I was recently reading an article about forgiving people. In the article the author actually wrote that sometimes it’s a good thing not to forgive someone. That got me thinking if I felt the same way and I went down memory lane to figure out how I handled all the people that hurt me and how I felt about each one of them. The trip was a rude awakening for me; it revealed to me that while I have forgiven some, I have been ignorantly living with bottled up anger and hurt towards a childhood friend of mine. I didn’t know when that anger had turned into hatred. ‘Hatred’ sounds like a very strong word, but when we bottle up negativity towards someone it eventually transforms into hatred.
While analyzing my interactions with my friend I realized that my blood pressure would shoot through the roof every time I talked to her. Without realizing it I would say something hurtful to her, yet she was still friends with me. How could I have become so horrible? I couldn’t move away from all the negative emotions, because I was letting that hurt and pain grow so much that it was taking over me. My relationship with her was getting stressful to handle. All the hurt was blocking me from enjoying my friendship with her. I couldn’t go on like this and wasn’t going to live my life with so much negativity. I had to take charge and resolve the tension inside me.
So, I evaluated the relationship: I had to vent out what it was that was really bothering me. I find it very easy to analyze a situation, dilemma or problem when I write my thoughts down. I wrote about what happened that transformed our friendship. Then, I wrote down how I felt about her and what I liked and didn’t like about her. Finally I wrote that I Forgive her and I am Sorry for my behavior, and sent her the same message. That was so liberating. I could feel the lightness of getting the burden off my chest. I had released the bottled up emotions and freed myself of the negativity.
We cannot undo the things that have happened in our lives, we hurt and get hurt. Forgiving someone and forgetting hurtful events in our lives is a very-very difficult task, especially if we still have to deal with the person. We live with so much pent up hurt and pain that we tend to block the joys of relationships. But forgiving and moving on frees us from the stress and burden of bottled up negativity. Just say the words “I Forgive You” to someone that hurt you and liberate yourself.

By,
Mary-Ann Roche

This entry was posted on Friday, July 16th, 2010 at 2:06 pm and is filed under Personal Development Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.