A wonderful ex-colleague, who is now one of my best friends used to suffer from panic attacks. I remember how she would dread coming in to work, so she will not have to deal with our obnoxious boss. Even an email from the boss would push her into panic mode; she would be jittery and shaky due to her panic attack. It would take a lot of cajoling and comforting for her to regain her tranquility. And sometimes she would resort to tranquilizers to calm her down. It is from her that I learnt all about panic attacks and realized that there are many who have such symptoms. You could be one of the many experiencing panic attacks.

There is nothing good about such attacks, but you can make good of the situation with some practice and control from your side. To start with you need to make a mental note of when and how you panic. Knowing and understanding your trigger points will equip you with what you need to work on.

Relaxation exercises are a good way to help manage your panic attacks. Relaxation exercises will ease the tension in your muscles and declutter your mind, so you can have better control over your thoughts
and emotions. When you have control over your mind, you can control your anxiety and fears effectively and have a better grip over yourself. Having the ability to handle your trigger points and controlling your mind will in turn curb your panic attacks.

Positive thinking and approach to any situation will lead to positive results. I used to ask my friend, who used to have panic attacks because of our boss, “What is the worst he can do to you? Fire you? But, he can’t take away the good things you have, your life and your family!” That is one thing you need to understand, being in a panic filled situation is not the end of the world or your life. There’s more to life than a situation, which will pass. You cannot let your fears keep you away from enjoying life and confronting challenges. Panic will not solve your issues; it will only make it worse. So take a positive approach and set yourself free of panic.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche


1)      Be well prepared and rehearse your speech/presentation. This will set your mind’s direction of thinking and keep you focused on what you say, instead of you grappling for words on stage, which is embarrassing. Rehearse at least one night before the day of your speech/presentation. A well prepared mind leads to a well presented self.

2)      Avoid using filler words like, ‘you know’, etc. If you have forgotten your lines move onto the next topic or slide in line. Don’t stand there pulling a blank on yourself, trying to remember the lines. You will make yourself more nervous.

3)      Keep your voice leveled. You are the only one that is nervous, no one knows that and you have to keep it that way. You don’t want the audience to think that you are nervous. Don’t sound too meek or aggressive. Make sure your tone is consistent throughout.

4)      Pause occasionally to give yourself and the audience a break, but don’t stretch it for too long though. If you take too long the audience might lose interest or you might just get back to your nervousness.

5)      Words and actions are all that you got, to show up there. While you have the words taken care of, you have to visualize and practice your actions too. Your body language will speak volumes about your confidence level and preparedness. Don’t fidget or overly make gestures. Practice your postures and expressions relevant for your speech/presentation. 

6)      Know your audience. Make eye contact with the audience. Don’t let your gaze go astray or be fixed on a certain spot, try to make eye contact. This will make it personable for the audience and keep them riveted to what you have to say.

7)      Make sure you get good rest the previous night. If possible do some relaxations exercises on both the day before and the day of the speech/presentation.

While going on the stage take a deep breath and stride in with confidence. Rise and let yourself shine up there in the spotlight.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

This is done everyday by ordinary people and only the foolhardy would neglect doing it.  But having a Fear of Failure Mindset that paralyses our will to try and achieve goals that we would like to achieve is something different and something that we should try to overcome.

Most goals are achieved little by little.

Remember from small things big things grow. So start small.  Set the goal in your mind and ask yourself where do I start?  Beginning is a small step, so take it and follow it up with more small steps and you may find ” That did not work ” and you might be tempted to think you have failed – but that is jumping to the wrong conclusion. All you have done is something that has not brought the desired result in the small step towards the ultimate goal.

Simply you have made a mistake. But dont let it dishearten you,  perhaps seek advice and try another approach.  If that still does not work then another until the best course of action is arrived at to achieve your goal.

These things are not failure but just little mistakes that you make along the way. Determination is the best attribute for a person wanting to achieve success. Determination not to give in easily in the pursuit of your goal and be frustrated and disheartened by the small mistakes you will make along the way.

Goals are achieved by determination not to let little set backs frustrate and deter you but  to ” Try Try Again”. You will find your confidence growing as each little step is achieved.  You will also find that other goals can be achieved as you are pursuing your main goal.

Rememberto try and have that will, that determination, that will take you a long way along the road to success.

By Michael Roche. (aged 87 years)

Do you have a fear of failure? if so you may not know the power of failure! Read on to find out more about Failure…

What do you think when you hear the word failure? You probably are thinking that you’re not good enough and that you should give up?

While failure can involve those thoughts and emotions, failure can also make us stronger or wiser.

A simple definition of failure is:

An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.

You might easily have a fear of failure if you don’t understand the power of failure!

When I think of this definition of failure, I’m reminded of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. While there are many conflicting stories of how many times Edison “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb, most agree it was in the thousands before he found the right combination of materials.

One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

If you adopt this same attitude, you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.

Robert Schuller stated these famous words, “Failure doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.”

Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

When you consider those words from these wise and successful people, you’ll truly begin to understand the power of failure.

The truth is, you only fail when you give up!

When you keep trying until you’ve found the answer or the solution, you’re successful. You’d never say Thomas Edison, Robert Schuller or Henry Ford were failures would you? Sure, they were unsuccessful many, many times, but they didn’t give up until they found the answer, the right procedure or the right materials to solve their dilemma.

In case those quotes weren’t enough to make you believe failure has a positive power and strength, here are some more you might relate to:

“Failure is an event, never a person.” – William D. Brown

The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve the desired result immediately, remember failure is an event; it’s not you.

Bill Cosby also said it well when he said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

If you’re trying to please everyone, you can’t possibly succeed!

“Never confuse a single defeat with final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You can’t have any successes until you can accept failures.” – George Cukor

Just because you’ve failed once, twice or 10,000 times at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.

Still not convinced? How about this:

“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney

What do these words mean to you? No matter what you’re trying to succeed at, whether it’s a sport, project, career, invention, or at school, there will be times when you don’t succeed. But you mustn’t let that stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, and desires.

The common thread among all these famous people and their wise words is the same. You can’t have success without failure. Never give up and never stop trying.

There is power in failure, you just have to give yourself a chance. Keep trying, keep failing and soon you’ll find true success!

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia – the inability to make decisions or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairly easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success.

However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure” but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as “fear of success“?

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

Studying and trying to implement self improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.

You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are the symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination is a ‘success killer’! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal.

Procrastination.

Putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Can’t see the forest for the trees!

This is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don’t get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialised goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Seeing only problems.

How do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and alll the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

“How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?” you say. “Easily”, is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Everytime you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements.

If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “how best can I overcome this challenge?” or “how quickly can I rectify this situation?”.

The quality of your questions are important. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don’t get caught up in it just be prepared.

Being a Perfectionist.

This is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success or fear of failure will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your self improvement and personal development.

Don’t be scared to succeed! Success is Great! Really

So you’re probably thinking that fear and success dont mesh into one sentence? Well they do and alot of people actually fear success and other things that stand in the way of them achieving success.

Everyone has fears and many people let those fears stop them from doing things that may prove to be worthwhile or even lucrative.

What are you afraid of? Are your worries preventing you from getting things accomplished in your life?

How can you turn your fear into a positive force in your life?

The first thing you need to understand is the fear itself. Why are you afraid? Is it a rational fear? A fear of snakes can be rational, while a fear of spoons isn’t.

Figure out if your fear is rational; if it isn’t, try to understand why you have such an irrational fear. You may need to seek help if you can’t understand or overcome it.

Sometimes the only way to get over a stress or worry is to confront it head on. If you have a fear of failure about a certain task, then the only thing to do is take it on and beat it. If you succeed, you’ll be encouraged to face another fear.

Sometimes the things we are afraid of can drive us to do great things and achieve massive success. Once you learn to conquer your fears, you can move past them. The strength you gain from conquering them can provide the momentum that drives you to future success.

If you fail to conquer your fear the first time, regroup and try again. Each time you try, you’ll learn something new that you can use the next time around.

You can also take your mind off your fears. Here are 3 good ways:

1. Set goals.

Take some time out of your day to set some specific, short term, and simple goals. The more you can complete, the more self-confidence you’ll build. Self-confidence is a powerful tool for removing fear.

2. Talk about it.

Fears can multiply when you bottle them up inside you. When you let fear build, it snowballs and gets bigger and bigger until it becomes terrifying to you. Talking about it helps relieve the pressure and gives you the opportunity to obtain honest feedback.

3. Exercise.

Physical activity boosts the immune system and strengthens the mind and body. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that help promote a healthy mind and body. In the least, exercise can take your mind off your worries.

Worries Are Fears, Too!

Let go of the habit of worry. Worry is a useless emotion and doesn’t help you move beyond rational fear. Why? Worry always falls into one of two categories:

1. Things you can control.

If you can control the situation you are concerned about, then it’s simple: take action! If you’re doing everything you can, then you no longer have any need to worry and are on the road to success.

* Worry slows you down, makes you second guess yourself, and could even lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.

2. Things you can’t control.

If you have no control over the outcome of a situation, why worry about it? You can’t change or control other people. What will happen, will happen.

* Worrying won’t make a difference at all in the situation. It will only add to your fears and prevent you from taking care of the things you can control.


In the end, facing your fears head on will give you more self-confidence, provide valuable experience, and make you stronger as you build your success. You don’t have to be a slave to your fears. You can face your fears valiantly and triumphantly! Don’t fear success, embrace it – it feels great! That’s what I’m thinking about fear and about success – do you have anything to add?

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70mO4V7s3sY]
Watch the video here or read the full article below!

Do you feel fear? would you like to overcome fear and fear nothing?
Everyone struggles with fear over something and we need to learn how to overcome our fears so we can enjoy a better life.

Fear is an emotion, and while sometimes it’s very valid and can help preserve your life, there are other times it simply must be faced and dealt with in order to be free. Fear can be a debilitating thing. It can completely ruin your day or even, in some cases, your life!

Here are some effective strategies you can use to overcome fear and help you fear nothing!

1. What is your fear?

If you can identify what you feel fear over, you’re off a good start. Can whatever you fear hurt you? Begin to conquer your fear by determining if it is rational or irrational.

* If it can hurt you, then there’s validation in your fear. In the least, you can work out a backup plan that gives you some level of comfort.

* If you feel fear, but it can’t harm you in any way, then you’re working with an irrational fear. In truth, there’s nothing to fear here, although it sure is easier said than done!


2. Confront your fear!

Although talking about your fear is the starting point, ultimately you need to face your fear head on. You’ll never get over a fear solely by talking about it. Nothing can be conquered until you face it.

* Find a safe way to confront your fear. Take a trusted person with you and start by facing a scaled down version of the thing that causes you anxiety.

* You don’t have to face it all alone. Reach out to your loved ones for support. They’ll be happy to help you overcome something that’s preventing you from having a better life. 


3. The best defense is a strong offense!

If you want to fear nothing, instead of hiding from your fear and creating defenses to keep it away from you, use the things you’ve read here to build up a way to attack your fear head on.

* Sometimes the best way to beat a fear is by doing the very thing you fear. If you’re afraid of being in an elevator, take a close friend with you and ride an elevator. Even one or two floors at a time will help you work towards overcoming your fear.


* Discover the best way to destroy it with a direct attack.

* Research your fear and learn about it. 


* Repeat your experiment until you aren’t afraid of it anymore.

4. What are other people doing?

Whatever your fear is, someone else has experienced it as well. Search out those people who share your feelings and learn from them.

* For example, if you’re afraid of flying, you probably know people who have flown, so talk to them about it! It’s quite possible they also had the same fear and overcame it. It’s not like everyone else has no fear and only you do! Ask them what steps they took to move beyond their fear.

5. Change the way you do things.

You’ve heard the expression “Mind over matter.” Facing your fear is often a matter of simply making a decision to change it. This fear was born in your mind and it grew because you fed it more fear.

There are fears that are perfectly normal, such as a fear of being burned while cooking. You should be a little afraid of burns – they hurt!

Those types of fears are normal, perfectly rational fears and are not something you need to fix. Fears can be helpful in many circumstances. However, if a fear is controlling your life, you need to face it head on and conquer it.

If you’ve convinced yourself that an irrational fear is real, you can do the same in reverse and convince yourself that you fear nothing! Many times we feel fear we have created for ourselves. The moment something causes you to become fearful, stop that thought in its tracks and turn it into something positive instead.

As I said earlier – we all are afraid of something! Anyone who says they fear nothing is probably lying, or are they? Some people have overcome fear to the point where they have excellent strategies in place to overcome fears when they arise.

You can be one of these people by using my tips to overcome fear. No longer will you feel fear and soon you will fear nothing – enjoy a better life!

Fear has been defined in several ways; however, the most basic definition of fear is an emotional response based on the fact that we’re faced with something unfamiliar or impending danger.

Experiencing fear can greatly impact your view on life, your confidence levels, and even the potential that you have as an individual.

Overcoming the fear of the unknown is a challenging endeavor, but it can be done. If you suffer from a fear of uncertainty, understanding what fear is, and how it affects you, can start you on the road to conquering it.

When we experience fear, several psychological and physiological responses take place all at the same time.

Psychological events include feeling emotionally overwhelmed, having high levels of anxiety, and even feeling terrified. Physiological responses include a faster heart rate, shallow breathing, and similar effects.

Here’s an example of a situation where a woman had the crippling fear that everything she did would result in failure:

Janice was very successful in her career and personal life. It seemed that people were instantly drawn to her and her ideas, but on the inside, Janice was a mess.

Every time she worked on a project, she would throw herself into it. In the end, she would ultimately succeed, but on the inside, she was always worried that she would fail or that her completed project wouldn’t be good enough.

For the most part, she recognized the fact that her fear was irrational. However, Janice grew up in an abusive home. She was physically beaten and consistently ridiculed by her father. Regardless of what she did, it was never enough to meet his expectations.

The result was that she grew up to become a workaholic, often struggling to finish several things at once, and leaving very little time for herself.

The root of her fear of failure was grounded in her childhood. Her father harbored unrealistically high expectations and would be mentally and physically abusive towards her when his expectations weren’t met. Once she realized this about her past, Janice was able to ease her personal expectations and overcome her fear.

Here are some strategies you can use to help overcome your fear:

1. Face your fears. Once you’ve accepted your fear and identified the root cause, you’re ready to conquer it! The best method to do this is to face it head on.

* Make a decision to purposely tackle your fears by indulging yourself in activities that push you outside of your comfort zone. For example, put yourself in a place where you’re safe, yet uncomfortable, or respectfully confront someone from your past. In the end, you’ll find that you can successfully overcome your fears, one by one!

2. Recognize your fears. By realizing that you’re fearful, you’re more likely to get to the bottom of what the fear is.

* You may also have a fear of facing your fears. The best way to conquer this fear is to accept the truth behind what’s causing you to experience limited happiness in life.

* Regardless of the issue at hand, it’s important that you recognize your fear and attempt to define what it is that makes you terrified of the unknown. The key here is not to dwell on your fear, but rather to understand precisely what it is you’re worried about.

* You might come to understand that you’re afraid of failing or taking chances. You may even be fearful because you simply don’t have confidence in yourself.

3. Determine the underlying root of your fears. How can you identify the cause of your fears? An insightful look at your life might reveal the answer. By recognizing what causes your fears, it’s likely you can overcome them with great success!

As you work to unlock the chains that bind you to your fears, you’ll enjoy a freedom that you’ve never felt before.

To overcome your fear of the unknown is a difficult undertaking. However, if you take the time to engage in these three steps, you’ll discover a renewed peace and happiness within your heart!

You can do it! Overcome your fear and have a better life!

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

By,
Mary-Ann Roche