When you take care of yourself, it slows the aging process and you can stay fit and alert well into your senior years.

The major areas to focus on to maintain  optimum health are diet, exercise and activity that keeps your brain active. When you pay attention to these key health elements, you can help yourself to stay young and slow down the aging process.

Here are some excellent anti-aging techniques for you to try daily:

1. Take antioxidants as they are vital to your health. They reduce free radicals that are known to contribute to common diseases in aging individuals.
  Note that fresh fruit and vegetables are an excellent source of antioxidants.  Including a daily vitamin is also important.

2. Exercise and strength training. Exercise keeps your body strong and helps fight off any infection and stops the body from breaking down. Not only will you feel better, but you’ll also get a lot healthier at the same time!

Exercise provides:

* Increased stamina
* Greater muscle strength
* Better balance
* Clarity in thinking
* A stronger immune system

3. Stay alert and sharp. You can keep your brain sharp by being constantly aware of your surroundings. This sounds rather simple, but how often do we let loose and daydream, instead of focusing on the present? When you stay alert, you’re fully present in the moment and you’re better able to make quick and accurate decisions.  Undertake activities such as puzzles and crosswords that help keep your brain active.

4. Try to constantly learn new things. Remember your brain need constant stimulation. You can easily avoid this by keeping your brain active via constant learning and reading.

* A simple tip is to vary your routines and strive to learn something new each day.

5. Challenge yourself. It always helps to use the problem solving portions of your brain. These skills need to be utilized and if they aren’t, will fade over time.  Puzzles and games are a great way to keep your brain active.

6. Don’t stress over health issues. You see statistics everywhere about certain health conditions that are more likely to affect you as you age. Of course it is important to be aware and to always  be checked by your physician, but don’t waste your precious time worrying about an illness you may never get.
* Ease your stress by taking action to strengthen your health instead of worrying.

7. Get an adequate amount of sleep. Getting enough sleep at night is very important for maintaining good health. 6-8 hours every night is the number you should be working toward. Your body and mind need that time to recoup, and you may be more susceptible to stress or disease without it.

8. Avoid smoking and drinking alcohol. Smoking is a guaranteed way of putting your health at risk and not only that, but it ages your skin and the rest of your body. The harsh reality is that you are shortening your lifespan if you choose to smoke. If you do smoke, then I would strongly suggest breaking this habit as soon as possible. When it comes to alcohol, small amounts here and there won’t cause much harm, but drinking can be a slippery slope into disease if you abuse it.

9. Look after your skin.  I cannot stress this enough, you must moisturize and moisturize and stay out of the sun.  The sun quite simply will age and damage your skin, quicker than anything.  Be sure to establish a daily skin care routine and try beneficial anti-aging gels and creams.

10. Reduce grains and sugar in your diet. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables maintains good health and keeps your calorie intake at an acceptable level. Remember, carbohydrates are necessary for your nutrition, but is eaten in excess they contribute to increasing your insulin levels and speeding up the aging process.

If you include these strategies every day, you’ll notice a big difference in the way you look and feel. Getting older doesn’t have to be synonymous with deterioration. Begin right now to take care of your body and mind and it will serve you well in your later years.

By

MaryAnn Roche

There are many forms of guided relaxation techniques available to each one of us and it’s simply a matter of find the method that best suits us.

How much do you really suffer stress?

Well maybe you don’t really think you suffer from stress but let’s see. Do you jump in your car or catch the train or the bus to get to work?  Or are you lucky enough to live around the corner from your workplace and you can simply stroll into work? If you are like most people the daily commute to work can often be a stress.  what if you are a Mum with litte ones at home, all needing your attention and you not getting enough sleep!  What about the stress of medical bills, or phone bills or electricity bills.  And what about the new stress of trying to find work in a world where things have become so difficult?

If you arent suffering any form of stress then to be honest I would really like to hear from you!  Let me know where you live, and I am moving there lol.

Learning to Relax

A lot of us actually find relaxing difficult, as we rarely give ourselves permission to just be.  Just to sit and listen to soft music, or lie on the couch for ten minutes  without interruption.  Close your eyes and allow your mind to wander and thoughts to come in and out. Can you actually just allow yourself this quiet time? If you try to do this every day after a while your mind and body will learn to relax.  Welcome to the world of guided relaxation!

Can you reduce stress?

Realizing and understanding your stress is the key. When you tap into what your stresses are, you can then find the resources you need to lead you to guided relaxation.  It’s generally not a one size fits all theory. Firstly before looking out its probably important to look within. Stilling yourself and finding peace within you comes first.

Another important factor in reducing stress is the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate.  Our world is so pressure filled and it sometimes feels that there aren’t enough hours in the day to catch up on rest and relaxation.  By pushing yourself too hard and solving problems and running around you are not allowing yourself enough time for the mind and body to relax.

External relaxation is often found in the form of yoga.  It is a self-teaching exercise and you learn to stretch your muscles and joints which helps in relieving overall tension.

There are so many great books and CD’s about yoga on the net.  Sounds True is a Company I can recommend and they are currently offering a discount on their yoga products:

There is also a form of yoga referred to as Nidra Yoga which is a form of yoga that allows you to melt away the tensions and pressures of everyday life while at the same time repairing and recharging your mind and body, leaving you refreshed and relaxed.

Finding material that guides you to relaxation:

To get the information  you need to get started on learning about relaxation, you can find a wealth of resources online. Books videos, mp3’s and courses – all there for you to choose from.  In fact you will find a great source of soothing relaxation music at music source.

If you know you are suffering stress, then don’t wait to do something about it!  Stress is a hidden danger, bad for your help and can kill you slowly if you don’t start eliminating it from your life. It can tend to take over and control your life in so many ways.

Begin by looking at the stress you are suffering, make a list of those things you would like to undertake in the form of guided relaxation and DO IT!

By

MaryAnn Roche.

Studies show that those who don’t seem to understand stress and the repercussions, often suffer more problems than those who do.

Guided Relaxation:

Guided relaxation is a process designed to help you manage your level of stress and daily activities. Sometimes when you feel completely and utterly overwhelmed, stress takes takes hold and practising the art of guided relaxation can help you to keep stress in perspective.

Discovering Guided Relaxation:

You can go online and check out guided relaxation products. Some of the products offered include eye pillows. Eye pillows are terrific for refreshing your eyes and relieveing stress. I know for me, often stress causes insomnia and headaches and I try to keep an eye pillows handy to relieve my stress. I have a great herbal pillow filled with lavender seeds, which not only enduces sleep but helps relive puffy eyes!  The herbal pillows are usually made of smooth satin and helps to relieve tension. You can also use the pillows as an acupressure cooling system. Lavender is my favorite, however these pillows are created with Rosemary, Chamomile, Peppermints, Basils and refreshing Marjoram.

Stress can have you feeling tired and worn out at the end of the day. To relieve stress you have to find the guided relaxation tools that work best for you. The most fundamental thing you can do when combatting stress, is to eat right, exercise daily and to stay away from chemicals and substances like alcohol and drugs.

Online you will find the CDs designed for guided relaxation. These CDs are specially designed to help you to enjoy living as you unwind to the sounds of the forest or the ocean. The CDs are therapeutic and teach you how to relax your mind at a deep level. A guided relaxation CD trains your mind and body to relax and unwind. In doing so you learn how to tune out your problems. Your adrenaline relaxes as your nervous system experiences the sensation of relaxing sounds or music.

Guided relaxation CDs are available and when used regularly you will experience peace and harmony in your life. Peace and harmony is vital to have in your everyday life and helps keep your life in balance. In undertaking guided meditation, you calm your mind while at the same time allowing your creative mind to happen. Generally on a guided relaxation CD there is a soothing and calming voice that helps you to develop new ways to relieve stress and to teach you how to listen to your body’s inner self.

Not only do you need to learn to relax as an individual but it helps to have a relaxed and stress free home.  If you don’t, or you don’t know how to achieve this, there is a great article to be found here on easy ways to create a happy relaxed home.

By

MaryAnn Roche

The stress of gaining income, providing for a family, getting to work everyday in peak hour traffic, the stress of studying at school, at University, the stress of being a young girl in a society where you are accepted if you are thin and pretty, the list of stress just goes on and on.

I was just talking to my daughter earlier today about stress and explaining to her that although this level of stress is everywhere, there is another stress that people tend to not acknowledge or not even be aware of.  I am referring to the stress we place on ourselves everyday.  It is almost what I call an internal stress that we place  upon ourselves which to me can often be worse than the external stress we all have to live with everyday.

The stress we place on ourselves in the workplace – is my work up to standard, am I working hard enough everyday, will I get a promotion, am I earning enough money. As a parent  we place enormous stress upon ourselves, are we a good parent, am I teaching my children the right thing, what if I get this parenting thing all wrong, and so it goes.

I think external stress is much easier to deal with if perhaps we can firstly relieve the pressure a little but reducing our internal stress.  One of the most effective ways to do this, in my opinion, is through meditation.

I am a firm believer in meditation and truly believe it calms and stills our mind, and brings our mind to rest.  Sure the external stress still goes on, but taking that twenty minutes or so out of our day, to quieten our mind and relax our body, helps us cope with those external pressures much easier.  It also allows us to know what external stress  is really worth worrying about.

I find that if we can just allow ourselves some quiet me time on a daily basis, to do just  a very simple uncomplicated meditation, our overall functioning is greatly improved. It helps us to be better partners, daughters, sons, parents and so on.

I genuinely believe we can quiet down our lives, or simplify our lives and eliminate stress for our daily existance.

By

MaryAnn Roche

There are many things you can do in order to build loving ties that stand the test of time. It’s a great way to teach your children trust. When you nurture a positive relationship with your children, it’ll be far more likely that they’ll continue to build happy and healthy relationships as adults in the years ahead.

Here are some ways to forge loving ties with your children:

1. Show them your gratitude. You may feel gratitude for your children always, but it’s what you project to them that really counts. Ensure you verbally and physically show them that gratitude. When you do, they will receive the loving message that you care about them.

2. Demonstrate respect. Respect your children, just as you expect them to respect you. They will come to appreciate the saying, “treat people in the manner in which you would like to be treated”.

3. Love your children unconditionally. There will certainly be times when your children frustrate or disappoint or anger you, but make it clear to them that you still love them irrespective of anything they do. It doesn’t mean you condone their behavior, but it does mean that whenever they do the wrong thing, you still love them no matter what, you simply dont like what they are choosing to do at the time.

4. Make time for your children. It is too easy to become busy with your everyday life and end up doing what needs to be done for your children instead of making the time to actively participate in the activities they enjoy. Ask them what they’d like to do and get involved in their life. This is a great way to bond with your child and to really get to know them.

5. Encourage them. When they face a challenge, this is an opportunity for you to step up and assist. Be there to encourage them in the right direction without being too pushy. Provide them with words of encouragement and let them know how much you believe in their abilities.

6. Help them build confidence and independence. Always remind them that they can accomplish anything with a positive mindset. Encourage independence in your children so they can remain confident and stand on their own to feet, and learn to truly believe in themselves.

7. Listen to your children. They have many important lessons, ideas, and stories to share! When they know that you’re truly listening to them, they also know that you care and love them.

8. Make dinner together. Having meals together as a family is important because many times that’s the only time of day where everyone can be together. Rather than silence or making small talk, use the opportunity to share love and support and to talk about their day. Use this time once again to get to know them a little better, while teaching them the importance of this loving time that is set aside everyday in their lives.  Later in life, your children will cherish these wonderful family dinners.

9. Lock in family time. Establish regular opportunities dedicated to building memories with your family. Have each family member choose an activity to enjoy together. Laughing and having fun with one another will help to build ties that last forever.

When you use these tips to show your family how much you care, the feelings are more likely to become mutual.

Spend individual one on one time with each member of your family and get involved in each other’s lives so as to connect on a deeper level. It is these moments you children will carry with them to adulthood and pass on to their children.

By MaryAnn Roche

In a fast pacedworld where everything keeps accelerating and becoming more complicated, it is important to deepen your meditation experience.

With regular practise you will find you will be able to go deeper into meditation without too much effort.

As you practise, you will become more disciplined at dealing with distractions and achieve a certain depth of meditation in a shorter period of time. If you practise meditation for just 20 minutes per day, you will discover that your meditation experience will become deeper and you will become more centered.

Deepening Your Experience

You may be wondering what it means to deepen your meditation experience. It’s definitely a topic that is difficult to sum up in words. It is similar to talking about how to deepen and intensify their ;ove. If you have been in love you will know in your heart how it feels to experience the depth of such emotion. The same is true when you meditate, you will very quickly know what it feels like when your meditation experience deepens.

Tactics For Deepening Your Meditation Experience

If you want to go beyond regular practice to deepen your meditation skills, you can try other tactics.

Consider these suggestions as you deepen your meditation experience:

 1. Focus.

A big part of deepening your experience is working on improving your focus. Find something that works for you.

* Begin by experiencing eyes open meditation. Meditate with a small focal point and don’t let your gaze go astray during your session. You can also try eyes open meditation without the need for a focal point; this may help you to keep your focus within.
 

 2. Your breath.

Your breath is also a part of your focus. It is how you break up your life into a series of moments. Take a moment to breathe in the good and a moment to exhale the not so good. In order to deepen your meditation experience, experiment with various breathing techniques.

* Work on the length of your breaths. Some people decide to work with their moods when they work on breath length. It’s a way to just go with how you feel, instead of deciding on a set pattern of breathing.

* Use a mantra. There are many mantras to choose from or you can even create your own depending on how you feel at the time or what you like.

 3. Your posture.

Your posture also has an impact on how deep your meditation experience will go. Choose a position that’s comfortable for you.

* During sitting meditation, it’s always a good idea to maintain good posture. This means: Don’t slouch! The location of your legs usually doesn’t matter as much.

* If you maintain a good posture without hunching over, you tend to maintain your alertness and you’ll be less likely to fall asleep.

Remember your goal is to remain in the present moment and not simply to relax.

Keep Up Your meditation exprience daily.  Tweak and fine tune all aspects of your meditation experience however I find if you simply practise daily, your meditation experience will naturally evolve the way it was intended.

BY

MaryAnn Roche

Studying successful people to watch what they do, particularly those you admire. These individuals are living proof that whatever you dream can indeed become a reality. Think for a moment of someone who has achieved the level of success that you want in your life. Really look at what they have done right but also look at the mistakes they have made along the way. It then makes it easier to achieve if someone has already paved the way for you! If you can, find a way to ask successful people questions.

You will learn an enormous amount about the properity mindset and you may be surprised to know that successful people enjoy being a source of inspiration for others. They already know that there is success enough for everyone, which is indeed the prosperity mindset in action. Believing in yourself and maintaining a positive approach to life all the while being focused on the big picture. Actually see yourself achieving these goals and really feel how it feels.

Surround yourself only with positive people so you are always upbeat and uplifted. Write your own life of prosperity affirmations. And when a new opportunity presents itself be open to it to allow it to flow to you. Stay motivated alawys and never be afraid of change.

Setting Goals And Action Plans

You can dream all day about where you’d like your life to go, but you must have a goal or an outcome for it to happen. Take some time out to think about the big picture and what you want in your life, and begin writing down how you see yourself getting there. Break down your goals into small achieveable steps. As much as humanly possible stick to your plan and never give up.

You must be dedicated, driven and committed to achieving the end result and let nothing stand in your way of success. When you talk to or study the actions of a successful person, they will undoubtedly tell you stories of their many failures. There were probably countless occasions when they felt like throwing the towel in and walking away, but they were strong enough to push through defeat. Realize that everyone no matter who you are, reaches a point in the life at least once, when they feel like giving up, but you simply cannot allow those feelings to rule your life. Sure life is difficult at times but always maintain the image of your goal in your mind.

Adjust your goal slightly if you need to, but ensure you continue taking action toward your goal always.

Get A Life Coach

People with prosperity mindsets are varied and all have different approaches to getting what they want out of life, and each have varying definitions of what prosperity is for them. There if a commonality though, they are all hungry to succeed in life and have a positive attitude to life and will continue with drive and determination to achieve their goals. If you feel that you lack any of the above and still need help developing a prosperity mindset, you could always employ the services of a life coach, who will assist you in breaking down your concerns and work together with you to build a plan tailored specifically for you.

Of course if you choose to do so you must implement this plan and remain dedicated and committed in order to obtain that prosperity mindset.

By

MaryAnn Roche

Are mornings the the most difficult part of your day? Some of us find it tough to get going in the mornings no matter how much sleep we have had.

If you are a Mum and you need to get children dressed, fed and out the door with backpacks and school books, mornings can be very grueling. Now even if you aren’t a morning person, there are some strategies that you can engage that will help you feel motivated and looking forward to the day, as opposed to dreading it.

Try the following tips to help you cope with those challenging early mornings:

1. Get to bed on time the night before to ensure you are getting enough sleep. Of course, sometimes even if you have had your required sleep, you will still feel weary in the morning when you wake, but that may be due to the actual quality of sleep you are getting. This could be the very reasson why you can’t get up with a smile on your face in the mornings. So get to bed on time for a week and monitor yourself in the mornings to determine if you feel any different.

2. Try waking up earlier, I know its the last thing you want to do but this might give you a little more time in the mornings to get organised. If you’re trying to squeeze every possible moment of sleep into your schedule, when you do get up you have to madly rush around, which is too stressful first thing in the morning. Much better to wake up and allow yourself a very quiet, calm moments before your feet hit the floor! Enjoy the sunrise while you have a leisurely cup of coffee, before the rush begins.

3. Preparation. Get organised for the morning the night before. Do whatever you can the night before to make your mornings easily and less stressful.Make sure your keys are in the usual spot, make the lunches and organise the backpacks, and have everyone’s clothes laid out. That way when you wake in the morning there is much less to be stressed about!

4. Turn some music on. My music teacher always taught me to make sure I had music in the house with my children. Nice relaxing music in the morning can be a beautiful way to start your day. It can ease you gently into the day whilst keeping you calm, even if you are busy! Enjoying these first few moments that you’re awake can make a massive difference to your entire day.

5. Meditate. Meditation is great for calming your life down or slowing your life down. It allows you to center yourself and go back to a state of peacefulness which in turn can carry you throughout your day. I would recommend though that you mediate in an upright position so you’re not tempted to fall back asleep.

6. Try to develop a positive mindset. If you have a tendency to be grumpy in the morning, make a conscious decision to start your day in a positive way. Try to imagine the wonderful things that may come your way today. If you have something not so pleasant that you have to face then try to focus on all other aspects of your day which are positive.

7. Be thankful. Start your day by giving thanks for everything you have in your life. Being grateful sets the tone for the day.

If mornings just arent your thing, try to make them easier on yourself and others by remembering to use these strategies and I think you will be surprised at the difference they will make!.

By

MaryAnn Roche.

In some very bad cases, Psoriasis can be found anywhere on the body and sometimes all over the body. It is not contagious, but there are 5 forms of psoriasis –

• Plaque Psoriasis (the most common form)
• Pustular Psoriasis
• Guttate Psoriasis
• Erythrodermic Psoriasis
• Inverse Psoriasis

Generally a sufferer has only one of the above at any given time. That’s not to say thought that if one from of Psoriasis clears, another will generally appear in response to some trigger.

It would appear that the sufferer’s immune system is inadvertently triggered, appearing to cause swift acceleration of skin cell growth. Rather than a normal skin cell taking approximately 29 days to mature prior to being shed by the body, a skin cell in a psoriasis sufferer only takes 3 or 4 days to establish and rather than shedding this skin cell , the cell piles up on the surface of the skin, forming psoriasis lesions.

What you see are red, raised patches on the skin covered with a silvery white buildup of dead skin cells. Psoriasis is sometimes associated with other severe health conditions, such as heart disease and diabetes.

3% of the populations are sufferers which in Australia means more than 600,000 people. In the USA, some 8-9 million people are sufferers. (According to the National Institutes of Health). You can experience Psoriasis at any age (even as a baby) but it generally tends to present itself in both males and females, in their late teens or early twenties. Many sufferers do grow out of the condition over time but others do not and some tend to have a second peak when they reach their fifties.

WHAT CAUSES PSORIASIS?

Similar to many other skin conditions the exact cause of Psoriasis appears to be unknown. Research indicates that a combination of a person’s immune system and genetics contributes to the development of Psoriasis. Although only 2-3 % of the population develops Psoriasis, it is suspected that 10% or more actually inherit one or more of the genes that create a predisposition to Psoriasis. Apart from being genetically predisposed to Psoriasis, the condition will not appear to develop without some exposure to external triggers. A little like epilepsy, the triggers seem to be specific to the sufferer. However the known Psoriasis triggers include infection, some medications, injury and stress.

If you suffer from Psoriasis, check with your doctor as to any medications you may be taking that could worsen the condition. Known as the Koebner phenomenon (also called the “Koebner response” or the “isomorphic response”), Psoriasis can develop in areas of the skin that have been injured or traumatized in some way.

COMMON TREATMENTS FOR PSORIASIS

Common treatments for Psoriasis are:

Over-The-Counter Medications – sold without a prescription from the Doctor, there are hundreds of products, creams, lotions and treatments for the scalp.  Generally most of these do not appear to work and are usually full of chemicals and toxins which can actually inflame the situation.

Prescription Medications –Given under the guidance of a Doctor they can only be received via a Doctor’s prescription. These medications have unreliable results but none are actually a cure for Psoriasis.

Other Treatments- Ultraviolet phototherapy systems are used for treating Psoriasis, and is the application of mid wave light energy (Ultraviolet-B light [UVB]) or long wave light (Ultraviolet-A [UVA]). While Ultraviolet phototherapy appears to slow down abnormal growth of normal skin cells there is risk associated. Exposure to UV light over prolonged periods is known to increase the chances of contracting skin cancer.

WHAT IS THE PRODUCT FOR PSORIASIS?

Tamanu or more specifically, Tamanu Oil (scientific name is Calophyllum Inophyllum) is a relatively undiscovered solution for several skin care problems. One of which is Psoriasis. There has been numerous studies on Tamanu Oil, however the research has been limited, due in the most part to the product not being known outside Pacific Island countries such as Vanuatu.

Sufficient scientific studies have been conducted in Europe and the USA to know that Tamanu oil has the distinctive capacity to encourage the formation of new skin tissue and that it contains anti-inflammatory, anti-neuralgic, antibiotic and antioxidant properties. It is also completely natural, no chemicals or toxins.

To learn more about Tamanu Oil and its natural healing qualities go to: http://www.volcanicearth.com.au/skin-problems.html and download your FREE Report.

By MaryAnn Roche

Men and intimacy – do they go together?  Intimacy for men appears to be complicated.  When I was born I had 7 older brothers and another followed not long after my birth, and my father was very much a man’s man, and instilled in his sons the need to display a strong masculine identity.  I remember any signs of tenderness or softness was quickly squashed by him.  Therefore my brothers grew up believing they had to be macho and tough and the last thing they should do is display any intimacy at all when in a relationship. Men and intimacy in that instance is difficult as a man would find it hard to find the right balance between the two.

However for men to truly experience a loving and intimate relationship, men and intimacy have to learn how to be.

The need to bond with a significant other is very strong; however for men these feelings of romance and desiring another and sharing their innermost feelings can spark a genuine fear for a man.  I wonder, is it really fear or just that fundamentally men and women are very different.  We as women seem to crave intimacy whereas perhaps a man needs intimacy less than us?

To be honest I think it’s a little of both.  You go on a date with someone, you go on a second date with them, you may or may not have sex, everything is going well until you realize you like this person, and you may even miss them a little when you’re not with them. What do you do?  Let’s face it, you can’t confide in your buddies and slowly but surely you feel the fear rise up in you.  How could this happen you are strong, independent and tough but suddenly you feel vulnerable and out of your depth.  At this point if you can keep your mind and your heart open, you will pass through this fear into the realm of intimacy.

Men and intimacy can definitely be achieved, if you as a man can drop your guard and allow yourself to feel exposed and vulnerable, and understand that you are no less macho for doing so.  The reward you will gain will be the deepest most intense relationship and sexual experience you could hope for.

If you are in a relationship and feel that intimacy is lacking and you would like to change the situation I can recommend a 7 step system called “Happy 365” put together by a couple who have been together 21 years and spent a lot of that time getting it wrong.  They stopped and re-evaluated their relationship and began getting it right and have spent considerable time sharing their experiences with others. Click here for more information.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Is it a few years on in your relationship and you have young children, a mortgage, work pressures and no time? Do you feel like there is no intimacy in your relationship? How will change this and are you really looking for more intimacy in your life?

Are you further down the track in your relationship and the kids have left home and you find yourself and your partner have completely lost the intimacy between you?

You can regain the intimacy in your relationship if you really want it, but it will require work and commitment for both parties.

Deciding firstly that you need to set aside time for intimacy is the first step. Then organising that time together and understanding that intimacy isnt just about sex. Sure sex plays an important part in it, but it is more about connecting again as a couple, remembering and reminiscing on why you got together in the first place. It’s about touching and holding and ultimately sex forms an important part of regaining that intimacy.

By MaryAnn Roche.

The difference between leaders is ears. Good leaders not only ask good questions, but they actually listen to the answers.

Ask people in your organization: “What does our organization REALLY reward?” Listening to the answer may help you achieve marked increased in results.

Rewards and punishments make up the drive shaft of any organization. But my experience of working with thousands of leaders during the past 23 years reveals that most of their organizations reward the wrong things.

Such organizations may pay lip service to rewarding people for what is viewed as the right things: getting results, getting the right results, getting the right results in the right ways. But what they may really reward, often in terms of promotions and job perks, are such things as the care and feeding of top leaders’ egos, political conniving, tyrannical leadership ….

Here is a way to transform wrong rewards into right results.

(1) Ask people in your organization what your organization REALLY rewards. The answers may surprise you. But don’t get caught up in those answers. Don’t make value judgments. At this stage, you are just an observer. Simply compile the list.

(2) Gauge each item on the list against results your organization really needs. Does it help get results? Does it detract from results?

Do it this way: Pick out a single item from your list. Describe the problem in the item and identify who controls its solution. Execute a “stop-start-continue” process. What reward do you stop, what do you start, and what do you continue?

You’ll get results, but don’t expect overnight success. Not only are many of these wrong rewards ingrained habits but changing them seldom achieves quick results. Still, keep asking, What does my organization really reward? In the long run, when tackling the challenges that comes with listening to the answers, you’ll be getting more results as well as sharpening your leadership skills.

(3) Ask, “What does your leadership really reward?” When your leadership rewards the wrong things, you’re getting a fraction of the results you’re capable of. However, since we see the faults of others more clearly than our own, it may be more difficult identifying and dealing with your own issues rather than your organization’s.

Do a 360 degree assessment. Select a single item from the list and apply the start-stop-continue process. Don’t simply eliminate the item. Such items can be grist for the results mill. Identify the problem in the item then have the solution be a tool that gets results.

Guaranteed you will get results. After all, you are eliminating a negative aspect of your leadership and replacing it with a results-producing one. When you make this a long term endeavor — going from item to item — results will come to you in new and often unexpected ways.

(4) Encourage the people you lead to question the rewards aspects of their own leadership. Be aware of their reactions to your encouragement. Do they see the questioning as meaningful to their jobs? Do they want their colleagues involved in such questioning? Do they want to have senior management question their own leadership?

If people want the questioning to be a regular part of their daily work, continue it. If they feel it has little value, call a time out. After all, if people believe they are powerless to change things in the organization, seismic questions like this will only frustrate and anger them, creating a hot house environment for cynicism to flower.

As you go forward:

–Cultivate among the people a common, self-reinforcing fervor for the questioning. Don’t force things. Be an observer and a supporter. Observe their reactions to the questioning and support their efforts to make it succeed.

–Encourage the development of networks of people taking the initiative to engage in the questioning together.

–Now and then, and especially in the beginning, set aside special times and places to have them focus exclusively on such questioning, making sure they continually link the answers to getting increases in results.

–Keep that linkage alive. This is not an academic exercise. It’s not meant to simply have people feel good or, on the other hand, vent their frustrations. It’s sole objective is to get MEASURABLE INCREASES IN RESULTS. If results are not forthcoming, have people refocus on the need for the questioning; and if you still are not receiving results, curtail or even eliminate it for awhile. You can always reactivate it when the time and the environment are more conducive to having it succeed.

–Avoid having the process deteriorate into name calling and finger pointing. The idea is not to use the questioning to get the goods on people or as a platform for emotional outbursts against the organization but instead for what it is meant to be, a powerful tool to get more results continually.

Mind you, people shouldn’t be spending inordinate amounts of time on the questioning. Nor should it be seen as a major, discrete effort, like an operations or marketing program. Just the opposite: It should be a natural part of everybody’s leadership activities. Constantly asking, Are we rewarding the right things? should eventually come as second nature.

2006 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

The author of 23 books, Brent Filson’s recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. – and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: “49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results,” at www.actionleadership.com

Coping with anger

If someone you love is showing anger now, or continues to show anger on a frequent basis, you must resist the urge to fight fire with fire. Fighting back will only make the situation explode and you and your loved one will find it increasingly difficult to come to a resolution.

Keep the following tips in mind as you deal with anger from someone you love:

1. Avoid reacting immediately. You shouldn’t let yourself explode with a burst of emotion. Anger can get heated quickly and you don’t want to respond rashly, whether it’s with anger, sadness, or resentment.

* Allow yourself time to cool down so you can approach the situation calmly and rationally.

2. Refuse to take things personally. There’s no doubt about it, this is hard to do when a loved one is hurling mud your way. It’s easier to avoid taking it personally from colleagues and strangers, but for those close to you, it’s hard not to take their opinions personally.

* Talk to your loved one about what they said. Explain how you see their actions as personal attacks. If they didn’t intend it as one, they’ll have a chance to explain themselves. 


* If they did mean to personally attack you, it’s important to work out the issue. What can you do to improve the situation so these outbursts won’t happen again?

3. Admit the problem. It’s also important for your loved one to admit that they have a problem with anger if it’s recurring. They may say they have control over it, but it’s only a matter of time before it flares up again and causes deeper wounds.

4. Help them cool down. Whether the anger is directed toward you or another person, step in and help them cool down before they lose control and let anger take over. While you may like them to develop these skills independently as they practice on their own, they may need your assistance in the beginning. You can help them reflect on their thoughts and feelings before they act.

5. Identify feelings. People don’t just immediately burst out in anger without a flood of emotions first. Help your loved one identify their triggers so they can put a halt on anger before it starts.

6. Teach healthy anger expressions. Anger is a part of life. However, it’s how we react and deal with anger that’s important.

Here are some healthy ways they can express and cope with anger:

* Write in a journal.
* Exercise – go for a jog or run when anger arises.
* Count to 10 and take several deep breaths before reacting.
* Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation.
* Express anger through art.
* Focus on the good of a situation.

It’s important to discover a coping mechanism that works for your loved one.

But remember Anger Management is as individual as anger itself. (explained here)

At the same time, you shouldn’t get lost in your loved one’s struggle with anger. You can go over some of the healthy anger expression techniques and implement them yourself as well. By becoming a model for your loved one, it just may be what they need to change. But if their anger turns violent, remove yourself from the situation immediately and seek professional help.

By helping your loved one learn and grow, you just may be able to strengthen your relationship and developer a lasting bond.

By

MaryAnn Roche

In understanding intimacy one needs to firstly understand that true intimacy is about connecting on a deep and intimate level with someone . Intimacy is about sharing your needs and desires and your inner most feelings with someone together with sharing your body.

Why do so many of us have trouble understanding Intimacy?

I suppose intimacy is not really someone we learn at school and sometimes things happen to us in our journey through life that cause us to fear intimacy.  For real intimacy to be achieved the basis is trust.  Trusting in yourself and trusting another person enough for them to know everything about you.  Everything about how you feel, what you like, what your fears are, to know and understand you physically on a sexual level.

Understanding intimacy and wanting to achieve it with someone takes courage and commitment and of course love. Courage to expose yourself to someone else, so they can truly see you for who you are. Understanding intimacy and wanting to achieve it certainly takes commitment, a dedication to the relationship, a willingness to grow and learn with and about the other person.

More tips on understanding and achieving intimacy can be found here.

When we begin a relationship intimacy is simple, we cannot seem to get enough of that person!  As time passes however and the relationship continues it is very easy to slip into complacency. Remember being in a relationship and being intimate with someone takes effort!

One of the most important ingredients in a successful intimate relationship is the ability to communicate.  Communicate when you like something the other person does not just when you don’t!  Communication sexually is just as important.

Understanding intimacy and achieving it with a partner brings a special bond, its the very basis for getting up each day, that passion and desire for another!

By

MaryAnn Roche

How you provide comfort will vary depending on the person you’re comforting and what it is they’ve gone through. However, there are basic tips to keep in mind when you’re consoling someone.

Here are some strategies to follow that can help you provide much-needed comfort to those you care about:

1. Uplift them. When someone is asking you for comfort, chances are that they’re not asking you for advice.  In reality, they just need someone to be there to satisfy their emotional needs.  Do not try to solve their problems unless you’re asked for advice. In that case, you’re free to provide any advice that you may feel you have to offer.

2. Listen well. It’s a good idea to try to develop your listening skills. Being a good listener is truly striving to understand what the other person is trying to express to you. Remember that you can provide a large degree of comfort just by lending an open ear to the person who is suffering.

3. Offer your unconditional help. Sometimes it can be a comfort just to know that the other person is there.  Tell the person that’s suffering that they can openly discuss their problems with you at any time they need help to get through the day.

4. Share a hug. It will depend on the relationship that you have with the person you’re comforting, but you can provide physical comfort with a hug. Hugs simply make people feel better and warm the heart! The human touch can melt the soul and say so much without words.

5. Be understanding. You may not know what it’s like to go through the particular tough time that you’re helping with, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t understand the pain they feel. Do your best to try and understand where this person is coming from.

Understanding Grief

If you’re helping a person deal with loss, you’ll also be helping them with their inner grief. Grief is a natural emotion to go through when you find yourself facing such things as a traumatic loss.

If you gain a better understanding of grief, you may be able to offer your comfort in a helpful thoughtful manner.

Stages of Grief

There are different stages of grief and different people spend varying amounts of time on each stage.  No two people are the same so there are no hard and fast rules.  Often the stages aren’t even expressed in the same order.

Grief normally starts with the initial shock of the loss, then accompanied by denial.  Then pain and anger sets in, which can last for long periods of time.  Depression can often set in before the person journeys into acceptance.

While you don’t want to push a person through the stages of grief too fast, do whatever you can to help them along the journey to acceptance. When a person is angry, be an open ear and reassure them. Help them see their problem or loss from a different perspective.

Depression can be difficult to overcome since the person tends to lose interest in the world around them.  Having you to rely on can make a difference. Show them that the world hasn’t given up on them, so they shouldn’t give up on themselves either.

With your support, and the help of a professional, eventually they will come to terms with and accept their loss.

By MaryAnn Roche.

The history of Hoodia as an appetite suppressant dates back to the nomadic Sans tribe in South Africa in 1966.  The CSIR in South Africa was conducting a study of indigenous foods that their Bushmen ate and stumbled upon Hoodia.  These tribesmen, when hunting could be gone for several days and knew that taking Hoodia would help relieve their hunger and thirst. These tribesmen never had cause to question the safety of Hoodia as they had been using it medicinally for some time.

In 1997 the CSIR patented the product.  The Hoodia supplement, in the last few years has become an incredibly popular appetite suppressant.  But does it actually work?

Well there has been much controversy firstly over various Hoodia products and the most important thing to note is that genuine 100% Hoodia Gordonii doesn’t come in an extract from.  It is important to note that there are lots of fakes out there when it comes to sourcing Hoodia Gordonii capsules so the simple real is look at the packaging and you should only see the core of the Hoodia Gordonii plant and the ingredients used to make up its capsules:  gelatib.  Anything else and it isn’t the genuine article!

There are quite a few reviews done on the various Hoodia products at this site, so you may want to take a look for yourself.  http://www.fatgherkin.com/index.php/Weight-Loss/weight-loss-supplements/unique-hoodia-diet-pills.html

So does taking Hoodia work?  Well as it is an appetite suppressant it reduces your calorie intake up to 2,000 calories so that’s a great start.  As it works on suppressing your appetite you will find that snacking between meals is no longer necessary as you aren’t actually hungry.  You know in the afternoon when you hit that low point and chocolate becomes so tempting?  When your tummy starts rumbling and no matter what you do to take your mind off sweat treats you have to make your way to the vending machine. Well not anymore!

By MaryAnn Roche

Well my babies are all grown now but looking back I can remember I wanted to do this fast.  However fast is not the answer.  You need to be able to drop that baby weight safely and over time so as not to deplete your energy level in the process.  We all know that night feeding and four hourly feeding throughout the day with a healthy baby is difficult enough let alone if you have another little one or two to care for!

I don’t know that reading the latest magazines for the celebrity diets is the way to go either!  You tend to gain an unrealistic view of how this is done, and forget the help these people get with nannies and housekeepers and more!

I have come across a product that I do believe is safe and effective. I would recommend it as the best how to drop that baby weight program out there.  For these reasons:

• You get to eat more often and lose weight
• 4 tricks that will propel your weight loss
• Understanding and sticking to portion control
• What and when to eat
• Understanding the role your mind plays in dropping weight

One thing I like about this program well, TWO things actually is the PRICE and the fact that if you are not satisfied you are given a 60-day Money Back Guarantee!

You can find the program here

Remember when it comes to how to drop that baby weight, you need to relax and understand that losing weight shouldn’t be about punishing yourself, or starving yourself particularly at a time when your body is recovering from the single most traumatic and miraculous event.

Take time to lose your baby weight, get plenty of rest, follow the program and you can then tell others how to drop that baby weight!

By MaryAnn Roche

The truth is that with a bit of careful research and forward planning, you can enjoy eating out at various places from fast food outlets up to the finest restaurants and still maintain a healthy diet.

Here are some important tips to bear in mind as you continue to enjoy eating out:

 1. Look for the light options on the menu.   Not all restaurants will offer such options, but a growing number of chain restaurants are promoting light alternatives without much searching.   You may even find light options marked on the menu.   You’ll soon find that light doesn’t always mean you’ll be giving up flavor, so go ahead and try the healthy alternative.

 2. Take half your dinner home.   Meals are being served in larger and larger portions all the time. Sometimes your meal won’t be unhealthy, but the size of your portion will be.  In an effort to avoid overeating and maintain a healthy diet simply ask your restaurant staff to serve you half the meal and box up the other half for you to take home with you.

3. Grilling is Great!   One way to eat smart is to opt for your food to be grilled instead of fried.  Fried foods have so many additional calories and fat. Grilled chicken or fish make great choices because they’re lean proteins and packed full of flavor so you stay on a healthy diet regime.

 4. Avoid drinking extra calories, if you are trying to stay healthy.   If you’re watching those calories, they add up very quickly once you add alcohol.  Drinking soda products or alcoholic beverages while you’re dining out can ruin a healthy diet and eating plan very easily.

 * Choosing water as an alternative is a wise move and then you’ll only need to worry about the calorie content of your meal.

 5. Be salad wise. You can choose a salad as your main dish as a way to lessen your calorie intake. You’ll probably find that there are bigger salads on the menu, which can be very satisfying, beyond the house or side salad. Many of them contain a bigger vegetable variety or meat such as chicken, beef or prawns.


 Ask them to serve your salad dressing on the side rather than on the salad.  That way you control the amount of dressing you put on your salad.    Remember, a little bit can go a long way. Avoid the creamy dressings. That’s the fatty stuff!

 6. Appetizers can make the meal. Most restaurants serve tasty appetizers, so you can order one of these as your main dish. If that’s not enough food, you might want to order two appetizers. Many times two appetizers will still be less food than a main course selection and be very satisfying and can help you maintain a healthy diet.

 7. Choose healthy sauces.  Be aware of the sauce in the dish of your choosing.   If you’re eating Italian always choose an option with a tomato-based sauce. This will provide you with a bigger benefit than a much richer cream based alternative. This is also the case when it comes to choosing your soups; avoid the cream based ones wherever possible.

 8. Include fruits and veggies with every meal.   They are an important part of a healthy diet for everyone,  so you should continue to seek them out when you’re making your selections at a restaurant. Steamed vegetables can be a great side dish, and fruits can likely be ordered in place of a dessert item.   Often they are served very differently, therefore making them a treat to eat!

 If you find along the way you need some guidance, I recommend you go to STRIP THAT FAT website and take a look at their product offering, it may be just what you need!

Keep in the mind the same healthy information you use when cooking at home to order your meals while you’re out.   Don’t be afraid to indulge yourself occasionally, but maintain an awareness of a healthy diet and portion size and your healthy eating plan with be full of success.

By MaryAnn Roche

www.completepersonaldevelopment.com

Television, Magazines and the Internet make it very difficult to feel okay about what you look like when you’re constantly presented images that depict people who are too thin or even digitally enhanced to mask flaws, that each and every one of us, no matter who we are, have.   It’s just unrealistic!

It’s important to love yourself for the person that you are.   I am sure all of you already know this. We are all made differently, but beautifully, in our own unique way. Sure, your beauty may differ from that of a fashion model, but you’re still beautiful!  Acceptance of this is the key to being a much happier person.

Self Focusing

This is much simpler than it sounds.  When you’re learning to love who you are inside and out, you first need to start changing the way you think about beauty and what you relate to it.  Simply, you need to start with your inside, where our real beauty begins.

None of us are absolutely perfect. There will always be something that you are unhappy with about yourself, but it doesn’t negate your beauty, and it’s certainly no reason to make your life unhappy over it. Shift your focus onto the things that you do like about yourself, look for the positives.

Have a little faith in humanity. If you sit and people watch in a public place, are you constantly pointing out everyone’s flaws? Chances are that you’re probably not.  We don’t judge our friends on their imperfections, so why should we judge ourselves on ours?  Perhaps too hard on ourselves.

You’re Uniquely You

After working on loving yourself on the inside you can then move on to the outside, learning to love it also.  Alas, today’s society has encouraged us to feel ashamed of what we look like, to the point of having all sorts of procedures and surgeries.   Don’t fall for this!  You don’t need this in order to feel good about yourself!

You can attempt to make changes if you have a problem like skin disorders or weight problems, but there are also things that you can’t change, like height or freckles. The best thing you can do is embrace yourself for the wonderful, unique individual that you are. After all, there’s no one else on this planet quite like you.

Make Changes in a Healthy Way

If it is your wish to make changes in your appearance, you can certainly do so, but remember you just need to be doing it for the right reasons. You might need to lose or gain weight in order to get back into a healthy weight range. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change your hair color every now and then either.  A CHANGE IS A GOOD AS A HOLIDAY!

But some people are tempted to go too far and do things like losing too much weight. They convince themselves that even a healthy weight is “overweight” and they strive to be underweight.   Being underweight is also an unhealthy place to be.

It’s important for your health to avoid these types of problems. If you’re stuck in a situation like this, you need to explore the reasons why you feel this way. You also might want to discuss your concerns with a professional.

Pass On a Healthy Body Image-A precious Gift

One thing you can do for the world is to help pass on a healthy body image to others. The way the media portrays beauty is grossly misconstrued, and everyone should be doing their part to promote health and beauty in its true form.

If you have children, teach them that they’re beautiful and unique, just the way they are. Children learn by example, ensure that you never put yourself down in front of them.   Try to avoid complaining about your own body because they might overhear and you might inadvertently teach them something you never intended to teach.   Young minds are very impressionable.

A healthy body image is something we can all strive toward. You’ll make yourself and others feel better by complimenting your friends and family. Everyone likes to get a compliment every now and then.

You never know you just might make someone’s day!

By MaryAnn Roche.

It doesnt pay to make major life changes on a single whim and acutally expect them to stick. 

If setting yourself a truly lasting New Years resolution is something you want, then you have to treat it like any other major life goal. Begin by stating your intentions, put together your action plan, and get the willpower to follow through.

Setting and Achieving Goals

When it comes to setting your goal, it is important to visualize your goal, don’t be afraid of dreaming too big or being too specific. The sky is truly the limit. when it comes to settng and achieving goals.

Once you set your goals then get specific with listing and breaking down achievable tasks that will enable you to reach your goal. For example, if you want to lose weight, be really specific about how much and by when. If giving up an addiction is what you need to do, then specify what you are going to do in order to make it happen.

State your goal in as few words as possible, and be sure to make your end goal very clear.
Be honest. Ensure you are setting this goal because you choose to -not anyone else.  Own it.
Put together an Action Plan

Some people fall short simply because they failed to create an action plan. However, without a plan you will find achieveing your goal so much more difficult.

Here are some tips for creating an action plan:

 1. Break your plan into parts. If you take everything in all at once, it may seem overwhelming. If you break up your plan, you’re only looking at a bunch of mini goals. You will already be able to see the end of the tunnel when you begin, making it much easier to complete each step.
2. Keep your mind on your goal. As you plan out each step toward your goal, keep that New Year’s resolution in mind. There is a very good reason why you chose that goal to work on for the New Year. It is simply because it is important to you.

3. Include motivation. Motivation might be the thing that gives you the most trouble as you may begin by being exceptionally motivated, buteose that enthusiasm as the year progresses.

Remember to write certain motivations into your plan for when the going gets tough. Imagine just how good you will feel when you achieve success with your New Year’s resolution!

Instead of being one of the many people who simply forget their resolution, or don’t bother sticking at it, you can be one of the few who actually achieve their goal.

Do whatever it takes to keep yourself pumped as you follow through. This may include setting certain reminders for yourself. For example, you can start each month by re-reading the goal you declared on January 1st.Stop and look at the progress you have made.

In the end, the process is quite simple. State your goal, have an action plan, and then follow through with that plan. Remember that you can do anything when your mind is in the right place and you take action to get what you want!
If you find you need a little extra help with your goal setting however, try this neat product ” The 7-Step Goal Setting System – guaranteed to work, even if:

•You don’t have any willpower…
•You don’t have any time for goal setting…
•The word “planning” scares you to death…
•You have the unbeatable habit of putting things off…
•You failed all your New Years resolutions…

Try it today!