From Lisa’s Chair

The journey I have been on over the last five years is something most people, me included, only read about or see in the movies.  It has been a journey of highs, lows, laughter, tears and mostly of survival and self discovery.  A journey of developing into the person I have become today.  From the lows of lying in a Spinal unit to the highs of seeing the sparkling lights of the famous “Las Vegas Strip”.

It all began this time 5 years ago with a slight nagging pain in my upper arm.  I came home from my working day and commented to my partner that my upper arm was sore.  This progressed quite quickly to a pain that affected my daily routine, stopping me from working, sleeping and socialising.  I found myself at the emergency department of our major hospital, to be given the diagnosis of a massive bulging disc on my C5/C6.  After trying so many lotions and potions I was advised  by my doctor that the only option was surgery.  I was then booked to see a “Very well known and experienced” Neurosurgeon.  I was excited to be seeing this person who would take away my pain and give me my life back.  He assured me it was a very simple operation, and I would have more hope of being hit by a bus when he discharged me, than of anything going wrong.  I was so full of hope and could hardly wait until this wonderful person was going to give me my life back, 9th February 2005.  I could never had known how his words would ring in my ears for the rest of my life………3 to 5 days, you will be back home, pain free.  Those words started me on a journey of self development into the stronger person I have become today.

Hope you enjoy my story….

Kind Regards
Lisa Monaghan

Out with the Old In with the New

9^th February, 2005, a day forever in my memory, a day I was so looking forward to. Arriving bright and early keen to get the process going, I could never have imagined how devastated my family and I would feel by late this afternoon. I really don’t think there are any words that could describe my mortal fear when I realized that I could no longer move, I was so happy as I waved to my mother at 10am that morning as they wheeled me away smiling, to the operating theatre.

 Somewhere, somehow during my operation something had happened that would change everything in every aspect of my life. My body, mind and soul were no longer as I had always known them to be. My first realisation that all was not well was saying I felt pain in my arm, I just kept repeating that something was wrong. My family were downstairs unsure of what was going on as I was due out of theatre three hours earlier.

I remember waking seeing my Son, Daughter, Mother and Partner standing there smiling, huge bunches of flowers in hand, happy to see me at last. They had no idea of the horror we were all about to face. I was so sure that this was going away and all was going to be good again. Why wouldn’t it be-I was getting a new car and had a planned holiday to the Reef. Just a day or two should see all of this go away, after all the awful pain I felt was gone. I will be home again in 3 to 5 days, the Surgeon had assured me of that.

Never could I have imaged the journey I was about to undertake, a journey of digging deep and finding survival tactics I never knew existed. It is amazing the inner strength you can find when you are faced with adversity. Look out Lisa, out with the old and in with the new……….

07/02/10

As you can see by the date on my column today it has been some time since I last wrote and things have come to light of which I could never have imagined, but for now back to my hospital stay.  My three day visit lasted for nine long agonizing months, agonizing for me, my children, my parents, family and friends.  To see the pain and helplessness on their face day after day is really hard and sad.  To see their glee is also sad, their glee because you can now hold a pen or a cup or you can brush your hair, they feign excitement but really their heart is just as broken as yours, but they have to be as happy as they can be for your sake.  You do have your happy moments of course when funny things happen and you can even laugh at yourself and as time goes on you learn to do this more and more.  As much as you don’t like being in hospital it almost becomes a safe haven or another family and leaving it, even for just a few hours can be quite traumatic.  

My first trip out of the hospital was amazing and I almost felt like an alien!  Allan, my partner at the time, had asked me to marry him and he wanted to take me for a champagne to celebrate.  I had been practicing for a few weeks with my physiotherapist, Josh, how to transfer in and out of a car, so here was my opportunity.  It was slow, difficult and painful, but with the help of my Physio’s and Allan I was in the front seat of the car, the same car that had dropped me off a few months ago to start this painful journey.  Oh how excited I felt, it felt so weird to be in a car, yet I had been driving since I was 17.  We drove off leaving the hospital behind, so excited at something so seemingly small, I immediately called my mother and said excitedly “You will never guess where I am Mum, I am in the car with Allan”, such a big moment, we were so happy.  We stopped and picked up some piccolos of champagne and went and parked down by the river and drank to our excitement, to getting engaged, to being alone together, to being back in the real world, sitting in the car like a ‘Normal’ person, life just didn’t get any better.

Unfortunately, reality has a way of biting you when you least expect it, after we had finished drinking our champagne, it was time for me to remember that I had to go back to the Spinal Unit, Allan had told me something that had broken my heart and the Physios gave us a scolding as in our haste to get away from the hospital we had forgotten to take my wheelchair.  It seems my spinal injury was going to be with me wherever I went for the rest of my life……..how could I deal with that?

Kind Regards

Lisa Monaghan