Do you experience sudden palpitations, dizziness, excessive sweating or the urge to run away or the feeling that the walls of the room are caving in, when placed with an unpleasant situation/person? What you are experiencing can be categorized as a Panic Attack. A panic attack happens mostly due to anxiety or phobia – A panic attack can happen to anyone; it could be due to a fear of flying, socializing, public speaking, or any kind of confrontation, etc.

A wonderful ex-colleague, who is now one of my best friends used to suffer from panic attacks. I remember how she would dread coming in to work, so she will not have to deal with our obnoxious boss. Even an email from the boss would push her into panic mode; she would be jittery and shaky due to her panic attack. It would take a lot of cajoling and comforting for her to regain her tranquility. And sometimes she would resort to tranquilizers to calm her down. It is from her that I learnt all about panic attacks and realized that there are many who have such symptoms. You could be one of the many experiencing panic attacks.

There is nothing good about such attacks, but you can make good of the situation with some practice and control from your side. To start with you need to make a mental note of when and how you panic. Knowing and understanding your trigger points will equip you with what you need to work on.

Relaxation exercises are a good way to help manage your panic attacks. Relaxation exercises will ease the tension in your muscles and declutter your mind, so you can have better control over your thoughts
and emotions. When you have control over your mind, you can control your anxiety and fears effectively and have a better grip over yourself. Having the ability to handle your trigger points and controlling your mind will in turn curb your panic attacks.

Positive thinking and approach to any situation will lead to positive results. I used to ask my friend, who used to have panic attacks because of our boss, “What is the worst he can do to you? Fire you? But, he can’t take away the good things you have, your life and your family!” That is one thing you need to understand, being in a panic filled situation is not the end of the world or your life. There’s more to life than a situation, which will pass. You cannot let your fears keep you away from enjoying life and confronting challenges. Panic will not solve your issues; it will only make it worse. So take a positive approach and set yourself free of panic.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche


Public Speaking is an art, which requires oratory and rhetoric skills. Speaking in front of a crowd of strangers, or even known people, is not easy. It takes a lot of confidence and courage to be able to fearlessly speak to an audience attentively listening to you. From giving a speech to making a presentation, there are instances where people experience palpitations, cold feet or sweating due to the fear of being on the podium. For some the initial jitters go away as they ease their way onto the dais and for some the jitters are constant and bothersome. To reduce the jitters and nervousness here are a few tips that will help:

1)      Be well prepared and rehearse your speech/presentation. This will set your mind’s direction of thinking and keep you focused on what you say, instead of you grappling for words on stage, which is embarrassing. Rehearse at least one night before the day of your speech/presentation. A well prepared mind leads to a well presented self.

2)      Avoid using filler words like, ‘you know’, etc. If you have forgotten your lines move onto the next topic or slide in line. Don’t stand there pulling a blank on yourself, trying to remember the lines. You will make yourself more nervous.

3)      Keep your voice leveled. You are the only one that is nervous, no one knows that and you have to keep it that way. You don’t want the audience to think that you are nervous. Don’t sound too meek or aggressive. Make sure your tone is consistent throughout.

4)      Pause occasionally to give yourself and the audience a break, but don’t stretch it for too long though. If you take too long the audience might lose interest or you might just get back to your nervousness.

5)      Words and actions are all that you got, to show up there. While you have the words taken care of, you have to visualize and practice your actions too. Your body language will speak volumes about your confidence level and preparedness. Don’t fidget or overly make gestures. Practice your postures and expressions relevant for your speech/presentation. 

6)      Know your audience. Make eye contact with the audience. Don’t let your gaze go astray or be fixed on a certain spot, try to make eye contact. This will make it personable for the audience and keep them riveted to what you have to say.

7)      Make sure you get good rest the previous night. If possible do some relaxations exercises on both the day before and the day of the speech/presentation.

While going on the stage take a deep breath and stride in with confidence. Rise and let yourself shine up there in the spotlight.

By

Mary-Ann Roche

“I feel so groggy because I couldn’t sleep last night”, said my friend at a team meeting.   I asked “Why?” 

“Oh this whole meeting and being among so many people makes me nervous. I cringe when I have to travel in a train or bus. I feel so self conscious, like everyone is watching and judging me. I even refused that wonderful job offer I got last month, because I had to take a train to get there. I am very uncomfortable when I am around people I hardly know. I have social anxiety.”

Social Anxiety:  My understanding of social anxiety is nervousness caused in certain social situations. Social anxiety is not fear of people, but fear while interacting in a group of people. To some people these situations may seem too trivial to fret about. But, to someone who actually goes through all this, it could mean sleepless nights and skipping meals.

Social anxiety can manifest itself in many forms and at different stages of people’s lives: From being anxious about attending a party you’ve been invited to, where you (think) don’t know anyone, or about a meeting at work to taking any mode of public transport, etc. The reason for this could be anything from shyness in personality to psychopathological disorder. Any personality issues causing social anxiety can be handled with some simple tips people can follow. Disorder sounds extreme, but there are people that fall under that spectrum and such extremes call for bigger help than simple tips.

Social anxiety becomes a concern when it impedes a person’s progress; like my friend who didn’t take the lucrative job offer, for fear of riding a train amiss a group of strangers.

While adding a disclaimer that overcoming social anxiety depends entirely on the person, here are some tips that might help a person overcome social anxiety:

1)    Sometimes a good pep talk from a friend can work wonders. Confront your fears by talking about them to your close confidant. Talking about how you feel may lighten your burden of carrying the fear bottled within you. 

2)    Rehearse your possible conversations or reactions in front of the mirror and confront your fears.  Talk about what you are afraid of and why. Say to yourself that you will overcome this and not be deterred by anyone or anything.

3)    Imagine yourself in that dreaded moment and extend your imagination with the image that you are actually fine in that situation. Kind of like the law of attraction. Positive outlook and attitude to situations yields positive results.

4)    Before the big day/moment practice some breathing exercises to relax your body and ease your mind.

5)    Learn to eliminate your social anxiety with a little known technique.

Take a deep breath and walk into the situation with confidence and the moment will be yours! You never who or what you will find in the awkwardest of moments!

By Mary-Ann Roche.

They can be an ominous sounding four words but they need not be. It is natural and prudent to fear failure for the success of any enterprise or personal goal and to weigh the pro and cons in the beginning.

This is done everyday by ordinary people and only the foolhardy would neglect doing it.  But having a Fear of Failure Mindset that paralyses our will to try and achieve goals that we would like to achieve is something different and something that we should try to overcome.

Most goals are achieved little by little.

Remember from small things big things grow. So start small.  Set the goal in your mind and ask yourself where do I start?  Beginning is a small step, so take it and follow it up with more small steps and you may find ” That did not work ” and you might be tempted to think you have failed – but that is jumping to the wrong conclusion. All you have done is something that has not brought the desired result in the small step towards the ultimate goal.

Simply you have made a mistake. But dont let it dishearten you,  perhaps seek advice and try another approach.  If that still does not work then another until the best course of action is arrived at to achieve your goal.

These things are not failure but just little mistakes that you make along the way. Determination is the best attribute for a person wanting to achieve success. Determination not to give in easily in the pursuit of your goal and be frustrated and disheartened by the small mistakes you will make along the way.

Goals are achieved by determination not to let little set backs frustrate and deter you but  to ” Try Try Again”. You will find your confidence growing as each little step is achieved.  You will also find that other goals can be achieved as you are pursuing your main goal.

Rememberto try and have that will, that determination, that will take you a long way along the road to success.

By Michael Roche. (aged 87 years)

Do you know The Power of Failure?

Do you have a fear of failure? if so you may not know the power of failure! Read on to find out more about Failure…

What do you think when you hear the word failure? You probably are thinking that you’re not good enough and that you should give up?

While failure can involve those thoughts and emotions, failure can also make us stronger or wiser.

A simple definition of failure is:

An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.

You might easily have a fear of failure if you don’t understand the power of failure!

When I think of this definition of failure, I’m reminded of Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb. While there are many conflicting stories of how many times Edison “failed” at inventing the electric light bulb, most agree it was in the thousands before he found the right combination of materials.

One of Edison’s most famous quotes is, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

If you adopt this same attitude, you’ll overcome your feelings of failure and be able to see your dreams and desires come to fruition.

Robert Schuller stated these famous words, “Failure doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.”

Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

When you consider those words from these wise and successful people, you’ll truly begin to understand the power of failure.

The truth is, you only fail when you give up!

When you keep trying until you’ve found the answer or the solution, you’re successful. You’d never say Thomas Edison, Robert Schuller or Henry Ford were failures would you? Sure, they were unsuccessful many, many times, but they didn’t give up until they found the answer, the right procedure or the right materials to solve their dilemma.

In case those quotes weren’t enough to make you believe failure has a positive power and strength, here are some more you might relate to:

“Failure is an event, never a person.” – William D. Brown

The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve the desired result immediately, remember failure is an event; it’s not you.

Bill Cosby also said it well when he said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

If you’re trying to please everyone, you can’t possibly succeed!

“Never confuse a single defeat with final defeat.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You can’t have any successes until you can accept failures.” – George Cukor

Just because you’ve failed once, twice or 10,000 times at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You only fail when you stop trying.

Still not convinced? How about this:

“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney

What do these words mean to you? No matter what you’re trying to succeed at, whether it’s a sport, project, career, invention, or at school, there will be times when you don’t succeed. But you mustn’t let that stop you from reaching your goals, dreams, and desires.

The common thread among all these famous people and their wise words is the same. You can’t have success without failure. Never give up and never stop trying.

There is power in failure, you just have to give yourself a chance. Keep trying, keep failing and soon you’ll find true success!