Expression of love is one of the factors influencing love relationships and partnerships. Sexual intimacy is one of the many forms of expressing love and building a connection. When this intimacy is filled with pleasure and satisfaction, it leads to a more fulfilling relationship. While, sexual intimacy is not the only expression or factor keeping a relationship going, it surely plays a major role in strengthening it. There are different ways of enhancing the experience for both man and the woman. Tantra is one of the techniques which prescribes practices for men, who want to take their relationship to a higher level.

Tantra is a Sanskrit word which, among other things, applies to the philosophy defining the universe as the divine play of Shakti and Shiva.  Everything in life is divided into 2 parts: Yin and Yang, Black and White and when these 2 unite there is a flow of energy. In the same way the universe is considered an amalgamation of the 2 opposites, Shiva and Shakti. According to Tantra one of the ways in which the energy flows is when the man and woman make love; Love making is a means to the divine transcendent state. This free flow of energy transcends the body and the senses to experience the divine. When the 2 coagulate it is like a doorway is opened for the energy to flow in. The free flow of energy through the body will enable a blissful state.

Men can practice Tantra to not only experience the divine but also make their partner experience this divine. Through Tantra men can learn to use the senses to experience life wonderfully and the collection of exercises enable men to better tune into the intimacy and sweetness of the experience. Men can practice Tantra exercises to enhance their ability to satisfy their partner, maintain their vigor, increase their power to procreate and balance different levels of sexual drive. Tantra brings out all these qualities without any artificial means or medicines. Men can tread the path to the divine through the prescribed exercises of Tantra.

By
Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: Tantra for men

Chakras can be defined as the energy centers parallel to the spine. In Yoga Shastra there are considered to be 7 Chakras. The Chakras vibrate at different frequencies; each Chakra being associated with a certain power and attribute that improves our experience and existence: Muladhara (root) – Root, Syashisthana (sweetness) – Sensual, Manipura (lustrous gem) -Power, Anahata (love) – Love, Vishuddha (purification) – Communication, Ajna (to perceive) – Perception and Sahasrara (thousand petalled) – Universal Connection.

There are various ways to tune into the energy centers for stimulating and strengthening each Chakra. Tuning into this energy will enable us to deal with the specific life challenges of each energy center or chakra and as a consequence to live more enhanced, meaningful and stress free lives. Yoga defines exercises and postures that help our bodies harmonize and balance the energy centers.

Tantric Yoga offers the tools and techniques for achieving the required balance through refinement of thoughts, breathing exercises (Pranayama), contemplation, visualization and repetitive chanting of mantras, and meditation.

Tantric Yoga teaches us the ways to identify and cleanse the thoughts and feelings. Using these practices to refine our thoughts and feelings we can acquire the ability to control them. The first step towards this is to identify the factors influencing our thoughts and feelings as occurring due to ignorance and materialistic attachments.

The next tool is breathing (Pranayama) and other exercises (called mudras and asanas) prescribed by Tantric Yoga. The exercises will help regulate the flow of life energy which is required for maintaining a healthy immune system and balanced emotional state. The exercises energize the body and help regulate the flow of energy.

Visualization is the perception of the symbolic representations (yantras) and deities, which serve as centering devices for the energy centers and in Meditation. The mantras include the Seed Syllables (Bija Mantras).  The sound of each syllable representing each Chakra. Chanting of these syllables will bring in harmony into the chakras or energy system.

Meditation is attaining a deeper state of consciousness. Tantric Yoga teaches methods for meditation, with the use of visualization and/or mantra chanting techniques to attain meditative state.

The balancing of the Chakras and Tantric Yoga will help us control our feelings and lead to a happy, peaceful and content state of mind.

By
Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: tantric yoga

Men are usually faced with a conflicting situation – To provide for the wife and child(ren) a man has to work, sometimes long hours, and in doing so they miss out on spending time with their family. So, should they work more and make more money to provide or work less and make less money to spend time with the family? It’s a tough challenge to strike a balance between the two. Balancing this is the crux of keeping the family as one unit and ensuring everybody’s happiness.

Through all my years of living with my parents I remember the Golden Rule set by my father – ‘No matter where you go or what you do during the day, be home for dinner’. Dinner was considered an exclusive family time in my house. And, my father rarely broke the rule and rarely allowed us to break this rule. That was a time when we would all get together and catch up with each other, and unwind the day’s happenings. There were days when we’d be rolling on the floor with laughter or when we’d be upset with each other over something or when nothing eventful would happen; however that was our pristine family time. That was the time when my father was balancing his role as the husband and father – knowing what’s happening in his wife’s and children’s lives, understanding their needs, giving undivided attention and building lasting memories. I still look back with fond memories of those days and wonder if people still believe in such activities.

Setting priorities is very important when it comes to balancing conflicting interests. While it’s important to fulfill your duties at work, it is equally important to fulfill your duties as a husband and father.

Set an exclusive time for the family, when you can unwind your day and catch up with your family. Divide and plan your activities between activities for the whole family and things that you can do exclusively with your wife. You don’t have to plan anything big. Maybe you can have something like a game night on one day of the week, when the whole family can get together and play some games. With your wife, maybe you could have a lunch date day if feasible.

Offer to take turns with your wife for the pickups and drop-offs. Your wife shouldn’t be the only one that takes your children to their school/classes/play dates. Offer to do that job sometimes, this would not only give your wife a much needed break, but help you connect with your children and know more about their activities.

Be the anchor for your family. Even if you don’t understand why they are upset be supportive of them when they are upset. You can rationalize later, when everyone calms down.

Everyone likes surprises. So, make room for some occasional surprises. Be the “Neighbor’s envy and Family’s pride”.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: husband and wife relationships

Being a parent is a great joy and with that comes great responsibility to ensure that our upbringing is not lacking and helps our children blossom into good individuals. It’s a very tough balance to maintain between over involving, being overprotective and over indulging to being actively involved, protecting and providing.
Father is the first interface to the male world for a daughter. Having a healthy relationship with your daughter will help mould her into a confident, strong woman, who can make the right choices in life, especially men. Here are a few things you could do to nourish the wonderful relationship with your daughter:
1)    Be progressive in your thinking and the way you deal with your daughter. You cannot always treat her as a child. Make your daughter feel respected and treat her according to her age. She is not always going to be your little princess. Let her grow and feel like the woman she can and wants to be.
2)    Be open in your conversations with your daughter.  Don’t just hear, try to understand and listen to what she has to say. Don’t use harsh words; rationalize with her when you disagree with her choices or actions. Harsh words tend to make a lasting impression on a child and may harm her self-confidence.
3)    Guide her and help her make sensible decisions, but also give her independence. Don’t try to impose your opinions.
4)    Set a good example for your daughter. Treat your daughter’s mother well, whether you are together or not. You cannot show double standards in your treatment of her mother or other women in your life. Your daughter should know that you respect women.
5)    Don’t hesitate from showing affection and expressing your love for your daughter. Knowing that she is loved will give her a sense of security and help her build healthy relationships.
6)    Play an active role and encourage your daughter in all her endeavors. Resist the temptation to over involve.
7)    Discipline her when the need arises and be reasonable when setting boundaries. You can’t control what she is exposed to outside your home, but you can teach her how to handle the outside world.
Values do not change with time; we should always hold onto them and pass them onto the next generation succeeding us. But, the way the values are passed on changes with time and people. Make it a relationship that your daughter can cherish for the rest of her life.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: father daughter relationship

The advent of technology has made reaching out to people so easy and convenient that distances and boundaries have almost vanished. Despite this most people seem to be biased about long distance relationships being successful.

People in a long distance relationship should first overcome the hurdle of physical distance.  A person should get into a long distance relationship with the mindset that the distance will not be a hurdle and he/she will treat this relationship just the way they would a normal one, with a few adjustments here and there.

To make long distance relationship work people should set some ground rules and expectations. Rules will define how the relationship will be handled and expectations will define the emotional involvement aspect.  Rules around the communication channels used, frequency of communication, how often to meet, what activities to share, extent of involvement of each in the other’s lives, handling of disagreements, etc. Expectations of where the relationship is going or what each one wants out of the relationship and how each will contribute to helping the other reach their goals.

When people live in different locations then the mode and means of communication becomes very essential to how the relationship shapes up. People should try not to limit the relationship to just phone conversations or emails or chats, etc. Using a combination of the modes available will be more effective, especially for people living in different time zones.

Set a finite schedule for meeting so that each will have something to look forward to. Waiting for something to happen without knowing when is always frustrating. This doesn’t imply No Surprises. Surprising your long distance partner with a sudden visit is wonderful, but that shouldn’t preclude a schedule. While making a meeting schedule remember to take turns for travelling. Only one person doing the travelling is frustrating and will take a toll on the relationship. So be fair to each other by deciding when and who will do the travelling.

Having common activities that can be shared and done together will help keep people stay connected. People need to have something in common to do, as a way to overcome the distance. This could be playing a game together online, reading a book and talking about it, solving puzzles, etc. Get creative and come up with something interesting for both.

Involving in each other’s lives will help understand and relate to each other better. Accept that the even though each lives in different locations they will remain connected and involve the other in their goings on.

Getting to know a person better will inevitably include some disagreements. Arguing over the phone or email or chat will only make matters worse. Try to hold off the argument until you meet each other. If the matter can’t wait that long, try to not let anger drive the argument. Be careful with your choice of words and mellow down the tone.

While I would say that making any relationship work is completely dependent on the people involved, I also believe that if certain standards are set and followed then any relationship can bloom. Long distance relationships are no exception to following some guidelines to be successful. Make distance a factor in the relationship not a drawback.

By
Mary-Ann Roche.

Tags: Long Distance, Love, relationship