Setting out to find a suitable partner is a project. Realization of the need for a partner will lead to the search for one. When you come across someone that seems to be a prospective partner, you will go through the relationship building phase. This is a good chance to vet out the person for being the right one. Here are a few things you could use as guidelines for the budding relationship:
1)    Being truthful and consistent: Sometimes people tend to make some untruthful statements, either out of the compulsion to impress or with the assumption that the lie will cause no harm to anyone or simply because they can’t remember the correct details. Unfortunately everything you say counts in the making of a successful relationship.  Because when the truth comes out, it is not only embarrassing but starts affecting your credibility. It could be about your age, your preferences or anything. Don’t tell lies, especially ones that can eventually be verified. If you can’t remember something don’t just say something to please the other person and later give another version of the same event. Again, it affects your credibility.
2)    Communicate Clearly: You should always be clear in the way you communicate with the other person. Whether it is about how you feel about something or about your likes and dislikes. If you have issues don’t hold them back, discuss them with the other person.
3)    Know what you want: Maybe making a List of what you are looking for in a partner, including marking the items that you can live with and can’t. If you haven’t made one and are already in a relationship, maybe you could make one now. Your current relationship could provide the benchmark for you.
4)    Don’t over-involve: There is a very thin line between over-involving and being involved. When you get over-involved the other person might misinterpret you as over-bearing or interfering. Learn when to draw the line.
5)    Don’t be self-centered and selfish: Make it about the other person.
6)    Expect to be Disappointed: You don’t always get everything you want or the way you want it, so make room for disappointments. Don’t let that creep into the relationship to the point that you nag and drive the other person away. Don’t have unreachable and unreasonable expectations.
7)    Last but not the least, enjoy every moment of the relationship, give it your best shot and if it doesn’t work use the lessons learnt from it to help you in your next venture.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

Expression of love is one of the factors influencing love relationships and partnerships. Sexual intimacy is one of the many forms of expressing love and building a connection. When this intimacy is filled with pleasure and satisfaction, it leads to a more fulfilling relationship. While, sexual intimacy is not the only expression or factor keeping a relationship going, it surely plays a major role in strengthening it. There are different ways of enhancing the experience for both man and the woman. Tantra is one of the techniques which prescribes practices for men, who want to take their relationship to a higher level.

Tantra is a Sanskrit word which, among other things, applies to the philosophy defining the universe as the divine play of Shakti and Shiva.  Everything in life is divided into 2 parts: Yin and Yang, Black and White and when these 2 unite there is a flow of energy. In the same way the universe is considered an amalgamation of the 2 opposites, Shiva and Shakti. According to Tantra one of the ways in which the energy flows is when the man and woman make love; Love making is a means to the divine transcendent state. This free flow of energy transcends the body and the senses to experience the divine. When the 2 coagulate it is like a doorway is opened for the energy to flow in. The free flow of energy through the body will enable a blissful state.

Men can practice Tantra to not only experience the divine but also make their partner experience this divine. Through Tantra men can learn to use the senses to experience life wonderfully and the collection of exercises enable men to better tune into the intimacy and sweetness of the experience. Men can practice Tantra exercises to enhance their ability to satisfy their partner, maintain their vigor, increase their power to procreate and balance different levels of sexual drive. Tantra brings out all these qualities without any artificial means or medicines. Men can tread the path to the divine through the prescribed exercises of Tantra.

By
Mary-Ann Roche

Men are usually faced with a conflicting situation – To provide for the wife and child(ren) a man has to work, sometimes long hours, and in doing so they miss out on spending time with their family. So, should they work more and make more money to provide or work less and make less money to spend time with the family? It’s a tough challenge to strike a balance between the two. Balancing this is the crux of keeping the family as one unit and ensuring everybody’s happiness.

Through all my years of living with my parents I remember the Golden Rule set by my father – ‘No matter where you go or what you do during the day, be home for dinner’. Dinner was considered an exclusive family time in my house. And, my father rarely broke the rule and rarely allowed us to break this rule. That was a time when we would all get together and catch up with each other, and unwind the day’s happenings. There were days when we’d be rolling on the floor with laughter or when we’d be upset with each other over something or when nothing eventful would happen; however that was our pristine family time. That was the time when my father was balancing his role as the husband and father – knowing what’s happening in his wife’s and children’s lives, understanding their needs, giving undivided attention and building lasting memories. I still look back with fond memories of those days and wonder if people still believe in such activities.

Setting priorities is very important when it comes to balancing conflicting interests. While it’s important to fulfill your duties at work, it is equally important to fulfill your duties as a husband and father.

Set an exclusive time for the family, when you can unwind your day and catch up with your family. Divide and plan your activities between activities for the whole family and things that you can do exclusively with your wife. You don’t have to plan anything big. Maybe you can have something like a game night on one day of the week, when the whole family can get together and play some games. With your wife, maybe you could have a lunch date day if feasible.

Offer to take turns with your wife for the pickups and drop-offs. Your wife shouldn’t be the only one that takes your children to their school/classes/play dates. Offer to do that job sometimes, this would not only give your wife a much needed break, but help you connect with your children and know more about their activities.

Be the anchor for your family. Even if you don’t understand why they are upset be supportive of them when they are upset. You can rationalize later, when everyone calms down.

Everyone likes surprises. So, make room for some occasional surprises. Be the “Neighbor’s envy and Family’s pride”.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

The advent of technology has made reaching out to people so easy and convenient that distances and boundaries have almost vanished. Despite this most people seem to be biased about long distance relationships being successful.

People in a long distance relationship should first overcome the hurdle of physical distance.  A person should get into a long distance relationship with the mindset that the distance will not be a hurdle and he/she will treat this relationship just the way they would a normal one, with a few adjustments here and there.

To make long distance relationship work people should set some ground rules and expectations. Rules will define how the relationship will be handled and expectations will define the emotional involvement aspect.  Rules around the communication channels used, frequency of communication, how often to meet, what activities to share, extent of involvement of each in the other’s lives, handling of disagreements, etc. Expectations of where the relationship is going or what each one wants out of the relationship and how each will contribute to helping the other reach their goals.

When people live in different locations then the mode and means of communication becomes very essential to how the relationship shapes up. People should try not to limit the relationship to just phone conversations or emails or chats, etc. Using a combination of the modes available will be more effective, especially for people living in different time zones.

Set a finite schedule for meeting so that each will have something to look forward to. Waiting for something to happen without knowing when is always frustrating. This doesn’t imply No Surprises. Surprising your long distance partner with a sudden visit is wonderful, but that shouldn’t preclude a schedule. While making a meeting schedule remember to take turns for travelling. Only one person doing the travelling is frustrating and will take a toll on the relationship. So be fair to each other by deciding when and who will do the travelling.

Having common activities that can be shared and done together will help keep people stay connected. People need to have something in common to do, as a way to overcome the distance. This could be playing a game together online, reading a book and talking about it, solving puzzles, etc. Get creative and come up with something interesting for both.

Involving in each other’s lives will help understand and relate to each other better. Accept that the even though each lives in different locations they will remain connected and involve the other in their goings on.

Getting to know a person better will inevitably include some disagreements. Arguing over the phone or email or chat will only make matters worse. Try to hold off the argument until you meet each other. If the matter can’t wait that long, try to not let anger drive the argument. Be careful with your choice of words and mellow down the tone.

While I would say that making any relationship work is completely dependent on the people involved, I also believe that if certain standards are set and followed then any relationship can bloom. Long distance relationships are no exception to following some guidelines to be successful. Make distance a factor in the relationship not a drawback.

By
Mary-Ann Roche.

For a guy asking a woman out is not always easy.  If you barely know her then its difficult to know what to say let alone when to say it!  Often times she has friends around her and its difficult to get her undivided attention.

Texting is one way of asking a woman out on a date and can strangely enough be considered quite intimate and personal!  Who would have thought?  If you are one of those guys that tends to freeze when confronted by a beautiful woman, then texting can help ease the nervousness of being put on the spot.

When you meet a woman you really like and you have no idea what to say then taking her phone number may initially be your best move.  Texting is great because it relieves that pressure of saying just the right thing at the right time, or it avoids that awkward silence you so often have when you meet someone new.  The greatest thing about texting is that it removes the anxiety and gives you the confidence to perhaps say what you wouldnt necessarily say face to face!

With texting you can quickly ascertain a woman's level of interest in you.  In fact when texting you can sometimes miss a few steps in the traditional dating game as there isnt that need for nervousness or shyness in a face to face interaction.  Of course the face to face meeting will come but strangely enough when it does, there are so many hurdles you will already have overcome!

The greatest thing about texting is it really does allow you to be a little bold and perhaps express yourself more directly than you otherwise would.  Texting really is here to stay and a great way to first begin talking to a woman you are interested in dating and in fact, texting your partner can sometimes be a very intimate experience only shared by the two of you!

For more secrets on texting woman successfully then grab a copy of Benjamin May's book "TEXT GAME SECRET". 

By

MaryAnn Roche