Hello! How are you? I would like to share with you a very inspiring story of a friend of mine. Last week, I accidentally met a long-lost friend of mine when I went to the grocery store. At first, I did not recognize her. She was the one who called my name and introduced herself. I was surprised by the huge changes in her physical appearance and lifestyle. By the way, two decades ago my friends and I used to joke on her and call her ugly duckling for her appearance and status in life. She belonged to an impoverished family. Her mom was widowed, and so had to support and take care of her 8 children by herself. The death of the father caused financial crisis in the family. They could not take a decent meal a day. And so, my friend and some of her siblings were not given proper nourishment. They were so thin and looked like malnourished people. Her face was covered with pimples, and her skin with boils, scars and rashes. She could not afford to go to dermatologist due to lack of money. She was overage when she graduated in high school because she started schooling late and needed to stop schooling once in a while to assist her mom in taking care of her siblings. When she was a teenager, she was molested and physically abused by her stepfather. She endured this torture for many years because of fear to be separated from her family, and dread of being killed by her stepfather. But, this is not the end of her suffering. She jumped from one relationship to another relationship for her need of security, love and acceptance. These relationships pierced her heart more due to physical, verbal and sexual abuse by men whom she loved and to whom she entrusted herself. The last thing I knew about her was that she got hooked on drugs and alcohol. And after that, I have not heard anymore from her for years.
After almost 20 years, the person she was then is different what she is now. All the suffering and hardships she experienced then did not crush her, but strengthen her. The trials she faced then did not dampen her spirit, but challenge her. The pain she endured then did not discourage her from pursuing her dreams, but fuel her to fight. She did not consider all problems and sorrows as failures and stumbling blocks, but opportunities for her to grow and mature. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: attitude, happiness, hope, recovery, self help, suffering

I was at a store shopping a few months back, and the experience I had there had a profound effect on me. The young man helping me out, who seemed to be no more than 18 or 19 years, was very friendly and helpful. I started having a casual conversation with him and asked him how he liked his job, and if he was still studying. He said that he enjoyed his work and then started telling about his life and family. He told me that he, being the eldest of seven children, has to work to help his mother support him and his six siblings, while paying for his education and tutoring his younger siblings. I noticed that the smile on his face never faded throughout our conversation. He took his situation in good stride and was not flustered or bothered by the responsibility entrusted to him at such a young age. He reminded me of my father, who shouldered huge responsibilities at a very young age.

It is amazing how people hold up with so much resilience in times of trouble. It is true stories like these that have a lasting effect on us because these are experiences of real people, we can relate to them and they have the power to inspire and motivate us in tackling our issues. It makes us realize that there is so much undiscovered strength in people around us, than we can imagine.

I can give a whole list of people in my life who have inspired me and whose lives have been examples of resilience, endurance and perseverance; from my father for his uncomplaining dedication to his job and responsibilities, my mother for her undaunting faith, my aunt for her unflinching tenacity and perseverance, my friend for her unwavering optimism, my son for his untarnished enthusiasm, and the list goes on.

To be inspired you just have to discover the strength in others and learn from their lives. There are so many people around us that can inspire us to be better people and do better in our lives. There is no situation or person too small to teach us something new. We have to widen our thinking and approach to pursue inspiration and find it in even in the smallest of things around us.

Achievement – The word sounds like you have to do something big to claim it. Is that true? Is it an Achievement only when you have a big job title or a big bank balance, etc.? No. To me achievement is when I can successfully accomplish any task that I have set out to do, overcoming any hurdles in the way. It could be something as small as completing a home improvement project, like sewing curtains for my living room.

Let me elaborate on this little achievement and how it emboldened my claim for achievement. Though, I enjoy painting and other crafting activities I always considered sewing an activity beyond my capabilities. I never did very well with my sewing grades while at school, and those low grades kept me away from trying it in my adult life too.

I was in dire need of curtains for my living room and being a very picky shopper I was finding it difficult to get stitched patterns that matched my liking. So, I decided that this would be the best time for me to overcome my fears and mental block about sewing.

With new resolve and a plan in place I bought some material that I liked and a sewing machine. After some research online about curtain patterns and sewing, I plunged into my new venture. I first tried a few patterns on some old material I had. I wasn’t very successful in the first few rounds and I must admit that it was quite disheartening. Despite that I didn’t want to give up. I sewed until I got it right. A few wasted materials later I finally succeeded. I hung the finished pieces on my windows and that was my moment of achievement.

With most of us, there are few things we exclude from trying to do because we convince ourselves that we can’t do them. This could be a result of a fear of failure or lack of confidence or a combination of both. There are a few things I too have avoided trying. But, this little achievement has encouraged me to take up bigger challenges, which I have avoided earlier, in life. The lesson for us being: There is nothing we can’t achieve if we try and we will never know what we can achieve if we don’t try!

By,

Mary-Ann Roche

Tags: achievement, trying

What happens when you combine speed, slippery road and a downhill slope? Skidding. No, I am not talking science or driving lessons here. What I am going to talk about is the realization that I needed to slow down in life and enjoy every moment with my loved ones.

Last week, I was going to pick up my son from his class. It was raining and dark. Since I was running late, I was trying to go faster to make it on time. While taking the ramp to the highway I started slowing down, because of the downhill slope I suddenly felt my car driving itself. I was stunned and frozen for a fraction of a second, when my cousin sitting next to me said “Let go of the brakes, the car is skidding!” It still didn’t register in mind, and I was screaming while holding onto the steering wheel and helplessly looking at the car make a 180 degree turn to face oncoming traffic. I could see the car swerving towards the railing and I thought this is the end. My mind went racing to all the time and the people I am going to miss and all the logistics that had to be taken care of after a crash. Most importantly my concern was, “What about my son? Who will pick him up and who will take care of him if something happened to me?” In the meantime, the car slowly came to a halt, right next to the railing, without touching it. There were no other cars in sight and I sat looking out the window at what could’ve been the end for me and my brother.

The stillness in that moment made me realize that I had been speeding through my life and needed to slow down before life goes past me. I had been so focused on getting things done that I had lost sight of all the little joys I was missing. I was working too hard and fast to catch up with the fast paced world.  I had missed out on talking to my family more often. I hadn’t been spending enough time with my son or family. I started looking at the big picture. My son needs me; the time I can give him is more precious than a toy I can buy him.

Maybe it was some unseen power that saved me from such a disaster or it was sheer luck (mine or my brother’s). Whatever the reason, I have come out of the situation stronger, wiser and slower.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

Being in a new place or with new people can be intimidating. When placed in such a situation it becomes imperative to form new relations, because humans are social beings. W e have the capability to judge, form opinions, build relations and express emotions. Relations are the fabric of our social skills; and the crucial component helping us form relations is the impressions and opinions we form of the people we interact with. So it becomes essential for us to positively contribute to portraying a good and lasting impression to build good relations. Depending on your need and type of relationship you are trying to form, here are a few tips you can follow:

Look and Feel Confident – Being confident will convey to the people around you a positive attitude and behavior. Also, when you are confident about yourself you can interact better with people.

Don’t overdo or over talk – Be friendly and approachable, but don’t overdo your enthusiasm. When you are in a new place or meeting new people, and would like to make new friends your friendliness is what will propel your efforts in the right direction. At the same time being over friendly or over involving will steer people away. While having a conversation pick safe subjects and try not to make any controversial remarks. (You can save all those for your close friends, who don’t mind and won’t judge what you say)

Address the person with their Name – I know people tend to forget names, especially if they have met briefly. When you are introduced to someone, attach a cue with the name to help you remember. The next time you see the person, you can address the person with their name. This shows attentiveness and personalizing.

Dress well – Dressing well doesn’t imply wearing any elaborate or expensive stuff. Make a conscious effort to dress for the occasion. Being well dressed will not only make you look and feel good, but will also tell others that you have put in the thought and effort for the way you look. As the adage goes, ‘First impressions are last impressions’. This may seem shallow and there are some who deny this, but in the real world how you present yourself tells a lot about you.

Be Positive – Last but not the least, radiating positive energy is the key to attracting positive relations. So, smile your way through new beginnings.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche