as such are bound to have various blended family issues.  Let’s not forget that they each have another parent! 

Blended families need to think through ways to cope with contact between children and the other parents. Many children in these situations embrace the new family but many do not.  Many children simply don’t want a new step-mother or step-father let alone step-siblings!

Blended family issues are complex and new family relationships take time to form and build upon.  Living in and being part of a blended family situation is a process that will take years to become accustomed to, you cannot expect an instant family.

Are you Ready to be a Step-Parent?

Having been a step-mother to 4 children older than my own 3 I can honestly say that dealing with step children is extremely challenging and from my own personal perspective, something I do not wish to repeat. 

Parenting step children is very challenging and I learned the hard way that children can be extremely hurtful and have the power to inflict a great deal of harm, should they choose to. If you do find yourself in the step-parent situation and your step children don’t live with, when you do see them there are many things you can do to attempt to win their hearts. This resource is very handy and full of great ideas to improve your relationship with your step-children.

Should We Get Help Before we Attempt This?

Absolutely ! To be honest I believe any couple wishing to “blend” a family and potentially avoid blended family issues really should undergo some form of training course to ensure they are fully equipped for all the trials and tribulations that will unfold.

Children of these families should also undergo some form of education before being put into this situation and as an ongoing measure to ensure they manage to navigate their way through it.

From my experience in blending families with children there are so many issues to be considered they are too numerous to mention.  I will say though that if you have younger children and older children or teenage children added to the mix it is VITAL that the parents remember they are NOT natural siblings. 

 Too often older children or teenagers are put in positions of responsibility and therefore expose young children to many potential situations.

I do intend putting together an online course designed for those intending to become a blended family.  Although written from the perspective of a parent, my adult children will add the positives and negatives from their perspectives.

Stay tuned as my e-book will be completed and available in early 2012! In the meantime I can suggest to you the following resource that may be helpful:

Recommended Resource:

By MaryAnn Roche.