One of the lessons I have learnt in life is ‘When you are feeling down or confused, just look around you for inspiration. You won’t have to look too far. You don’t have to hold a celebrity or someone famous as your idol for inspiration. There are people around you who can give you plenty of inspiration and teach you life’s lessons.’ As an example, let me tell you about two people:

My Mother – I was talking to my mother a few days back and complaining to her about how difficult my sister and I are finding to raise our children and keep everyone around us happy. My mother simply said “Haven’t your aunts and me gone through all those things. We managed fine”. So I said to her, “But, that other aunt got away without having to struggle at all and she is not even a good person. See, God and life are good only to bad people like her. Look at you! You have slogged all your life for our family, sacrificed so much for us, do you have any happiness?” To which she responded, “God always takes care of me.” I was taken aback by her undaunting faith. Throughout my childhood and even now, in my adulthood, I have not seen my mother’s faith fade. She has consistently maintained her goodness and faith, in every situation. I hope I could be like her someday.

My Aunt – Another person from whom I have received immense inspiration is my aunt. She has gone through a lot in her life, and has been so resilient and persevering. She never gets flustered by any problems or humongous tasks. To me a ‘humongous task’ would be coming home to a sink full of dishes and her reaction to it would be, “You have to do it anyway, why not do it with a smile?” To her, no work is too difficult to do and no problem is impossible to solve. She has been my model of strength and perseverance.

These are just two people I have talked about, around me. There are a lot more people I look up to, from my son to my family to my friends around me. If you look around and notice the strengths in others around you, you will realize that there is a lot you can learn from them. Never undermine anyone’s ability or strength; even the smallest person may have the biggest strength in them.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

My friend wanted to get out of an unhappy and abusive marriage. Unfortunately for her, she was in a foreign country, away from her family, and didn’t have proper information about the laws of the place. She turned to a woman’s organization, run by other women from her country, for help and she was turned down on the excuse that they can help only if her life were in danger. But, the only help they did provide her was the contact details of some attorneys, who fought similar cases. So, she spoke to a few of the attorneys and hired the least expensive one, because her ex-husband had emptied out her bank account. The only thing that was in her favor was the fact that she had a job and had some source of income to survive and rely on.  After grappling through a few months of divorce and custody battle with her ex-husband, she gained her freedom. That was the turning point of her life. She found meaning and purpose in her pain – She decided to empower other women in her situation, with information and lessons learnt from her experience.

She collected information about stuff from marriage counseling to divorce laws, so she could advice and help others with the information. With all the information gained, she has been helping other women in similar situation, by referring them to relevant people and giving them advice on how to proceed. While understanding that each situation is different, she has tried to balance her emotions and give only objective suggestions.

Struggling through divorce battles or suffering the loss of/separation from loved one are painful situations. Pain is far from being pleasant, but thriving through and finding meaning in pain gives us the inner strength, to go on, be a better person and release encumbrances. When you find meaning in your pain you can turn it into gain.

Use your lessons from the pain and try to help others. Ask yourself this, “What can I gain from this pain that will be lessons learnt for others?” Get involved in helping others. Find meaningful ways to say goodbye to the pain.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

Yoga is an ancient Indian principle defining the method to live a healthy and content way of life. Yoga is not just about postures and exercise; it encompasses the lifestyle and state of mind of the people following it. You will find a myriad definitions for Yoga, so, I will not attempt to define Yoga here. What I want to talk about is how Yoga can influence and bring balance into your life.

As a brief overview, there are  six distinct schools/branches of Yoga: Hatha Yoga, Raja Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Jnana Yoga, Karma Yoga and Tantra Yoga. The emphasis of each branch may vary, but each branch contains a set of structured asanas (postures), which are aimed at keeping your mind and body in balance. You can select any of these depending on your needs and the desired end result. For people who go deeper into Yogic practice, it means finding their path to inner peace. That is the ultimate purpose of Yoga.

I was introduced to Yoga by a friend of mine. The real reason I agreed to go with her, was because we both figured we’d give each other company and motivate each other to not miss the classes. Since I had never practiced or attended any Yoga classes, the first few classes were a little tough for me. With time and regular practice I got better and have been enjoying the benefits of Yoga.

Talking of the benefits-The combination of Yogic asanas and meditation has helped with my routine stress pains, from headaches to neck pains. I feel the increase in my flexibility, stamina and body strength. With practice I have been able to regulate my breathing and make full use of the oxygen, which has helped me clear my mind. Needless to say I have been able to handle stress and tension better. Making Yoga a routine part of my life has enabled me to maintain a fit body, controlled mind and lead a harmonious life.

I have made Yoga my way of life, are you ready to take that step? Don’t miss the opportunity to bask in the benefits offered by Yoga.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

Being in a new place or with new people can be intimidating. When placed in such a situation it becomes imperative to form new relations, because humans are social beings. W e have the capability to judge, form opinions, build relations and express emotions. Relations are the fabric of our social skills; and the crucial component helping us form relations is the impressions and opinions we form of the people we interact with. So it becomes essential for us to positively contribute to portraying a good and lasting impression to build good relations. Depending on your need and type of relationship you are trying to form, here are a few tips you can follow:

Look and Feel Confident – Being confident will convey to the people around you a positive attitude and behavior. Also, when you are confident about yourself you can interact better with people.

Don’t overdo or over talk – Be friendly and approachable, but don’t overdo your enthusiasm. When you are in a new place or meeting new people, and would like to make new friends your friendliness is what will propel your efforts in the right direction. At the same time being over friendly or over involving will steer people away. While having a conversation pick safe subjects and try not to make any controversial remarks. (You can save all those for your close friends, who don’t mind and won’t judge what you say)

Address the person with their Name – I know people tend to forget names, especially if they have met briefly. When you are introduced to someone, attach a cue with the name to help you remember. The next time you see the person, you can address the person with their name. This shows attentiveness and personalizing.

Dress well – Dressing well doesn’t imply wearing any elaborate or expensive stuff. Make a conscious effort to dress for the occasion. Being well dressed will not only make you look and feel good, but will also tell others that you have put in the thought and effort for the way you look. As the adage goes, ‘First impressions are last impressions’. This may seem shallow and there are some who deny this, but in the real world how you present yourself tells a lot about you.

Be Positive – Last but not the least, radiating positive energy is the key to attracting positive relations. So, smile your way through new beginnings.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

I was getting late for work, and as I was rushing to leave I spilled coffee from my flask onto the carpet. I had to clean it up to save the carpet from ruin. As I rummaged in my closet for the carpet cleaner I created a big mess on the floor, which I decided to clean up after I would get home. I managed to clean up my carpet, leaving the other mess behind, and got to work. By now you would have got an idea of how my day was spiraling down the crisis drain. Yes, I got a little late to the office and will leave out the details of the stressful transit and rest of the day, including sorting out the mess I had left waiting for me at home. This was just another typical day happening in my life.
This brings me to my point, about being prepared for the daily crises we encounter in our lives. How can you avoid such stress and self caused trouble?
The first thing that comes to my mind is waking up early. Waking up early will give you time to perform all routine activities without rushing. That would mean, if something goes wrong, since you are not rushing around you can think of a better way to handle it, without causing yourself more trouble. So, no matter what time you sleep make it a rule to wake up at the same time everyday. Practice it for a few days and then your body will get used to it. That doesn’t exclude the option to sleep early and give your body the required sleep.
Organize your thoughts, tasks and plan your day. When you have a plan in place and your activities organized, you will not have to worry about the how and when. You can’t stop things from going wrong, but when they do you know you can focus on resolving them, as you are not preoccupied with your daily chores. If possible get your things ready for the next day on the previous night. Being prepared in advance will relieve you of the stress of getting things done in a hurry in the morning.
When things are going wrong it is easy to panic or get stressed out. But, remember that you can’t make things right by getting worried. Try to fit in some form of exercise or yoga with meditation. Yoga/exercise not only keeps your body fit but contribute in de-stressing, relaxing and recharging your mind.
Maintain a positive outlook and start your day with a big, bright smile.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche