Let me recommend this great book! This is Your Chance to Learn How to Control the One Thing that Means More to Your Accomplishments and Happiness than Anything Else … Your Attitude!
“Who Else Wants to Discover the Amazing Secrets of How You Can Develop a Positive Attitude, Eliminate Stress From Your Life, Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence, and Program Yourself For a Lifetime of Success!”

Without delving too much into her unfortunate past I will talk about how she rediscovered herself and transformed into an idle for others around her. It wasn’t an easy transition for her, but all her efforts have surely paid off. When she was in the abusive relationship she blamed herself for the mistreatment. She thought that it was her shortcomings that lead to such a disastrous relationship. She was afraid to talk to people and to seek help. She had become introverted, depressed and disinterested in life; her confidence and self esteem were down the drain. She had let the man she loved so much walk all over her and in doing so lost her bright self. When she couldn’t take the abuse anymore she decided to leave him and move on. And that became the turning point for her.

Getting out of the relationship and doing things on her own were not easy for her, but what it taught her was to be strong and stand up for herself. She made her travails a learning curve towards progression and improvement.

When you are faced with a difficult situation the easiest way out of it seems to escape or run from it. But the real thing to do would be to face the situation and figure a way out of it. The first lesson to learn for regaining self esteem is to face reality. It is not an easy thing to accept that to yourself or to anybody else, but you have to do it. That’s what my sister did. She faced the reality that she had lost her confidence and self esteem. She talked about it not only to herself but to her friends. Facing the reality of her situation gave her an insight into what she is supposed to work on. She took advice and help from her good friends and tried to follow it.

My sister always enjoyed painting. She took up her interests with renewed energy. When you do something you enjoy it boosts the feel good emotion in you. It makes you feel better about yourself. Any appreciation from others for your activities will enhance your sense of self and surge your confidence further up. So finding something you enjoy doing will help in regaining your self esteem.

Like who you are – Self perception plays a very vital role in how you project yourself. When you are not comfortable with who you are, you tend to come off as a meek and submissive person with a low sense of self. When people see a person with a low or nil self confidence or self esteem, they tend to think that they can get away with mistreatment. If the people around you have abused and pushed you around, remember that it is not your fault. It is their lowliness and your goodness that they are being allowed to treat you bad. But, that doesn’t mean that you should let them treat you that way. Muster the strength to confront and fight back. You are better than that. So don’t ever let yourself down in your own eyes.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

Well my father is celebrating  his 87th birthday this Saturday and in traditional Australian style we will all gather for a bar-b-cue. 

When I say all, I mean his 10 children, 30 something grand-children and half a dozen great grand-children and of course, my Mum.  I have been thinking about what he said a few years ago and its only now that I understand and can identify what he means. 

I went back to work full time recently only to be told quite nicely that I was in fact the oldest person in the Company!  Now in my defence I can only say that being a web development studio that doesnt necessarily mean I am that old as typically most people in this industry are quite young.  Anyway the comment rattled me a bit and when I went home that night took a good long look in the mirror. 

My goodness he was right!  Age had begun to creep up on me without me noticing.  I still feel in my twenties in so many ways but am struggling to understand how the world sees me.  Even when I go to buy something to wear I now have reached the point of questioning appropriateness for my age!  Can you believe it!  Where in the rule book is it written that we have some dress code we are to adhere to once we reach a certain age?  I want to fight it and wear what the hell I want to regardless of what anyone thinks and then I have to stop myself…..the children, what will they think? 

My children are all in their mid twenties but who wants to see their Mum strutting her stuff in a mini skirt? 

So as I think about my father’s impending birthday celebrations I remember my daughter saying to me once “Mum  you will never be this beautiful again, so get out there and wear whatever you want!  I think age is such an over-rated topic, and society really imposes all sorts of ideas on what we should and shouldnt do or think or wear and I say “to hell with it, we pass this way but once, make the most of it!”

Written by

MaryAnn Roche

Paralized by Fear

For me personally when I reach the podium and turn the microphone on from that point on I see not much more than a black canvas in front of me. I can feel the sensation welling up inside my throat knowing that I must soon speak. Like many of us I am a perfectionist, and put considerable emphasis on delivering the perfect speech. In a way that is a double edged sword for someone with a fear of public speaking in that it is the very thing that causes the fear in the first instance, and secondly it is the very thing that the audience is looking for!

When making a speech I tend to experience all the thoughts like “what if people hate my speech and begin leaving”, what if I simply cannot speak in a fluent manner, what if something goes wrong with my slide presentation and I have to wing it?

Focus is the Key

All of these feelings cause enormous anxiety making it very difficult to deliver an effective and memorable speech.  Perhaps the key is to try to actually focus on sharing your knowledge with the audience, after all that’s what they came for!  Forget if you can, about flawlessly delivering your speech but rather, focus on the value the audience can actually get from the content delivery.  Forget about impressing them but focus on delivering to them the information you know they want to gain.  Perhaps this focus, will help you to overcome your fear of public speaking.

Communicate the topic effectively to your audience so you can see by their faces that they are receiving the information they came for.  In focusing to this degree, the nervous or anxious feelings tend to be held at bay.

Preparation

Therefore always study your subject matter thoroughly beforehand so you feel confident when it comes time to deliver this information.  Practise and refine your speaking, pausing at the correct moments and speaking slowly and effectively.  Ensure your presentation materials are prepared correctly so as to aid you in delivering your address in an effective manner.

Visualize yourself already speaking in public

Lastly as Im sure many of my readers know by now, I am a great believer in the art of meditation and visualization.  Meditate an hour or so prior to delivery of your speech and visualize yourself speaking in front of the audience.  See yourself speaking clearly and with confidence to your audience.  Think about how you are feeling when you do this, do you feel good about yourself?  Are you feeling relaxed about it?

These are my thoughts on how to overcome your fear of public speaking, from a fellow sufferer.  I have practised what I preach and can say that over time my fear of public speaking has reduced somewhat and continues to do so if I follow my own advice.

By Maryann Roche

 These little girls grew up and today they are thirty, forty, fifty. They are experienced, self-confident and educated. But even today they are subconsciously afraid of admitting that something is wrong. They fear that their partner will blame them for creating problems, get upset and eventually stop loving them. However, being tight-lipped is one of the most destructive relationship mistakes. And if you don’t dare to talk about what bothers you and to express your wishes, you’re not being a good girl at all. On the contrary.

We all know that communication is the key to a happy relationship. Usually, women are considered more communicative, while men tend to find it more difficult to open up, show their emotions and discuss relationship issues.

However, there is one communication area in which we, women, often do not excel. Many of us have problems telling the truth when something is wrong and expressing exactly what we want. Instead, we expect men to see what’s wrong and to guess what we want. The bad news is that men are no mind readers and most of the time they believe what we tell them.

Let’s have a look at this typical example: Your partner asks you if you’re okay. You say that you are. He’s happy and goes about his day. But in reality, you’re not okay. Maybe you had a bad day at work, maybe you’re sad, maybe you have a headache, maybe he said something or did something annoying. However, you don’t say a word because you expect him to know, to see it, to feel it. He would, if he really loved you, right? So you get frustrated and furious. He doesn’t understand why you’re snapping at him, and he says you’re hysterical. It makes you even more furious because you’re angry for a reason. He still doesn’t understand. You end up fighting for nothing. Does this situation sound familiar to you?

It’s quite possible that your mum or your best friend really see when something is wrong and don’t leave you alone until you tell them. However, most men are much more straightforward and a bit less empathetic than women, and when you say you’re fine, they take your word for it.

So my advice is: Speak up and tell your partner how you feel and what you think. Believe me, he can take it. Actually, he’ll be happy to listen, advice and help, or just to hug you and support you.

The same rule applies to relationship issues. Maybe something he does (or did) has been bugging you for some time. Maybe you would like to spend more time together or do different things. Maybe his habits are ticking you off. He can’t know it unless you tell him, and such little “secrets” have ruined many good relationships. The tension keeps building up, you’re not happy, he can see that but he doesn’t understand why. It leads to unnecessary fights and even to break-ups.

Your partner wants your relationship to work, just like you do. He wants to be happy, just like you want him to be happy. And he wants to know what’s going on in your head, just like you want to know what’s going on in his. Talking about things that bother you and about those that you want or long for should become a natural part of your relationship. So start today. Tell your partner you want to discuss something over a good meal on Friday night and believe me, he’ll be ready to listen. Don’t accuse each other and don’t complain, just talk about things that you would like to change. Stop keeping your worries to yourself. You’re in this together, it’s your relationship and you love each other, so be honest and open. And remember, hints are useless and they don’t work, so don’t expect your partner to read between the lines. You will see that straightforwardness is something that men deeply appreciate.

 Written by Barbora Knobova.

Grab this Free from my ebook page!

Is life passing you by? Well I say No to Mediocrity and Yes to Success! You can too…read on my friend!

There’s an exciting world out there with a lot to offer. Deep down you know you want to get out and take a big bite of it. Sure, it may be a bit overwhelming, and even scary at times, but you can’t let your life just pass you by.

So, it looks like you’re stuck in a rut. Are you bored with your life and the same routine day after day? Of course you can’t be happy like this!

It’s time to live those dreams, take a leap of faith, and get out of your comfort zone! Lose the mediocrity and find the success! But how do you get started?

Read on for some valuable tips and suggestions to help you find the success you desire:

1. Take the first step.

It’s time to take that first leap of faith. As much as you want to step outside the box and get out of this rut, nothing will happen without taking that first big step.

* No matter how frightening it may be, you need to focus on the big picture and the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Muster up all the encouragement and support you can find and just do it. Once the first step is accomplished, it gets easier!

Get Unstoppable Confidence for Your Journey! – Click Here
* You deserve to be the best that you can possibly be, and deep down inside you know this. You’ll be so glad you took action – and you’ll be so proud of yourself when you celebrate at the finish line!

2. Decide what you want to do.

Put your fears aside and step outside of your mediocrity zone. If you could do anything without fear, money, or time being an issue, what would you choose?

* Make a list of everything you would like to accomplish someday. It doesn’t matter how crazy or outrageous you may think it is, just write it down.

* It also doesn’t matter if your list has three or thirty-three things listed. Just search your heart and your mind and write down what you would really like to do.

3. Faith.

It’s important to have faith to see your journey until the end, yet this may be one of the hardest qualities to develop. Remember how it feels to be stuck where you are with no excitement and no real purpose. You know things can be better than they are now, but how?

* All you need to do is believe in yourself. You know that countless people before you have lived their dreams, so why not you? What makes them so different?
Get Unstoppable Confidence for Your Journey! – Click Here

* There really is no difference between you and others, except for the belief in the possibility for great success. You can be just like they are; you just have to believe you can do it!

4. Don’t keep it a secret.

If you’re ashamed of how you’re feeling, you shouldn’t be. Many people find themselves in the same predicament. The only thing that should embarrass you is if you intentionally decide to stay in that rut! Do yourself a big favor and open up to someone you trust.

* Whether that’s a parent, spouse, or best friend, tell them that you’re ready to make a change in your life and they’ll be able support you throughout your journey. They’ll encourage you on the good days and cry with you on the bad days.

* Most importantly, they’ll be there to support you throughout it all. It’s just what you need to achieve great success!

Final thoughts on Success and Mediocrity

No one enjoys being in a rut and just going through the motions of life. Feeling mediocrity is not a nice thing! Don’t let your fears hold you back. After all, this is a wonderful world that you deserve to enjoy to the fullest!

Go out and experience everything life has to offer. Take that first leap of faith and you’ll never look back again! What ever Success means to you – Just Go Get It!
Get Unstoppable Confidence, You’ll be So Glad You Did! – Click Here
By MaryAnn Roche.

Attempting to boost your self-esteem during normal times is hard enough, but what happens when you’re dealing with a difficult period in your life?

Stressful issues like job loss, broken relationships, or sickness can lower our self esteem. We tend to take the blame and feel that, if we were “better,” these things wouldn’t have happened in the first place. When thinking rationally, we may realize that this is untrue, but it’s harder during times of struggle to feel good about ourselves!

For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!

Here are some simple strategies you can use to give your self-esteem a boost during trying times:

1. Focus on the positive.

Yes, negative things can happen in your life, but this must not be your only focus. As I’m sure you’ve heard before: “Things could be worse.” Try to turn your attention onto what you have that is good.

* Whether it’s wonderful children, a terrific spouse, or a roof over your head, focus on what is positive and special in your life.

* Not only will this make you feel better about your current situation, but you’ll also realize that these good things would not have been possible without you.

* It’s time to understand that you are a positive influence in the lives of many. Realistically, everyone has to deal with difficult times as a part of growing and maturing. Try to remember that “this too shall pass” and keep your chin up.

2. Take time for you.

With all that’s happening in your life right now, you’re under a lot of stress. This obviously isn’t helping your feelings of low self-esteem. More than likely, you’re not taking any time out for the most important person in your life: you.

For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!
* Allow some time to relax and regroup. It will do wonders for your mindset! Make the time to do something that you thoroughly enjoy doing. It can be alone or with family or a trusted friend – whatever relaxes you the most.

* Read a book, take a bubble bath, make some cookies, or dance around the house to your favorite music. Anything that can relieve some of that stress you’re feeling will make a big difference.

3. Believe that things will get better.

The power of the mind is amazing. If you’re in a situation that you truly believe is hopeless, your chances of changing that situation worsen greatly. If you believe things can and will get better, your chances of improving the situation are greatest.

* Knowing that things will improve will also help you feel more confident about yourself. You’ll feel more positive heading into the right direction, and your self-esteem will increase.

Final thoughts on Self Esteem

Life sometimes presents us with difficult situations that we’re not prepared to deal with. During these times, consciously redirect your feelings away from the negative and towards the positive. Your self-esteem will be strengthened, along with your belief of a better outcome.
For a Great Read on Self Esteem – Click Here!

When you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, things don’t seem as dark. Use these tips on how to boost your self esteem to find your light and feel better.

By MaryAnn Roche.

Positive Thinking is not only beneficial for the health; it also affects the people around you as well. Negative thinking is more crippling than most people think. Read on to Stop Negative Thinking and enjoy the benefits of Positive Thinking instead!

“Think positive!” I’m sure you’ve had someone give you that advice before. Whenever you’re down and about to lose hope, your friends and family often tell you to keep your head up and move forward because things will work themselves out in the end.

What are the benefits of Positive Thinking?

Psychological studies have documented that people with a positive attitude in life live healthier lives. According to experts, having a positive mood is good for the morale. This enables to person to overcome adversities in life more efficiently compared to a pessimist. They are also able to reach their goal faster because of their perseverance and determination.

The American Psychological association released a journal linking the benefits of positive thinking to better overall health. The journal documents that the pessimistic respondents were more likely to become frail later in life.

Frailty in the journal was measure using weight loss, exhaustion, walking speed and grip strength. Although there was no concrete conclusion, psychologists say that having a positive outlook increases a person’s resources which helps them cope with stress and illnesses better.

The benefits of positive thinking are not only with health; it also affects the people around you as well. A person with a positive attitude is more likely able to cheer up a friend in need compared to a pessimistic individual. In some cases, having a positive attitude is infectious which brings balance and harmony in the workplace or at home.

How to Stop Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is more crippling than most people think. It not only affects a person emotionally but psychologically, socially and even physically as well. Eliminating negative thoughts is not as simple as saying to yourself “stop negative thinking!” Thankfully, there are techniques and tips developed by experts to help pessimists stop negative thinking.

The first step to stop negative thinking is to recognize that you are thinking negative thoughts. You won’t be able to stop a problem in its tracks if you can’t address it properly. You need to be self-aware whenever you feel any negative emotions like anger, sadness or frustration. Once you realize you are having negative thoughts, you can restrain yourself from having them.

Whenever you feel bad about something, you can rationalize why you feel that way. This is the second step in addressing your negative attitude. Why are you angry? Why are you sad? What makes you feel frustrated? Address the reasons and stop dwelling on it.

It may not be as easy as it sounds, but trust me, you’ll get there soon. You have to remember that some things are out of your control and it’s ok to feel sad or angry when something bad happens. The important thing is that you don’t let the feeling linger anymore than it should.

Find a hobby or an activity to distract your mind from thinking negative thoughts. A hobby that involves thinking is a good way to distract your mind; try solving jigsaw puzzles to help calm yourself.

Have a hobby that is as productive as possible. Set up a woodshop in your home, write or paint; it doesn’t matter whether you think you’re artistic enough or not. Instead of spending your free time sulking around the house, you can start creating works of art.

Final thoughts on Positive Thinking and Negative Thinking

Finally, focus on the positive instead of the negative. Instead of dwelling on the things you’ve lost, remind yourself of what you have in the present. Bad things happen to everyone, so does good things; count your blessings no matter how small it may seem.

Remember that good and bad times come and go – its called life! If you can train your brain to stop negative thinking quickly by using the above suggestions, you are well on the way to experiencing the benefits of Positive Thinking!

By MaryAnn Roche

Do you have a good body image? Do you like your female body the way it is? With the media today focusing on super skinny women, it’s hard to think that you could possibly be desirable if you don’t look like the women on TV and in magazines. The reality is, the average woman in America weighs 164 lbs. and is a size 14.

A positive self-image is one of the top things most women struggle with. So, how can you learn to love your body the way it is?

First of all, you need to focus on what you do like about your body.

Here are some questions to get you thinking about the things you DO like about yourself:

* What areas do you get complimented on the most? What do others notice about you first when you walk into a room?

* Are you shapely with a larger busts and hips? Do you have a womanly figure?

* Do you have nice legs? Are they thin and long? Are they muscular and strong?

* Do people comment on how pretty you are or often say that you have beautiful eyes?

* Do you like to show off your feet with pretty sandals or open toed shoes?

* Is your hair shiny and beautiful? Do you like to touch it or play with it?

Instead of being overly critical and negative, be grateful for the body and health you do have. So give yourself permission to see and accept the good!


Loving Your Female Body Image with the Perfect Clothing

Learning to love your body is important because having a good self-image empowers you in many ways. When you love the way you look, you feel more confident and confidence gives you the ability to do anything you set your mind to.

Dressing for your body type also plays a big part in how you look and see yourself, so it’s important to know what color, style, shape and material of clothing looks best on you. If your closet is full of worn out t-shirts and old faded blue jeans, it’s time for a wardrobe makeover.

Take a good, honest friend or family member shopping with you to help you choose clothes that fit well and colors that look best on you. Updating your wardrobe doesn’t have to be expensive either. Begin by shopping resale stores. Oftentimes you can find brand name, never worn clothes at prices greatly below retail. However, don’t settle for less than the best for your body type. If you can’t find the perfect items for your body, then don’t buy the clothes just because they’re cheap.

Top Female Body Image wardrobe from the bottom up, starting with the basic necessities:

* Black dress pants for work or an evening out
* One dressy blouse for work or an evening out
* One power suit for job interviews or business
* A black skirt
* Camisoles in a variety of colors for layering
* A well fitting pair of blue jeans for casual days
* 2 to 3 casual tops (by casual I’m not talking t-shirts either)
* 2 pair of shoes: 1 for dress and 1 for casual

When you’ve got the basic necessities, then you can build your wardrobe up from there by adding dressy blouses or tops in different colors and styles, more skirts in various styles and colors and so on.

Once you start loving your body by recognizing what you do like about it and dressing to fit your body type, you’ll gain a whole new confidence like you’ve never felt before and other people will take notice too. You may notice others reacting somewhat differently toward you as they respond to your new confidence. Heck, you might even get a raise!

So start learning to love your female body now. You’re beautiful!

A positive self or body image is essential to all around happiness – after all you have to live in that body – it will work better for the both of you if you like each other…lol

Whatever shape or size you are – love yourself and your female body!

]]> http://www.completepersonaldevelopment.com/1424/body-image-and-loving-the-female-body/feed/ 0 http://www.completepersonaldevelopment.com/1418/how-to-feel-self-esteem-and-self-respect/ http://www.completepersonaldevelopment.com/1418/how-to-feel-self-esteem-and-self-respect/#comments Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:24:38 +0000 Maryann http://www.completepersonaldevelopment.com/?p=1418 How to Feel Self Esteem and Self Respect

How’s your self esteem or your self respect?
Do you feel confidence and love yourself for who you are?

What about others? how do they see you? how do you think they see you? Do you want to get the respect of others – in the office, on the street, and in your community?

In case you didnt know it all starts with you and how you feel about yourself. The funny thing is that getting respect is an internal process that could be expressed outside, but starts from inside for sure.

If you want to get others’ respect you have to gain self respect too.

So what is Self Respect or Self Esteem?

Its a lot of thing all rolled in to one, consider it a mixture of the following things……and learn about yourself and what you think in the following areas…..

Be Honest With Yourself

Lie to others if you wish, but never lie to yourself. Be honest about what you want to do, who you want to be with, where you want to go, etc. Learn to listen to yourself. Do not listen to your fears or others. Listen to yourself and follow your Guiding Light.

Respect Your Body

Your body is your only vehicle in the Land of Life. Take care of it. Feed it with good food. Keep it clean and fully functional. Train it and improve it’s abilities. A better body will be your trip on the Earth.

Respect Your Emotions

Know what you feel and let yourself feel it 100 per cent! Do not suppress your feelings. Express them instead. They are like a turbulent river and nothing could keep them inside you. They will find their way out.

Respect Your Mind

Your mind is your most precious weapon. Take care of it. Fill it with thoughts about the solutions, not about the problems. You can use it to win and conquer the world. Or you can use it to kill yourself. It’s up to you!

Respect Your Opinion

Your opinion is not less valuable than the opinions of others. Know your opinion and respect the fact that you have it. Express it and don’t be shy. It is yours and is valuable enough to be expressed and to be respected by others.

Respect Your Skills

Your set of skills is unique. Why? Because you are unique your life is unique. So you can be proud of your skills. Improve them and use them. Do your best and follow the road to perfection.

More ways to find Self Esteem…

Respect Your Talents

You are born with a purpose, believe me! And your Creator has given you all the talents and gifts you need in order to complete your mission here.

So, know your talents, work on them, improve them, and use the knowledge about them to find and fulfill your mission. This is the only way to feel a complete and satisfied life.

Know Your Success Stories

Know your ups, your successes. Know and remember clearly when you’ve won and what your reward was. Think about these successes and write them down. Do not forget them. They will motivate you and will protect you from failure in the future.

Know Your Failures

Know them in order and learn from them. Learn the lessons; improve your skills, performance, abilities, etc. Then forget those failures as they cannot help you any more.

Know Your Goals

If you know what your direction is, you will be able to find a way, or many ways to get there. If you know where you are going you will find the road to lead you there.

Know Where You Are On The Road To Success

It is not enough to know your goal. You need to know where you are on the road to your goal.

How far is it? Are you on the right road? Always know your position in relation to your goal. If you are not on the right road then change it! If you are close, work harder to get even closer. If you are still far away keep working even harder.

Know Your Promises and Keep Your Word

In the old days keeping your word had been a matter of honor. Nowadays we have forgotten this. Remember it!

Promise hard and never break your promises! Never! Know very well what have you promised and keep your word. Do this for the promises to yourself as well.

Getting the respect of others starts with your own self respect. When you respect yourself, others will respect you too. Otherwise you have got nothing.

At the end of the day it really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks – it matters what you think and how you feel. If you don’t have a positive self esteem, you will find yourself miserable!

Where as if you take the time to really take stock in all your glory, and allow yourself to get to know the real you and enjoy your own company – your self respect and confidence, self esteem and happiness will soar!

Do you have a Winning Attitude? If not, you need to get one fast, so that you can join the Winning Team in Life – read on….

A vivid and defining difference between people who are successful and those who aren’t is the way they think. Successful people visualize their goals and take action to make them happen.

Unsuccessful people dwell on the negative, spend their time and energy complaining, and worry about things that are unimportant. This negativity wastes time and energy that could be harnessed toward achieving your goals.

Having a positive mental attitude helps you cope with challenges. When you’re put to the test, you’re more likely to find your inner strengths to overcome adversity, and that strength just might be your winning attitude. Whether or not you have the tools, skills, knowledge, or resources, your attitude can get you through tough times and come out on top.

On the other hand, an attitude filled with negative overtones makes everything much harder. You can’t win when you go into the contest prepared to lose! If you expect to do well, your attitude will create positive, winning thoughts that help you succeed.

Practice your Winning Attitude! – Practice Makes Perfect

If you hone your positive thinking skills and develop the mental attitudes of a winner, you’ll be able to overcome challenges without giving up. No matter how discouraging things may get or how intently others may try to dissuade you, with your winning attitude, you will be unstoppable!

A positive outlook enables you to focus on your goals with a tunnel vision that eliminates negative distractions and keeps you on a chartered course to success.

* Train your mind to focus on the good. Develop a positive mantra or affirmation to help you overlook the negative and realize the power of optimism.


Attitude Cause and Effect

It’s important to realize that for every effect in our lives, there’s a specific cause. Through positive thoughts, we can control these causes and change effects or outcomes. For every positive seed you plant, your thoughts will grow and reward you with a positive harvest. Negative seeds have the opposite effect. They’ll grow, but result in a spoiled and fruitless crop. You can’t plant negative seeds in your mind and expect positive results. It just doesn’t work that way. * In order to change your future for the better, you must first alter your thoughts in the present.

Train Your Attitude

An effective way to train your mind is to look at challenges as opportunities instead of obstacles. A problem is only a problem if you allow it to be one. With each challenge comes an opportunity to learn and improve. So if you search for solutions, you’ll find them. When you internalize this mindset, you’re sure to develop a winning attitude for a lifetime and reap the rewards of true success and happiness. Your attitude can make or break you. It’s virtually indisputable that your attitude determines how far you’ll go in life and a positive mental outlook can help you achieve optimal success. We often worry about our physical fitness, but do we think much about the fitness of our minds? Just as we train our bodies for peak performance, we must also train our minds by coaching ourselves to think winning thoughts and have a winning attitude!

Get on the Winning Team Now!…and have a great day

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70mO4V7s3sY]
Watch the video here or read the full article below!

Do you feel fear? would you like to overcome fear and fear nothing?
Everyone struggles with fear over something and we need to learn how to overcome our fears so we can enjoy a better life.

Fear is an emotion, and while sometimes it’s very valid and can help preserve your life, there are other times it simply must be faced and dealt with in order to be free. Fear can be a debilitating thing. It can completely ruin your day or even, in some cases, your life!

Here are some effective strategies you can use to overcome fear and help you fear nothing!

1. What is your fear?

If you can identify what you feel fear over, you’re off a good start. Can whatever you fear hurt you? Begin to conquer your fear by determining if it is rational or irrational.

* If it can hurt you, then there’s validation in your fear. In the least, you can work out a backup plan that gives you some level of comfort.

* If you feel fear, but it can’t harm you in any way, then you’re working with an irrational fear. In truth, there’s nothing to fear here, although it sure is easier said than done!


2. Confront your fear!

Although talking about your fear is the starting point, ultimately you need to face your fear head on. You’ll never get over a fear solely by talking about it. Nothing can be conquered until you face it.

* Find a safe way to confront your fear. Take a trusted person with you and start by facing a scaled down version of the thing that causes you anxiety.

* You don’t have to face it all alone. Reach out to your loved ones for support. They’ll be happy to help you overcome something that’s preventing you from having a better life. 


3. The best defense is a strong offense!

If you want to fear nothing, instead of hiding from your fear and creating defenses to keep it away from you, use the things you’ve read here to build up a way to attack your fear head on.

* Sometimes the best way to beat a fear is by doing the very thing you fear. If you’re afraid of being in an elevator, take a close friend with you and ride an elevator. Even one or two floors at a time will help you work towards overcoming your fear.


* Discover the best way to destroy it with a direct attack.

* Research your fear and learn about it. 


* Repeat your experiment until you aren’t afraid of it anymore.

4. What are other people doing?

Whatever your fear is, someone else has experienced it as well. Search out those people who share your feelings and learn from them.

* For example, if you’re afraid of flying, you probably know people who have flown, so talk to them about it! It’s quite possible they also had the same fear and overcame it. It’s not like everyone else has no fear and only you do! Ask them what steps they took to move beyond their fear.

5. Change the way you do things.

You’ve heard the expression “Mind over matter.” Facing your fear is often a matter of simply making a decision to change it. This fear was born in your mind and it grew because you fed it more fear.

There are fears that are perfectly normal, such as a fear of being burned while cooking. You should be a little afraid of burns – they hurt!

Those types of fears are normal, perfectly rational fears and are not something you need to fix. Fears can be helpful in many circumstances. However, if a fear is controlling your life, you need to face it head on and conquer it.

If you’ve convinced yourself that an irrational fear is real, you can do the same in reverse and convince yourself that you fear nothing! Many times we feel fear we have created for ourselves. The moment something causes you to become fearful, stop that thought in its tracks and turn it into something positive instead.

As I said earlier – we all are afraid of something! Anyone who says they fear nothing is probably lying, or are they? Some people have overcome fear to the point where they have excellent strategies in place to overcome fears when they arise.

You can be one of these people by using my tips to overcome fear. No longer will you feel fear and soon you will fear nothing – enjoy a better life!

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1ZdSfUeUgU]
Watch the video here or read the article below!

Could you benefit from building self confidence? Do you think a few tips on how to be assertive might help you? Even people who seem outwardly confident can sometimes lack inner confidence.

Being confident is a great feeling that we could all surely use a bit more of! Today I want to talk about some ways of building self confidence.

To achieve goals in life, these are two valuable character traits. While some people seem to be born assertive and confident, the rest of us can learn these coveted characteristics.

Self help books fly off the shelves of bookstores. (go to my menu above, I have some you can download free!) They’re the most common books on request at libraries. From business people to housewives, people are looking for ways to improve their lives, and the most sought after self help books are those on how to be assertive and confident.

During job interviews, potential employers look for essential qualities in prospective employees. Assertiveness and confidence are high on the list. People we admire in the business world are often seen as confident and assertive.

Here are the top 5 ways to become more confident and more assertive:

1. Become informed.

One of the best methods of being confident and assertive is to know your subject matter. No matter what the situation is, the more you know, the more confident you’ll be.

* Be prepared for potential questions on your subject matter. A good idea is to have a trusted coworker help you identify common questions and answers. You will gain confidence in front of others when you first brainstorm and practice with someone you are comfortable with.

* It doesn’t matter if it’s a job interview or a presentation to your peers, knowing what you’re speaking about will give you that aura of confidence you desire.

2. Overcome shyness.

Shyness can range from healthy to overwhelming and debilitating. Shyness is not the same as having low self esteem. Many shy people have a very positive image of themselves, but they lack assertiveness and confidence. If you’re shy, you can practice these techniques to overcome your shyness:

* Practice speaking. People who are shy often dislike the sound of their own voices. Practicing speeches in front of a mirror or with trusted friends will help you gain the confidence you need.

* Visualization. Positively visualize situations and circumstances before experiencing them. This will give you a better “what if” scenario, and help you be better prepared for any variation.

* Reinforce the positive. This is a way of thinking yourself out of being shy. By using affirmations to assert your positive characteristics, you can convince yourself that you are brilliant and worthy of great things. After all, sometimes the hardest person to convince is you!

3. Model your behavior after people you admire.

Chances are the people you admire have the assertiveness and confidence you’re looking for in your own life.

* Pay attention to what they say and how they say it.
* Watch their body language.
* Observe how they do things.

Studying people who have the traits you crave is one of the best ways to create those very same traits in yourself.

4. Learn the difference between being aggressive and assertive.

People respond better to an assertive person rather than an aggressive person.

* Aggressive people are seen as bullies who approach a problem with harsh criticism. They would say someone is doing a project “all wrong,” for example.


* An assertive person, on the other hand, approaches the same situation with concerns and ideas to improve the project.

* Your goal should be to approach people with positive attitudes and solutions to problems. If you respect others and treat them as you want to be treated, you’ll have the same courtesy returned to you.

5. Speak up.

Speak with confidence even if you don’t feel confident. Practice speaking this way. The more you practice the more it will become second nature.

First and foremost, you must believe in yourself and your abilities. Keep in mind that some of our greatest leaders didn’t start out being assertive and being confident. George Washington was too shy to talk to people growing up but he changed his ways, and so can you!

Being confident and assertive can enable you to achieve your goals with ease, whatever they may be.

Building self confidence will be easier if you use my tips on how to be assertive. Remember, being confident will get you a long way in life!

My regular readers know I have 7 children between 11 and 22 and they also know…I know about this stuff!

Today I thought I would write about adolsecent self esteem and how to boost your teens confidence. Teenagers problems are many and varied but let’s start off with the topic of self esteem and confidence – which if your child possesses – they are off to a great start in life!

About teenagers! Teens are stuck in an in-between world. They’re neither children nor adults. They’re adjusting to both physical and mental changes, including emotional extremes caused by additional activity in the part of the brain that regulates emotions. and hormones!

Needless to say, this is right up there on the teenagers problems list! for many teens, this is a very confusing time!

Along with the normal confusion, teens often suffer from low self esteem and peer pressure. Females are more prone to confidence issues and often get more attention for the problem, but males are just as susceptible. In fact, any teen is vulnerable to self esteem challenges.

As parents and involved adults, it’s our responsibility to help teens foster a healthy self esteem. It’s an ongoing process and there are no shortcuts. Teens need to be constantly reminded that they’re great kids and we’re proud of them.

Follow these strategies every day to boost your adolescents self esteem and confidence:

1. Set a positive example for your teenager.

No matter how distant your teen may seem, they still model your behaviors closely. If they see you have a self esteem issue, they may mimic that. Set an example with a positive attitude towards yourself and others.

2. Lessen teenagers problems by taking the time to talk with your teen.

While your teen may not want to talk to you, make sure they know you’re available if they change their mind. Sometimes just knowing you’re there for them makes a difference.

* Part of talking with a teen is actively listening. Teens with self esteem issues often feel that no one listens to them or cares about what they have to say. Show them you’re listening by letting them finish and then asking questions about what they said.

3. Help your teen set goals and celebrate when they reach them.

Start with small goals that they can achieve in a short period of time. When they reach the goal, celebrate with them. If it takes longer to reach their goal, keep encouraging them and their confidence will grow.

* Let your teen know that it’s okay to change their goal along the way. This is the way of life and an important skill teens need to learn. When circumstances change, we may need to re-adjust our plans. If your teen understands this, it will help build their confidence.

* Show them that taking definitive action to achieve their goal is just as important as reaching the goal.

4. Let your teen know you’re proud of them.

When they score an A, tell them how great they did. If they got a C, it’s just as important that your teen knows you’re proud of that grade as well. Encourage them to do their best and be proud of them when they do.

5. Encourage your teen to get involved in an activity they enjoy.

It could be any activity, club, or organization. Getting them involved in something will help them realize they’re more normal than they think!

* Encourage their individuality and interests by letting them pick the activity. Give them the freedom to express themselves by getting involved in their own interests and passions.

6. Encourage your teen to live a healthy lifestyle.

Many times problems can manifest when teens are couch potatoes or have unhealthy eating habits. When a teen eats a well balanced diet and gets a regular amount of exercise, it’s easier for them to feel better about themselves.

* Schedule your teen for a full check-up with your doctor. Your primary health care provider can rule out any physical causes for your teen’s low self esteem. They may also recommend additional steps or counseling that can help.

Teenage self esteem can be fragile. All the time you spend building your teen’s confidence can be torn down in one crappy afternoon.

As with anyone, teens will have good and bad days. Never be discouraged or give up on them. Follow these strategies and soon enough, you’ll know that you’re on the right path. Your teen will go through mood swings, but with time and love, they’ll emerge as a strong and confident adult.

Talk about teenagers problems and teach them that learning to deal with disappointment, criticism, and challenges is an important life skill. Talk to your teen about how important it is to know they’re still a great person worthy of love and affection, no matter what life may throw their way.

One thing I know about teenagers, is that if they are happy and confident – they do better in all area’s of their lives. I believe teenage self esteem or lack of it can have a hugely detrimental effect on our children, so it’s very important to help work on your adolescents self esteem and try to make it low on your teenagers problems list!

Self esteem is a very important part of a happy and successful life. If you enjoy a high self esteem you are in a much better place to enjoy your existance.

There are many things you can do to boost your own self-esteem. By taking the steps to build your own self worth and well being, you’re practicing the best form of preventative medicine possible.

Everyone needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a successful, contented life. While some people look to others and their material success to gauge their own self worth, the most important assessment is how you feel about yourself.

Here are the top seven ways to boost your self-esteem:

1. Surround yourself with positive people. Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next. When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you’ll be charged from their energy.

2. Measure your worth based on yourself, not on others. Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances. When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it’s a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they’re attacking.

Basing your self-esteem on another person’s opinions is never a good idea. Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

3. Strengthen your strengths. When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self esteem rises as well. We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

4. Do things you love. The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel. Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemical in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we’ve done them, and those memories increase our self esteem. Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

5. Set your thoughts on the things you want to attract. Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

6. Speak affirming thoughts to yourself. We’ve all heard the phrase “act as if.” Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” say, “I am a happy person.” Say it out loud everyday.

7. Believe in yourself. Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish. When you believe that you’re capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

You’ll begin to reprogram your subconscious to believe it as the truth, and soon you’ll be feeling that truth every day.

These simple steps to boost your self esteem are easy to put into practice in your day-to-day life. Start today and build your self worth and self-esteem into the foundation of your character. Your life will never be the same.

What you don’t know will hurt you!
The origin of this bold statement goes back to the fundamental law of cause and effect. There is a reason for everything that manifests around us in our lives, whether we are aware of our role in attracting it – or not!

Often times, we incorrectly tend to blame all kinds of circumstances for the challenges we experience in life. We fail to take responsibility for being the ultimate attractor of these less than desirable events. When we learn how to effectively shift how we think and behave in key situations, we take responsibility to creating the results we desire.

Now the real question becomes: What do we need to improve within ourselves so we become a more effective attractor of our desired results?

The answer to this great question is simply: Your Level of Self Esteem!

Your level of self esteem is the primary determining factor that influences your behavior in EVERY MOMENT of your Life!

You may be shocked to hear that my research has shown that over 85% of us experience some form of diminished self esteem in our lives. For many, their overall self esteem is at a low point, but more often, for most people, poor self esteem occurs in certain situations and settings.

Most irritating is that it’s in the key emotional moments of your life that diminished self esteem can hurt you most. For example, you may be applying for a job and you are given a tough question and all of a sudden, you start feeling uncomfortable or you may even sabotage your chances by saying something foolish because you lack the necessary self esteem to hold yourself as a great prospect for the company interviewing you. It could be the area of dating and intimacy where your poor self esteem might prevent you from achieving your desired result.

All too often unproductive levels of self esteem in certain key areas are passed on to children who experience problems similar to those that their parents have. Maybe it’s a business setting where you sometimes feel intimidated, shy or uncomfortable as a result of diminished self esteem.

I think it is fair to say that we all have experienced our share of these types of situations. The GOOD thing is, this does not need to continue to happen! You can be as strong, confident, and productive as you wish in any situation – and truthfully, you fully deserve that.

Getting back to Lesson 1: What you don’t know will hurt you!
Not knowing that you have deficits in your level of self esteem will hurt you because you are unaware of the extent of the problem that exists in your life. When you are unaware of a problem, you can not solve it intentionally. In order to find out where the problem is and how strong it is, please consider the following few questions:

1) In what situations do you feel uncomfortable?
2) How might this discomfort prevent you from achieving what you
desire?
3) Would you be more productive in these important life areas if
you raised your level of self esteem?

Self esteem or lack of it can be the determining factor to the way we live our lives and the success we achieve.

If you have low self esteem, you really need to consider a few things…..everyone is a unique and beautiful creature. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We also all possess many unique and individual gifts. Take a good look at yourself and find all the good things about yourself!

Then, be grateful and acknowledge yourself as a very special person! If you don’t think you’re great, how can you expect others too?

Do whatever it takes to build your self esteem and achieve success and happiness!