Personal Development and Self-Help Education » Relationships

I Love You, NOT BECAUSE OF, but IN SPITE OF…

Maryann — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 14:35:55 +0000

There live a couple who are happily married and blessed with one son. Their son, Robert, has been serving the country as a soldier. Robert has been away from his family for almost 5 years because he was part of the battalion which was sent to fight in the war at Middle East. The couple misses their son so much, that they look forward to his homecoming. They are always excited to receive letters and news about their son.
But, on the fifth year of Robert’s being away from home, they haven’t heard any news and received any letters from him for the past 5 months. One fine day, a telegram arrives. The envelope says that it’s from Robert. Their eyes get bigger, their hearts beat faster, and they hurriedly open the letter. The letter says:

Dear Mom and Dad,
Hi there! How are you? I miss you so much! I’m sorry for not sending you letters for the past months. I’ve been so busy then. I have a good news for you. Finally, I will be home! Next week, I will be there. I’m so excited to see you two. Mom, please prepare my favorite dish when I get there. Dad, please prepare my car as well. I will drive and go to places. I’m so excited to be home again!
By the way, may I ask a favor from you. May I bring my friend with me when I get there. He does not have a place to stay. He was badly injured in the war. A grenade exploded near him. And so, he lost his left leg and right arm. He does not anymore sight in his left eye. I pity him because no one will take care of him anymore. And so, I invited him to live in our house. Can we take care of him? Can we welcome him and have him as part of our family? I hope that you will consider and understand this.
Thanks! See you soon! Take care always!

Robert

The couple are so surprised with what they read. They are happy because finally they son will be back. But, at the same time, they are worried because they do not know what decision they will make about the favor Robert is asking from them. After 3 days of brainstorming, discussion and consultation, they finally made a decision. They sent a letter to Robert, and the letter reads:

Robert,
Hello son! We received your letter. We are glad to know that you will be home soon. We have cleaned your room and prepared the car and the house for your arrival. We have informed all your friends and our relatives that you will be back. All of us are excited to see you.
Robert, with regard to the favor you’ve mentioned in your letter, we’re having second thoughts about it. It’s good to help your friend. In fact, we are really sorry for what happened to him. We pity him. But, we are worried about what our neighbors will say about our family if your friend will be part of the family. The entire neighborhood will always be talking about our family. They might criticize, judge and belittle us. Our reputation and the good name of our family will be affected. And we can’t take it. We are sorry to say that we can’t accept your friend. There might be other people who might take care of him. We hope that you understand.
Robert, always take care there. See you soon.

Dad and Mom

After sending this letter to Robert, they have not heard anything about Robert. Days have passed… weeks have passed…. months have passed… There are no calls, no letters, no updates about Robert…

One cold night, while they are having their dinner and watching their favorite TV show, a news flash appears at the bottom of the screen. The news says “A young soldier shoots himself…” And so, they get nervous and hastily go to the address indicated in the news. When they get there, their jaws drop, hearts pound and eyes cry. They see their son, whom they love so much, lying on the floor filled with blood, without a left leg, right arm and left eye.

Friends, what kind of love do you have for your loved ones? There are people who love others BECAUSE they are good, talented, rich, lovable, beautiful, healthy, smart and other good reasons why they love them. Their love is based on these conditions that NEED to be present always in other people. Once these conditions disappear, love subsides. This explains why there are broken relationships and marriages. Many people enter into relationships because there are nice things that they see in their beloved. When these nice things start to deteriorate, love begins to break down. This kind of love does not last.
Genuine love should be unconditional. There should be no strings attached when we love others. We should love others IN SPITE OF their flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings. No problems, no challenges, no negative traits, nothing can stop us from loving others. Only UNCONDITIONAL LOVE lasts. It transcends and conquers all. Are you ready to love unconditionally? If yes, go on! If no, don’t enter into a relationship yet.

Happy Mothers’ Day!

Maryann — Sun, 08 May 2011 10:44:54 +0000

Hello! I would like to greet all mothers out there a HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY! This is a special day and a great opportunity for us to express our love and say thank you to our mothers who have been by our side through thick and thin. We thank you in a very special way for the sleepless night you had in taking care of us when were still small, for your patience for all our shortcomings, for understanding our weaknesses, and above all, for your unconditional love for us. This inspirational video is specially dedicated to you!

I believe that words are not sufficient to express how blessed, happy and grateful we are for God’s greatest gifts, our mothers. May these heartwarming messages make you feel that you’re the most special person in our lives for you occupy a very special place in our hearts.

Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.

That best academy, a mother’s knee.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

Nobody knows of the work it makes
To keep the home together.
Nobody knows of the steps it takes,
Nobody knows-but Mother.

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you – life

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best.

Once again, we say thank you and we love you to all the mothers. Nothing can be compared with the selfless love you have for your children. May you will forever be blessed and be a blessing to your children. HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY! You’re the greatest thing that God created. You’re God’s greatest gift to the humankind!

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The Joys of Parenthood

Maryann — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 02:54:01 +0000

People change and with that so do relationships change over the years. The only relationship that remains constant and where there are no equations is that of a parent-child. It is pure and blissful and the bond only grows with the years. Yes, I do agree that it is a great responsibility too, where there are good days and bad days. I think this ancient African adage “It takes a village to raise a child” sums up parenthood very well. We build a network of family and friends and neighbors as a part of our community. This community supports our efforts in raising our family.
As parents we do make a lot of adjustments and compromises and work towards providing for and taking care of our children. But, the fruitful joys of parenthood make the pains worth going through. After a long, stressful day at work the only thing that I look forward to and that brings a smile to my face is seeing my son. Without sounding too dramatic, I would say that all the day’s problems and worries become trivial when I see my son; it’s like all my issues just melt away. I always feel that children are a blessing and a joy to have. Having a child has given me a purpose and direction in life. I am motivated to live my life and fulfill my duties as a parent.
Just like in any relationship, there are disagreements and differences between a parent and child, but at the end of the day both know that they love each other. No matter how upset I am with my son, I always make it a point to tell him, “I maybe angry with you and yell at you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. I love you a lot.” Reassurance makes a child feel secure, loved and wanted.
All the innocence, hugs and kisses is what we will remember, even after our children grow up. The moments we spend with our children are the most memorable and will not come back, because even before you know it they’re all grown up.
You must be wondering what the purpose of this post is. I wanted to write something positive and encouraging for parents, who make so many sacrifices to bring up their children. We sometimes may not be considered the best qualified people for parenthood, but we do our best to provide and support our children and that makes each one of us the best parents.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

How to be a Great Husband and Father

Maryann — Wed, 19 May 2010 01:37:05 +0000

Men are usually faced with a conflicting situation – To provide for the wife and child(ren) a man has to work, sometimes long hours, and in doing so they miss out on spending time with their family. So, should they work more and make more money to provide or work less and make less money to spend time with the family? It’s a tough challenge to strike a balance between the two. Balancing this is the crux of keeping the family as one unit and ensuring everybody’s happiness.

Through all my years of living with my parents I remember the Golden Rule set by my father – ‘No matter where you go or what you do during the day, be home for dinner’. Dinner was considered an exclusive family time in my house. And, my father rarely broke the rule and rarely allowed us to break this rule. That was a time when we would all get together and catch up with each other, and unwind the day’s happenings. There were days when we’d be rolling on the floor with laughter or when we’d be upset with each other over something or when nothing eventful would happen; however that was our pristine family time. That was the time when my father was balancing his role as the husband and father – knowing what’s happening in his wife’s and children’s lives, understanding their needs, giving undivided attention and building lasting memories. I still look back with fond memories of those days and wonder if people still believe in such activities.

Setting priorities is very important when it comes to balancing conflicting interests. While it’s important to fulfill your duties at work, it is equally important to fulfill your duties as a husband and father.

Set an exclusive time for the family, when you can unwind your day and catch up with your family. Divide and plan your activities between activities for the whole family and things that you can do exclusively with your wife. You don’t have to plan anything big. Maybe you can have something like a game night on one day of the week, when the whole family can get together and play some games. With your wife, maybe you could have a lunch date day if feasible.

Offer to take turns with your wife for the pickups and drop-offs. Your wife shouldn’t be the only one that takes your children to their school/classes/play dates. Offer to do that job sometimes, this would not only give your wife a much needed break, but help you connect with your children and know more about their activities.

Be the anchor for your family. Even if you don’t understand why they are upset be supportive of them when they are upset. You can rationalize later, when everyone calms down.

Everyone likes surprises. So, make room for some occasional surprises. Be the “Neighbor’s envy and Family’s pride”.

Mary-Ann Roche

How to have a Healthy Father Daughter Relationship

Maryann — Sat, 15 May 2010 02:43:16 +0000

Being a parent is a great joy and with that comes great responsibility to ensure that our upbringing is not lacking and helps our children blossom into good individuals. It’s a very tough balance to maintain between over involving, being overprotective and over indulging to being actively involved, protecting and providing.
Father is the first interface to the male world for a daughter. Having a healthy relationship with your daughter will help mould her into a confident, strong woman, who can make the right choices in life, especially men. Here are a few things you could do to nourish the wonderful relationship with your daughter:
1)   Be progressive in your thinking and the way you deal with your daughter. You cannot always treat her as a child. Make your daughter feel respected and treat her according to her age. She is not always going to be your little princess. Let her grow and feel like the woman she can and wants to be.
2)   Be open in your conversations with your daughter. Don’t just hear, try to understand and listen to what she has to say. Don’t use harsh words; rationalize with her when you disagree with her choices or actions. Harsh words tend to make a lasting impression on a child and may harm her self-confidence.
3)   Guide her and help her make sensible decisions, but also give her independence. Don’t try to impose your opinions.
4)   Set a good example for your daughter. Treat your daughter’s mother well, whether you are together or not. You cannot show double standards in your treatment of her mother or other women in your life. Your daughter should know that you respect women.
5)   Don’t hesitate from showing affection and expressing your love for your daughter. Knowing that she is loved will give her a sense of security and help her build healthy relationships.
6)   Play an active role and encourage your daughter in all her endeavors. Resist the temptation to over involve.
7)   Discipline her when the need arises and be reasonable when setting boundaries. You can’t control what she is exposed to outside your home, but you can teach her how to handle the outside world.
Values do not change with time; we should always hold onto them and pass them onto the next generation succeeding us. But, the way the values are passed on changes with time and people. Make it a relationship that your daughter can cherish for the rest of her life.

Mary-Ann Roche

Aspects of Intimacy in a Relationship

Maryann — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 11:56:47 +0000

I caught up with a friend for a coffee recently and she was telling me how had just had her regular session with her counsellor. Being recently married for the second time she told me there were so many issues surrounding her relationship that regular sessions helped her understand the important aspects of intimacy.

Interestingly enough she handed me a sheet of paper from her Counsellor outlining various aspects of intimacy and asked me if I felt I was ready for a relationship again. Here’s what I read:

Communication Intimacy – Connecting with your partner through talking. Sure I can do that I thought, that’s a no brainer.

Creative Intimacy – Sharing expressions of love in creative ways. Hmm not sure I can remember how to do that, I guess it would come back to me with practise!

Emotional Intimacy – Being in tune with each other’s emotions. Sure I can remember being in tune with someone like that but not convinced I want to be again..

Financial Intimacy – Developing a unified plan for budgeting, spending etc. Well hmm, for a minute there I thought she said financial dependency and I nearly forgot everything then and there and went out and found myself a man! Then I realised it was all about joining funds together and having to discuss what gets spent on what…ah no thanks.

Last but no least, Conflict Intimacy – Facing and struggling with differences together. That’s where I really had to draw the line..Having been in a relationship for a very long time and trusting someone beyond anything to find out when it really mattered, when it was a life or death situation that there was no facing of a struggle together I had to wish for dear friend all the best in her relationship.

Yes negative I know, and perhaps one day I will be ready and willing to understand the complex issues of intimacy in a relationship but until then…its singledom for me!

Mary-Ann Roche.

9 Ways to Forge Loving Ties That Last a Lifetime in Your Children

Maryann — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:56:02 +0000

Children have an incredible capacity to learn. They’re like sponges in the formative years and they easily form memories that they cherish forever.

There are many things you can do in order to build loving ties that stand the test of time. It’s a great way to teach your children trust. When you nurture a positive relationship with your children, it’ll be far more likely that they’ll continue to build happy and healthy relationships as adults in the years ahead.

Here are some ways to forge loving ties with your children:

1. Show them your gratitude. You may feel gratitude for your children always, but it’s what you project to them that really counts. Ensure you verbally and physically show them that gratitude. When you do, they will receive the loving message that you care about them.

2. Demonstrate respect. Respect your children, just as you expect them to respect you. They will come to appreciate the saying, “treat people in the manner in which you would like to be treated”.

3. Love your children unconditionally. There will certainly be times when your children frustrate or disappoint or anger you, but make it clear to them that you still love them irrespective of anything they do. It doesn’t mean you condone their behavior, but it does mean that whenever they do the wrong thing, you still love them no matter what, you simply dont like what they are choosing to do at the time.

4. Make time for your children. It is too easy to become busy with your everyday life and end up doing what needs to be done for your children instead of making the time to actively participate in the activities they enjoy. Ask them what they’d like to do and get involved in their life. This is a great way to bond with your child and to really get to know them.

5. Encourage them. When they face a challenge, this is an opportunity for you to step up and assist. Be there to encourage them in the right direction without being too pushy. Provide them with words of encouragement and let them know how much you believe in their abilities.

6. Help them build confidence and independence. Always remind them that they can accomplish anything with a positive mindset. Encourage independence in your children so they can remain confident and stand on their own to feet, and learn to truly believe in themselves.

7. Listen to your children. They have many important lessons, ideas, and stories to share! When they know that you’re truly listening to them, they also know that you care and love them.

8. Make dinner together. Having meals together as a family is important because many times that’s the only time of day where everyone can be together. Rather than silence or making small talk, use the opportunity to share love and support and to talk about their day. Use this time once again to get to know them a little better, while teaching them the importance of this loving time that is set aside everyday in their lives. Later in life, your children will cherish these wonderful family dinners.

9. Lock in family time. Establish regular opportunities dedicated to building memories with your family. Have each family member choose an activity to enjoy together. Laughing and having fun with one another will help to build ties that last forever.

When you use these tips to show your family how much you care, the feelings are more likely to become mutual.

Spend individual one on one time with each member of your family and get involved in each other’s lives so as to connect on a deeper level. It is these moments you children will carry with them to adulthood and pass on to their children.

By MaryAnn Roche

Not a Morning Person?

Maryann — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 01:43:28 +0000

Tips to Make Your Mornings Easier and More Productive

Are mornings the the most difficult part of your day? Some of us find it tough to get going in the mornings no matter how much sleep we have had.

If you are a Mum and you need to get children dressed, fed and out the door with backpacks and school books, mornings can be very grueling. Now even if you aren’t a morning person, there are some strategies that you can engage that will help you feel motivated and looking forward to the day, as opposed to dreading it.

Try the following tips to help you cope with those challenging early mornings:

1. Get to bed on time the night before to ensure you are getting enough sleep. Of course, sometimes even if you have had your required sleep, you will still feel weary in the morning when you wake, but that may be due to the actual quality of sleep you are getting. This could be the very reasson why you can’t get up with a smile on your face in the mornings. So get to bed on time for a week and monitor yourself in the mornings to determine if you feel any different.

2. Try waking up earlier, I know its the last thing you want to do but this might give you a little more time in the mornings to get organised. If you’re trying to squeeze every possible moment of sleep into your schedule, when you do get up you have to madly rush around, which is too stressful first thing in the morning. Much better to wake up and allow yourself a very quiet, calm moments before your feet hit the floor! Enjoy the sunrise while you have a leisurely cup of coffee, before the rush begins.

3. Preparation. Get organised for the morning the night before. Do whatever you can the night before to make your mornings easily and less stressful.Make sure your keys are in the usual spot, make the lunches and organise the backpacks, and have everyone’s clothes laid out. That way when you wake in the morning there is much less to be stressed about!

4. Turn some music on. My music teacher always taught me to make sure I had music in the house with my children. Nice relaxing music in the morning can be a beautiful way to start your day. It can ease you gently into the day whilst keeping you calm, even if you are busy! Enjoying these first few moments that you’re awake can make a massive difference to your entire day.

5. Meditate. Meditation is great for calming your life down or slowing your life down. It allows you to center yourself and go back to a state of peacefulness which in turn can carry you throughout your day. I would recommend though that you mediate in an upright position so you’re not tempted to fall back asleep.

6. Try to develop a positive mindset. If you have a tendency to be grumpy in the morning, make a conscious decision to start your day in a positive way. Try to imagine the wonderful things that may come your way today. If you have something not so pleasant that you have to face then try to focus on all other aspects of your day which are positive.

7. Be thankful. Start your day by giving thanks for everything you have in your life. Being grateful sets the tone for the day.

If mornings just arent your thing, try to make them easier on yourself and others by remembering to use these strategies and I think you will be surprised at the difference they will make!.

MaryAnn Roche.

Raising Young Children Today

Maryann — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:00:27 +0000

I spent the weekend interstate visiting my sister, her husband and their 3 beautiful children. My visits are always hectic and full of precious moments with my little nephews and niece.

We were celebrating my little niece’s 2^nd birthday, so the house was filled with laughter, tears, presents, birthday cake, grandparents, friends and relatives! Oh and lots of children!

My time with these precious little ones always seems to slip by too fast, and this morning I awoke early as I had an early flight home to catch. Noah, my 3 year old nephew woke also as we were camping out together and accompanied his Mum to the airport with me. Yesterday his little sister had been given a “pretend” lipstick for her birthday much to his disgust, so his Mum gave him a “real “half used lipstick and told him that it was his now, and as such he could use it to his hearts content.

On the way to the airport we chatted and reminisced about the weekend and looking to the back of the people mover I saw my beautiful nephew with ruby red lips courtesy of the gold case he held tightly in his hand. His Mum and I laughed and I remember thinking just how beautiful he was with his mop of curly red hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Part of the journey involves about 10 minutes of an underground tunnel and I remember turning around to check on him again once we came out of the tunnel only to find the lipstick had now made its way to both his hands and his entire right leg, and he was madly working on ensuring his left leg would surely match his right.

I remember his Mum’s reaction to this news: “Oh well I did tell him when I gave it to him it was his now and up to him to use it how he wanted”. I was and continue to be amazed at what a wonderful Mother she is, I don’t know that I would have been that calm 20 something years ago if my children had done that?

I am in awe of how she guides her children to make choices by outlining the consequences of those choices, and it is amazing to watch a 2 year old comprehend! She recognizes her children as individuals with different thoughts and feelings and likes and dislikes and encourages sibling love and sharing and caring toward others.

While she guides and directs them through life every day, she also encourages their own independence, teaching them responsibility and reward.

My elder nephew who is 5 was working in the garden with his Grandfather the day before and the task was to move toys from the front garden to the back. They both began gathering the toys and walking back and forth with them until I heard Isaac say to his Grandfather: “I have an idea, how about you collect the toy and bring it to me, I will stand in the middle and then carry that toy to the end, to save you walking”. At 5 years of age his problem solving skills were already clearly developing and so was his confidence. I don’t think when I was 5, my father would have liked me putting forth such a suggestion!

By MaryAnn Roche

Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Maryann — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:09:46 +0000

Should I Stay Or Should I Go………….

For those of you who are the same vintage as I am, you would remember this as a very popular song title. It may bring back some very different memories of a time when things seemed much simpler and life was generally pretty easy. Our youthful memories, should be filled with heady romances and first kisses. Sadly though, we form habits in relationships, that are hard to break, or routines that are hard to put behind us.

We all at around the age of twenty to twenty five start to mature and partners or relationships that once we thought were sweet and tender, suddenly become manipulative and controlling. We can feel this happening but tend to keep telling ourselves that our partner is tired, stressed or even worse, we are doing things to make them unhappy and insecure. Mind you, this behavior is not age restrictive. I have to say that I know many people in their 40′s, 50′s even 60′s who are still repeating this pattern, over and over again. This type of relationship is very hard to walk away from, especially if you have a soft easy going nature, or have self esteem issues. You start to think that this is what you deserve. WRONG!

Rarely do you see strong confident types of people caught up in relationships they are not enjoying, they have the strength and self confidence to make a life for themselves, with or without a partner. If you ever find yourself in a situation where everyone around you can see these signs and they are prepared to put themselves in a vulnerable position by addressing it with you, be rest assured this comes from a place of love. Nobody wants to sabotage your happiness, least of all those who love you.

Naturally, everyone one will come across someone they think is unsuitable for their friend, daughter, son, parent, BUT if this is the majority and not the minority then we really need to take stock, listen and find the strength to move on. The old adage that “Life is too Short” is very true indeed.

Each new day is a gift and not a given.

Naturally, every aspect of our lives cannot possibly be perfect, but the person we choose to be ‘The One’, should make our heart skip a beat, make the room light up when they smile. Life offers us no guarantees, so we need to be as certain, as we can be of the person we choose to be our lover and our friend. God created something wonderful and unique, YOU!. You would not buy a BMW for your worst neighbour, so don’t give the greatest asset you have to someone undeserving.

Walking away from something that isn’t working takes an awful lot of inner strength and it is so much easier to stay and keep the peace, your partners peace, not yours long term. Find the inner strength, combine it with the love and support from family and friends and you will soon be on your way to a happier, healthier life, with or without a partner.

By MaryAnn Roche.

How Could She Not Know Her 2 Year Old Was Missing?

Maryann — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:26:02 +0000

How Could She Not Know Her 2 Year Old Was Missing?

Earlier this week my daughter and I were returning home from our usual early morning coffee run, when she saw a young child wandering down the street alone, who couldn’t have been more than 3 years old. As we live about 500 metres from the river, it was quite disturbing to see what appeared to be, a young toddler wandering toward the river and the main street in our suburb.

I pulled the car over as Steph jumped out and stopped this little boy in his tracks. Wearing his older sister’s shoes, on the wrong feet no less, he tried to tell us his name. Judging by his height and size I guessed he was about 2 years old.

Trying to find out how and why he was wondering the streets was near to impossible due to his inability to communicate. After many attempts to find out where his Mummy lived we began asking locals who were scurrying off to catch the ferry in their suits and carrying their briefcases. Luckily where we live is a relatively peaceful suburb in Brisbane Australia, and I managed to stop a gentleman in a suit who had just come from a nearby apartment complex and he was kind enough to accompany my daughter back into the building in an attempt to find this little boy’s mother. While they did their investigating I again sat with this dear little boy in an attempt to have him “point out” where he lived. The man in the suit emerged; he had done all he could, and went on his merry way, unfortunately no luck there.

The little boy was pointing to the top of an apartment complex and as he did so a young man approached us and asked us if we needed help. He lived in the complex so was more than happy to let us into this gated complex. We did so, and holding this little boy’s hand in mine, walked past the swimming pool to the other side of the complex, up one flight of stairs to the first floor where he hesitated and looked at each apartment door. He decided none of these was home to him, and took us up yet another flight of stairs where miraculously he walked right up to the front door and said “Mummy”.

As my daughter knocked on the door we truly believed this could not be home to this little boy. When the woman opened the door we asked if she had been missing her son, and as we did so she fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Her two older children who couldn’t have been more than 4 and 6 years old stood by the door, failing to understand the enormity of what could have happened to their little brother. She explained that she put the TV on for them to watch as she took a shower.

I explained to her that we had been searching for someone to claim him for over 25 minutes and could not comprehend that she didn’t know he was missing. This 2 year old had managed to open the apartment door, walk down 3 flights of stairs, past a swimming pool, get through the incoming gate to the complex (I still don’t know how or whether someone let him out) and headed off down the street. Another 3 minutes and he would have ended up in the river or run over by someone in the main street.

What started out as an ordinary day for us became something that quite honestly distressed me more as the day progressed. As a parent myself, I know I took showers every morning when my children were small, but would I not have checked for safety first? The child was missing for over 25 minutes, how long does a shower take? As a parent, wouldn’t you leave the shower door open and perhaps have the little 2 year old in the bathroom with you. As a parent wouldn’t you attend to the basics of safety? Can the child get out of the apartment and if so how?

Honestly as parents we are horrified when a little child goes missing, but to be frank I can now see how easily this can happen. As parents we really do need to treasure our babies and understand they rely on us for their complete safety.

The most astonishing thing of all??? The family only just moved from New Zealand to Australia less than 5 days prior. What an incredible little boy to be able to find his way home….

By MaryAnn Roche.

How To Have A Happy & Healthy Marriage

Maryann — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:56:22 +0000

How To Have A Happy and Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage can form the foundation or building blocks to stable family environment. Having a strong partnership with your loved one can well lead to many years of happiness. However marriage is definately something that requires daily effort. It is not a set and forget arrangement. To work together and build a successful marriage takes love, devotion, respect amongst other things.

Michael Web (a guest of Oprah) recently wrote an interesting book on the secret to having a happy and blissful relationship. To get your copy click here!
Certainly when you look at the statistics for modern day marriages, things are not encouraging, however there is a lot you can do to ensure you do not become one of these statistics. To be married to another individual firstly in my opinion, takes incredible courage. You stand there and pledge your undivided love and complete devotion to this person for the rest of your days! Do we really know when we make this vow what marriage is going to entail? If not, is it better that way?

Marriage over the years seems to unfold and develop and change and grow along the way. There will undoubtedly be many many conflicts and differing of opinions. How one deals with those conflicts and how much they respect the other really is an integral part of the solving process. Always being right, or having the last word really does not work in a marriage as marriage is full of comprimise and not assigning blame and coming to something that is workable.

In a past life I spent quite a lot of time interviewing for new staff and one of my questions was; “What do you think is the single most important factor in clear effective communication”?” You would not believe the number of people who went on about honesty, being clear in what they say etc, when really it all begins with LISTENING. If we do not listen to the other person, our conversation can be fraught with all sorts of problems!

Marriages seem full of decisions. There are always the small ones such as choosing the centerpiece for the wedding table or big decisions such as where you will both live. A good marriage will require that you know how to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings with one another and be prepared to understand that input is required from both parties when it comes to decision making. It takes two to arrive at a suitable effective decision. Try to understand why your partner wants to make a certain decision and remember if it is not something you agree with, do not react rashly but rather take your time to really hear what they are saying before determining your own feelings on the subject. How important is it to you.

I have a few rules in life but one is that we all have what I call our non-negotiables and these are our core values, the ones that we simply cannot move on. There are generally about 5 of these. Then there are our secondary values if you like, those ones that when coming together with another individual in a relationship, are able to be massaged into something workable for both people.

I think at the end of the day, and there will be the most challenging of days when you really will ask yourself what you are doing, and these are the days where you must reflect on the feelings you felt when you met your partner, what they said, what attracted you to them in the first instance. Reflecting upon this is what carries you through.

Lastly remember saying I love you costs nothing. It is funny that something that is free is so often overlooked yet undervalued and so often forgotten after a marriage.

By MaryAnn Roche.

8 Easy Ways to Motivate Your Children

Maryann — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:17:19 +0000

8 Easy Ways to Motivate Your Children

Our children are one of the most important and precious people in our lives. We want the best for them and hope they strive to do well in all things. Children, just like adults, can develop motivational roadblocks that hold them back from achieving what they’re meant to do.

Since the inception of the Internet, television, video games, and social networking, motivating our children has gotten progressively more difficult. To have them complete schoolwork, do some chores around the house, get more involved with school activities, or even just go outside to get some fresh air can be a struggle.

Here are some easy ways to motivate your children:

1. Praise your child for their accomplishments.

When your child accomplishes something, no matter how big or small, be sure to express how proud you are of them. If they know that they’ve made you happy, they’re more apt to strive to make that happen again.

2. Avoid focusing on the negative.

We all make mistakes, so it’s much more productive not to harp on them. You’ll receive much better results by focusing on what your child does well rather than the few mistakes they may make.

3. Show pride in your child’s work.

Display a good grade or report card. Placing their work on the refrigerator door, believe it or not, still works wonders! When his accomplishments are proudly displayed, he’ll be motivated to achieve as much as he possibly can.

4. Brag.

Call a grandparent, aunt, or uncle and tell them about your child’s recent accomplishment. When your child sees that you take the time to make a special phone call because you’re so proud, it encourages them and boosts their confidence.

5. Use rewards.

Every child likes to be rewarded for good work. You can try things like a weekly allowance or a special treat, like a movie or ice cream, as a reward for good behavior. Whatever the reward, children will strive to do their best to obtain these special treats.

* This can be used for just about anything from a good grade to washing the family dog. Children enjoy being able to receive something tangible for a job well done.

6. Show sincere enthusiasm in the things your child enjoys.

As a child grows, his interests may change frequently. As a parent, it’s important that you keep up with your child’s likes and dislikes.

7. Sit down and talk with your child.

Find out why they’re interested in certain things and how you can help them with their activities. If you show sincerity and really listen to what they’re telling you, it’ll be a big motivating factor.

8. Don’t overwhelm your child with goals.

Naturally, we want our children to succeed, but sometimes we can overdo it. After the homework, chores, and after-school activities, children deserve time to just be children.

* If you give them some free time to do what they want, whether it be playing video games, watching television, or anything else they choose, it will keep them motivated to do other things as well.

Final thoughts on motivating your children

Children are each a unique individual and have different interests and goals in life. Though at times their motivation may waiver, we, as parents, will be there to point them in the right direction. Using these suggestions on how to motivate your children will make that process just a little bit easier!

By MaryAnn Roche.

How You Can Command the Respect of Others

Maryann — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 03:27:41 +0000

How You Can Command the Respect of Others

Do you ever get the feeling that your first name should be Doormat?
Would you like to be able to command the respect of others?
Do you feel as if people take advantage of you on a daily basis? Are you allowing this to happen?

Learn about You and Get What You Need – Click Here!
If you responded yes to one or all of these important questions, it’s obvious that you don’t have the respect of others, but that’s why you’re here to learn!

Respect is something you earn. However, no one deserves to be taken advantage of. Fortunately, it’s possible to change how others treat you!

Implement these simple tips and tricks and you’ll command the respect of others you deserve in no time:

1. Live by the Golden Rule.

Most of us are familiar with the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would want done to you” is a wonderful philosophy when attempting to garner respect. Always treat others as you expect to be treated. People will tend to reciprocate and treat you the same way. If they don’t, then you can ease your way out of the relationships over time, if possible.

2. Put yourself first.

An example of this would be telling your friend that you cannot babysit her 4-year old so she can get her nails done because you’re busy with your own personal appointments and schedule.

Find the Real You, Meet Your Higher Self – Click Here!

* You have to make yourself a priority. If people see that you respect yourself, then you’ll ultimately be respected, too.

3. Use strong body language.

When speaking face to face with others, portray the fact that you’re strong and important. Stand straight, look people in the eye, and speak forcefully but not overwhelmingly so.

* If your body language shouts, “I am important and I respect myself,” you’ll surely gain the respect of others.

* Those people who stare at the floor when speaking, avoid eye contact, and whisper their words are telling others that they don’t believe they deserve respect and attention. Always remember to stand tall and proud; you’re important and you deserve to be recognized!

4. Speak positively.

In addition to having strong body language, the words you use to express yourself are also extremely important when trying to earn the respect of others. Learn to speak in positively and authoritatively. Don’t be boastful, but don’t demean or belittle yourself either.

* Leave the impression that you’re intelligent, well spoken and confident. If you portray yourself in this manner others will treat you the same way.

5. Surround yourself with the right people.

Let’s face it: there are people in this world who are disrespectful to everyone and everything. No matter what you do to command respect, nothing may work!
Learn about You and Get What You Need – Click Here!

* You may need to take some time and rethink those you’re spending time with. They may not be the kind of people who have your best interests at heart.

6. Stand up for yourself.

If people are disrespectful to you, how do you respond? Do you say something to the offending person or do you just go on with life? People treat us in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

* If you confront the person and voice your opinion and unhappiness, chances are good that person won’t treat you that same way in the future. It’s not about being confrontational, but a simple “I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to me” can go a long way.

Final thoughts on getting the Respect you Deserve

We all have a desire and need for respect. By making some small changes, you’ll be able to open yourself to receiving the respect of others, while learning how to also express your respect. Use these techniques in all interactions every day to command the respect of others and gain the respect you deserve.

By MaryAnn Roche.

How to Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

Maryann — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:55:49 +0000

How to Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

Do you tend to attract positive realtionships or more negative relationships than than you would like? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn’t you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

As we travel through our life’s journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Others Just Need Help! – Click Here to Save Your Relationship Now!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy and attract positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience.

Wonderful relationships don’t occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that’s long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

* When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don’t rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2. Believe that you’re deserving of it.

Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

* If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.  

* Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you’ll be rewarded with positive results.

* You’ll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you’re giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3. Be true to yourself and others.

If you’re not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don’t try to be something that you’re not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

* As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They’ll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.

Dont Just Bail! – Click Here to Save Your Relationship Now!

* Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don’t take relationships for granted.

Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you’d like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

* By professing your gratitude genuinely, you’ll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest.

If you’re in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

* Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.

Final thoughts on Positive Realationships

As the old saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easily.” Attracting positive relationships - and weeding out the negative ones – may not be an easy task, but it’ll make for a better and more fulfilling life.

Top 5 Family Stress Relief Strategies

Maryann — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 03:40:04 +0000

Top 5 Family Stress Relief Strategies

Stress comes in all forms and from all directions, especially for families in these super busy, technologically advanced, yet tough economic times. However, even with the technology we’ve available to us, one of the biggest causes of stress in a family is lack of communication.

The unfortunate reality is that kids communicate with seemingly everyone but their family through texting, email, Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter. Nowadays it can be tough to get through to your kids, which makes it a challenge to strengthen your family’s bond.

Stress Relief by Getting Involved with Your Kids

One way to get more involved with your kids is to start communicating in a way that they’ll actually listen.

This may mean that you need to learn how to text, email and get on the social networks your kids are on. The idea is to be a source of support for your child, and that means you need to be an active player in their life, even if they push you away.

Even if you get active in your child’s life online, the best way to communicate with your kids is while they’re at home. Talk to them face to face and don’t be afraid to ask questions. You might be surprised at how they respond. At first it may seem awkward, but the more you do it, the easier communication becomes.

Communication with Your Spouse to Lessen Stress

If you’re lacking an open line of communication with your spouse, one reason may be that you’re not speaking each other’s love language or understanding their relating style. This means that you need to discover what your spouse responds to the best. Is it touch, the words you say, gifts, acts of service, or spending quality time together? Once you know how to show love to your spouse, show it abundantly!

Also, listen to your spouse’s feelings, as this will often give you ideas about how you can fill their love tank. If your spouse says something along the lines of “You never touch me anymore” or she wants to hold hands all the time, her love language is physical touch. If your spouse often uses the phrase “We never spend any time together,” and likes to just sit and talk, their love language is quality time.

Great Stress Relief – Spend Quality Time With Your Family

Another big stress on today’s family is not spending enough time together. This is most likely because everyone is so busily involved in other activities that you barely have time to yourself, let alone one another.

So, how can you make time to spend with your family?

1. Set aside at least one day out of each week and deem it family day or game night. Spending quality time with your family shows that you’re interested in what they’re doing and that you care about them. Often teens think that their parents don’t care about them because they’re never home, or they feel that their parents play a passive role in their lives. And because kids and teens often don’t spend quality time with their families, they go elsewhere to get the attention they crave. Unfortunately, elsewhere may not be a good place for your kids to be!

2. Ensure you make time for your spouse. Alone time is important for all marriages so you can continue to strengthen your relationship and explore one another’s dreams and desires for the family unit.

3. Make sure your family enjoys at least one meal together each day. Statistics show families that eat together, stay together. Children do better in school and the overall atmosphere in the home is simply happier when you make eating together a priority.

The Financial Burden and Related Stress

Financial problems are another cause of major stress in families today. Often, when the parents aren’t in control of their finances, their children suffer the same financial burdens later on in life.

As parents, you must teach your children financial responsibility from an early age. Get your little ones a piggy bank to help them learn about the importance of saving money. As they get older, include them in the budget planning and bill paying. Help them understand the concept of financial responsibility.

Children need to know that money must be earned and that your debit or credit card isn’t magically filled with money all the time.

To recap, The Top 5 Family Stress Relievers are:

1. Communicate by speaking directly to your family.

2. Learn what love language your children and spouse speaks.

3. Spend time quality time together as a family with a family day or family game night.

4. Sit down for at least one meal a day with each other.

5. Openly discuss your finances and financial situation with your family.

Incorporating these stress relief strategies into your family life will help you have a more open relationship with each family member. Plus, you’ll be able to relieve the stress and tension and replace it with joy, health, and happiness!

Unconditional Love – Want Some?

Maryann — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:28:48 +0000

Unconditional Love – Want Some?

What’s required to show someone unconditional love when you’re in a relationship? Being there physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, through thick and thin, no matter what may happen is unconditional love.

In order to build a solid foundation in any healthy relationship, whether it’s a marriage, friendship or relationships with a sibling or child, you must learn to love unconditionally without limits or judgment.

Loving someone unconditionally can be hard to do and goes against the grain you were probably taught in today’s Western society. Society tells you to get even or get revenge. However, to love unconditionally requires forgiveness and letting go of the wrongs.

So How Do You Love Unconditionally?

* Emotionally:

When you’re with someone emotionally, you’re offering your support by allowing them to honestly and openly express their feeling.

Supporting someone emotionally with unconditional love also means that you’re there selflessly to help them work through their feelings. The goal is for the person to rise above the negative emotions and turn them into positive ones. You’re the shoulder to cry on! 

* Mentally:

Supporting a loved one mentally means that you help them think through their actions, motives, and desires. You help them do this by finding out what’s going on inside. To support someone mentally requires you to help your loved one process their thoughts through to all possible outcomes. 

* Physically:

Being “there” for someone physically means just what the word implies. You’re there for them in person, standing by their side, listening to them, or talking with them so they’re not alone. This may be at three in the afternoon, or three in the morning! 

* Spiritually:

Spiritually supporting a loved one means you pray for and with them and help them grow in all aspects of their life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Often spiritual support is given without a person being aware, through prayer. 

Unconditional love does not mean……

giving into every whim or desire. Often people confuse unconditional love with spoiling. Giving into a person’s every want or desire when it isn’t appropriate can actually harm their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being. For example, giving into your kid’s demands for junk food may make them happy today, but it isn’t a good source of nourishment in the long run. 

Love Unconditionally by Letting Go 

True love is shown when you try to help another become a better person and unconditional love is shown when you still love them even if they refuse to change.  

Many times it’s necessary to “let go” of a loved one, while still loving them unconditionally, because they refuse to take the necessary steps to improve. An example of this would be an alcoholic or drug addict. You still love the person, but when they refuse to work at overcoming their addiction or don’t care about themselves or who they’re hurting, you must let go.

Sometimes this means, letting them spiral down until they hit rock bottom. Often you get hurt in the process because you love them and don’t want to see them go down this road, so loving unconditionally also means that you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to try again. 

So YOU Want Some Unconditional Love?

Love isn’t an emotion or feeling – it’s a choice. This is especially true with unconditional love. In healthy relationships, you show unconditional love by overlooking petty mistakes and forgoing judgment and grudges. Unconditional love requires self-sacrifice and forgiveness on your part and it’s through unconditional love that those you care about will change for the better.

And to finish off – if you can follow the above advice and show unconditional love, you will find that all of a sudden you are receiving love unconditionally in return! – Enjoy!

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind, Get a Pet

Maryann — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 02:34:36 +0000

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind, Get a Pet

If you are looking for new ways to get a healthy body and healthy mind, look no further! Get a Pet – read on to find all the personal benefits you will experience by having pets!

The bond that develops between a human and animal companion can be just as strong as the bond between two people. Caring for a pet can be good for your physical and mental health. An animal companion can be a loyal friend and a valuable member of your family, plus, pets provide companionship and unconditional love.

Pets Give you a Healthy Mind……

Stress

People with pets also tend to be more positive and have less stress. They’re better able to cope with anxiety and deal with stressful situations. The action of petting a dog or cat can relieve stress and lower blood pressure. Pets help people relax and can even improve their attitude.

Companionship

A pet can bring fulfillment into the lives of those who might otherwise suffer from loneliness or depression. Dogs, specifically, provide a feeling of safety and help keep you active.

Mature adults, especially those who’ve lost a spouse, can find comfort and companionship in a pet. They often go through a period of feeling as if they’re no longer needed, but owning a pet can fill that need.

Socialization

A pet can help break the ice when meeting new people. Pet owners who are new to their neighborhood or have difficulty meeting people may find that their pets give them a chance to make new friends.

Animals are naturally curious and may run up to people in an attempt to make their own introductions. Conversations may start between two dog owners and a new friendship begins.

Children

Children who are shy can benefit greatly from having a pet. Animals can help draw a shy child out of their shell. There are many other benefits of having a pet for a child:

* A pet can be a good way to start a conversation and make friends.
* A family pet can boost a child’s self-esteem.
* Pets can give a child a sense of protection and security.
* Pet ownership can help teach children about interaction, compassion and responsibility.
* Pets can also help children cope with and overcome fears. For example, a child that’s afraid to go to sleep in his own room may adapt more easily if the family cat or dog is allowed to accompany them to bed.

Pets give you a Healthy Body……

Health Benefits

Studies have shown owning a pet provides many health benefits. People with pets tend to have lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and are generally healthier. Pet owners who’ve suffered a major illness recuperate quicker than those without a pet.

Pets have even been shown to increase a person’s immunity to allergies, especially in children. Owning a pet can reduce the risk of allergies, asthma and even heart disease.

Exercise

Pets can keep you active. Dogs need regular exercise and their owners can reap the rewards of keeping fit and healthy in the process. Having a dog forces you to get up and go outside whether you want to or not.

Taking the dog for a nice leisurely walk is a great way to get moving, enjoy the outdoors, and get some fresh air. If you feel up to it, you can always go for a run with your dog. You’ll both get some exercise and have fun.

If health prevents you from walking a dog, consider getting a cat instead. Cats can be very loveable and energetic. Toss a ball across the floor or pull out a ball of yarn, and your cat will keep you both entertained for hours.

With a cat, you may not get as much exercise as you would with a dog, but you’ll get plenty of laughs, and laughter is great for your health, too!

There’s a reason pets were put on this earth as companions, and we’ve only touched on some of them here. If you’re considering letting a pet join your household, it’s proven that they can do positive things for you.

Not only can they help you achieve a healthy body but also a healthy mind! Get a pet, and enjoy!

Raising Children to Do Their Chores

Maryann — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:47:26 +0000

Raising Children to Do Their Chores

Raising children is in my opinion the hardest job out there!
On top of trying to produce conscientious and responsible citizens that are honest and trustworthy – we need to find ways to get the kids to do their chores! – In the past I have ripped out my hair trying….lol

If you have children, you know how hard it can be at times to get them to do the things they should. Between after school activities, video games, cell phones, and computers, convincing your kids to take care of their household chores and other responsibilities can be a real challenge.

The truth is, not every method of motivation will work with your child. Also, what works for one child may be detrimental to another!

* As parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be a friend to your child, but your goal is to be their leader, teacher, and motivator, too!

Motivating your kids to do their chores:

1. Kids love praise.

Your kids want your attention and praise. If they know that doing the things they’re supposed to do will bring them praise, they’re more likely to do those things. You’re their parent and they want to make you proud of them.

* By encouraging them and praising them frequently, you’re reinforcing good behavior.

2. Offer rewards.

Often, children are motivated by rewards. The rewards don’t have to be large or involve money. You can reward your children by:

* Spending time with them doing an activity they enjoy
* Reading to them
* Playing games with them
* Curling up and watching a movie together

* All of these rewards are positive motivators for your children. They’ll be much more eager to do their household chores if the reward is something they can look forward to.

3. Lead by example.

If your kids see you doing nothing all day long, they’ll feel as if it’s okay for them to do the same thing. Remember that your children are like a sponge and they look up to you and want to emulate you.

* Show your kids that regular tasks can be rewarding. For example, seeing a bunch of separate ingredients transform into cookies that get compliments can give your child a confidence boost to help out again next time!

4. Fear of consequences.

There’s a big difference between consequences and punishment. When your children don’t do the things they’re supposed to do, you can teach them how their actions or inactions can have a negative impact on their lives and the lives of others.

* Take something away for a short period and explain why you’re doing it and how they can earn it back. This example of natural and logical consequences is essential preparation for adult life.

5. Show love.

Your children need and want your love and devotion. Get involved in their lives. If your child is really interested in something, do it with them!

* Showing children you appreciate them and respect their choices will build a deeper bond between you. When you ask them to get something done, they’ll be more likely to do it because of the mutual respect between you.

Raising children isn’t always easy.

It takes dedication and consistency to provide the example and direction needed to build a child’s character.

While it may seem easier to throw in the towel and do things yourself, standing steadfast and finding new ways to motivate your kids is much more likely to help them become a productive, responsible adult.

As a parent, it’s your job to mold your children into caring, responsible and respectful adults. Remember, children are people too and are motivated by the same things that motivate anyone else.

Things like love, attention, pleasure, rewards and recognition top the list of things children crave in their lives. Heaping these essential motivators onto your children will provide great rewards throughout their lives.

Try the above suggestions when raising children and you just might find they actually want to do their chores!

Lose the Frown, How To Get Out Of A Bad Mood

Maryann — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:30:19 +0000

Lose the Frown, How To Get Out Of A Bad Mood

A bad mood is a great way to bring you – and everyone around you – down a dwindling spiral. So how do you feel better and get out of a bad mood?

Bad moods are the dumps. No one likes bad moods and even more so, no one wants to be around someone who’s feeling sour.

Get out of a bad mood and feel better now!

Just try out one of these simple ideas to turn your frown upside down:

1. Get dressed.

That’s right. Get up, take a shower, put on some nice clothes and gussy yourself up to the nines.

* Studies have shown that your mood has a lot to do with your self-image. How different do you think your self-image is between a just-rolled-out-of-bed look and a ready-to-hit-the-ground-running look? 

* By getting dressed and doing what it takes to make yourself look good on the outside, you feel better on the inside. When you feel better on the inside, your mood changes significantly and you’re ready to face the day.

2. Get moving.

Exercise releases hormones that help alter your mood. Cleaning your space gets you moving and makes you feel better about your surroundings. It doesn’t really matter what you do; just get up, get out, and get moving.

* Many times your bad mood can be amplified by your lack of movement. Getting up and doing something, whether it’s exercising or even walking over to the nearest coffee shop, can give you a big mood boost.

3. Read a book.

Reading a book takes you to a different place and allows you to step into someone else’s shoes. Why not pick up a book by your favorite author and let them transport you out of your bad mood for an hour or so?

4. Meditate.

Deep breathing exercises and a focused mind can break you out of any sour mood. Remember back in grade school when you were taught to take deep breaths and count to 10 when you got angry? It was actually for a very good reason.

* When focusing on one thing and breathing deeply, our bodies tend to respond in a positive way by relaxing and releasing tension.

5. Hang out with friends.

What are friends for? Be around any of your good friends for any length of time and you’ll be snapped out of that bad mood so fast you won’t even know what hit you.

6. Laugh.

There’s no possible way that you can laugh and stay in a bad mood. It’s proven that your emotions follow your actions, which is why many therapists recommend taking action to cure things like anxiety and stress. Next time you’re in a bad mood, try laughing.

* I guarantee that you can’t stay in your bad mood after more than 5 minutes of continuous laughter!

7. Treat yourself.

Do something just for you. You deserve it anyway. The key is to just go a little overboard and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Have fun with it and make it memorable.

* Go shopping for one of your favorite articles of clothing and splurge a little if you can afford it. 

* Have a massage or spa treatment. Similar to the meditation, this is a great tool to relax and break you out of whatever might be dragging you down. 

* If you’re short on funds, go dream shopping. Go to one of the most expensive stores around and try on clothes or go test drive your dream car. Give yourself a reason to get back into the swing of things and get rolling again. 

* Get a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge.

Lots of Ways to Get Out Of a Bad Mood!

While there are many other ways to shake yourself out of a bad mood, these are a few great ways to start. Try some of them next time you’re feeling down.

Better yet, see how many of them you can make it through before your bad mood has completely vanished.

My guess is you might only make it to the second tip, then you’re just doing it because it’s fun! Feel better now and get out of that bad mood!